[chuff]

Thank you for your advice it helps a crap load to know others feel the same. Im even having dreams about her and me, im not going to go into great detail about them but after I wake up its utter confusion to me why I have them.

Your brain is dealing with loss, and one way it does it, is through dreams. I recommend excercising a couple hours before bed, then reading something before you sleep.

As you said, I did get a cold dish served to me and it does hurt like hell..all of a sudden im expected to not contact her at all and its a big change when you go from talkin everyday to no contact at all..

It is a big change, and it's a void that is there. Now you have the opportunity to fill that void with something else or several things. You have to pick something and go with it though. It doesn't even have to be right, it just has be something that is positive, if you decide you don't like it later you can give it up.

her sister in law told me if I really loved her id let her go..

Her sister in law is a b*tch. If you dumped her and she was missing you like this, do you think that would be the same advice she'd be dishing out? Not a chance. Her sister in law came up with some generic phrase that makes her feel good but is designed to make you stay away.

but I dont see how thats right. If you love someone shouldnt you do anything in your ability to prove it?

I'm disagreeing with you, and I hope you can take something good from this situation. It's not your job or responsibility to prove your love. You don't have to prove anything to her. Your job is to take care of yourself, love yourself, respect yourself, and enjoy yourself. What she does is HER problem. Again that is easier said then done, especially after 2 years. But you are responsible to you and only you. Right now it's your mental health that you need to take care of. That is the focus of where you need to prove your love. You need to prove it to yourself.

Ive tried and all I got was bitterness, hate, and total indifference and I feel I dont deserve that at all.

You don't deserve any of it. You have to come to admit this to yourself. You may have made mistakes, and when you head is clear, you can go back and learn from those mistakes, but in no way does that give her or her family to treat you like they do. A break up is one thing, disrespect is not tolerable.

When I got the cold platter it made me feel like the entire time we were together (about 2 years) was all just a big one night stand for her, and im the one who was left laying in the bed alone and confused.

Well, you were the one laying in bed confused. But that can turn into your favor. Right now you need to get your brain back up and healthy. After some of the emotions die off, you can go back and look at specific things that happened and correct them for the future. Do you think she's smart enough to do that? Not a chance. In this game she may have won, but give it some time, and some advice from this site I guarantee you, you will win the game of life. There is story after story of people here who have and then seen the ex months or years later and realized how bad the ex had it, and how great they had it. That can be you, but you are in the beginning stages, you just have to trust a little bit in those that are telling you what to do now.

[chuff]

"You are not a stalker. You are a man in pain, and that's fine"

I feel like quoteing that, then putting it up as a headline for my myspace heh.

While you can quote it, but don't put it on myspace, because either she or her friends will look there and see it and know you are in pain. A better quote might be..

"Out with the old, in with the new" or "Back in the saddle."

If you are going to use myspace, then use it to mess with her head, not tell her she's got the power over you.

Its just all mind blowing, right now I feel alright cause im here talkin with people who know how I feel, although when im staring off into space or have nothing to do she just clicks into my mind, all the good times we had..then I just think and think about it until I can't stop even if I want. I would rather someone chop of one of my fingers than feel this way.

Your fingers would be gone forever and that would suck. These feelings will be gone at some point and you'll still be able to tie your shoes.

[Jerry07]

Hey everyone. Im in the dumps yet again. I turned 20 last month and right now things in my life are horrible, nothings going the way I want.. it seems like all I get is the negative end of things, nothing but bad news in my life really, I was on myspace and got an invite from a friend of my ex's he was nice and he lives in a different state than me and my ex so I thought it would be OK. Which was very stupid of me. I looked at his profile and saw comments from my ex to him and she seems like things are going perfect for her, and it just bugs me because things for me aren't good at all.. not just with getting over her but my life in general right now is just crappy. I guess its true misery loves company. I feel like I'm stuck in time and I'm not going forward.. the things my ex said to me are starting to make me think that they are all true.. I feel like putting that message up here to show to all of you I really don't care. I just feel very alone because in my life I have no one to talk to about any of this.. they say live in the now.. not the past or future but the now, and when I do that I push back all the negative until I finally realize its still there and it just overwhelmes me, I don't know if this has to do with her... I kind of think it does.. or if I'm just in a real crappy point in life right now.. I don't know how to make any sense of it all.

[talaniman]

Stay off those online things, that she is on.

[Dragonfly1234]

Hello everyone, im new here. Im stuck in a situation that I can't help but ask about..I know there are others that feel the same and that is why im here. About 2 months ago a relationship ended that meant the world to me..she was my first love, the first one I ever felt a connection with. Im not saying ive never had a girlfriend..she was just the one I actually grew to love, and now she hates me yet I still love her. We had promised eachother we would always be friends..but I broke up with her because I was feeling confused about where we were going, she even wanted to be friends with me still when I told her. I eventually came to my senses and realized I had made such a big mistake..she was my best friend and she was the only one I could talk to when I was in the dumps. Whenever I wanted her back she wanted to remain just friends..I was devastated and could not just be friends..it was ockward. We still talked with eachother. She said she wanted me in her life and I just kept pushing her away because I couldnt understand why she wouldnt take me back..she even said she loved me "as a friend" this hurt..because I wanted to be that guy. Her one and only..we dated for about 2 years. One very regretful night I decided to drink with my friends..which was a mistake because I was angry at her for not wanting me back..so I called her a very hurtful name over the phone..it hurt her so bad that after that she wanted nothing to do with me, she didnt even want to be friends. She doesnt want me calling her, emailing her or anything. Ive tryed to say sorry so much she just wouldnt have it..she said I creeped her out and now everyday I live with heartache and regret because of one drunkin night..I regret it so much and I still love her with all my heart and she hates me with a passion. It just hurts so bad to know I threw away the best thing that ever happend to me in an instant..I treated her so well she was the light of my world, everything to me..I called her a bad name just one time..and I guess thats all it took.

One night it was so bad I felt like killing myself because I couldnt handle the regret. The pain is so great..right when I start to feel better I hear a song..or simply see something that brings back a memory of her and it starts all over. I thought id give her time to herself and just respect her wishes and leave her alone..give her time to think. I emailed her recently asking how she was and nothings changed, she has forgotten me and I still love her. Every moment is utter pain..its like right when my heart starts to scab over something rips it right off again. I just wish she could understand how sorry I am and how badly I feel. I would do anything in the world to have her back, but I know its not meant to be. I want to move on..I want to forget her like she forgot me..its so bad that ive become miserable. Does anyone know what im going through? Has anyone experianced this or am I going crazy? I would appreciate what anyone has to say and I would respect it if anyone could relate to this somehow. I just need to know im not goin coo coo here. Thank you everyone for reading this. Please share if you have gone through something like this so I can know this wont last forever. Thank you everyone!!!

Ok... You're not going to like what I have to say but even though I'm sorry you're in pain, I just can't disregard the pattern I see in what you've written.

First you brake up with her = You regret it
Then you tell her you don't want to be her friend = You regret it
Then you call her an awful name = You regret it

Everyone makes mistakes, especially in relationships. The important thing is to learn from them and avoid making the same mistakes in the future.

[Dragonfly1234]

Hey everyone. Im in the dumps yet again. I turned 20 last month and right now things in my life are horrible, nothings going the way I want..it seems like all I get is the negative end of things, nothing but bad news in my life really, I was on myspace and got an invite from a friend of my ex's he was nice and he lives in a differnt state than me and my ex so I thought it would be ok. Which was very stupid of me. I looked at his profile and saw comments from my ex to him and she seems like things are going perfect for her, and it just bugs me because things for me arent good at all..not just with getting over her but my life in general right now is just crappy. I guess its true misery loves company. I feel like im stuck in time and im not going forward..the things my ex said to me are starting to make me think that they are all true..I feel like putting that message up here to show to all of you I really dont care. I just feel very alone because in my life I have no one to talk to about any of this..they say live in the now..not the past or future but the now, and when I do that I push back all the negative until I finally realize its still there and it just overwhelmes me, I dont know if this has to do with her...I kind of think it does..or if im just in a real crappy point in life right now..I dont know how to make any sense of it all.

You need to stimulate some endorphin production. Do you work out? If not, I would suggest doing some sort of physical activity, it will help you. Also, what kind of hobbies do you have? How do you occupy your time? Do something self rewarding like volunteer work, or anything that will make you feel better about yourself. Take a step further in stimulating your recovery. It won't make all worries disappear but it will start the healing process.