[xoxaprilwine]

I'm happy, it is just my personality. I'm an extrovert. I flirt with old and young, man and woman. Not, kids of course...I flirt with my best friend! I still flirt with my husband, it is so ingrained in my nature that there is no use in changing it. I'm not hurting anybody.

That's great... good for you... if you ever flirted with me or my husband I would probably knock the teeth out of your mouth :)... besides this isn't you or about you and evidently the writer of the post is in distress... and isn't OK with it!

[Dragonfly1234]

Flirting+crush+flirting with the crush and a little dash of 'you don't exist'... Not good. I say Keep your eyes open...

Also, I may be totally off here but it almost seems as though she took it a little too well when you raised the issue. I'm a flirt for the same reasons JB and others stated, and my husband doesn't feel threatened by that but every so often I'll be nice to someone he doesn't necessarily like too much (we're into racing, lots of competition) and he'll raise the issue as flirting. Now, because I don't feel I'm crossing any boundaries or doing anything remotely close to suggesting he shouldn't trust me, I listen to what he has to say and I don't make a big deal about it BUT I do stand my ground. The fact that she is VERY understanding seems a little fishy to me but who knows, I could be wrong.

[talaniman]

Comments on this post

xoxaprilwine disagrees: Intuition is one of the most strongest senses a human can have...common people reference to gut instinct but it is actually called intuition

Either learn to use the site, and play by the rules, or quit posting. Disagreements are for factually wrong, or dangerous advice, but when it comes to opinion, yours is no better than any others. Read the rules, please.

[NItEMArE129]

Haha, OK, I realize I am constantly updating and changing the issue, but me and my girlfriend talk as much as we can everyday and we try to bring up issues if they're bothering us. So today I found out that she uses flirting to deal with stress (and believe me, she has an unbelievably stressful life!) and she says that she likes to flirt with me if I'm there, but it just so happens that this particular guy is around her more often than I am sometimes. So, is it time to just trust her and let the issue drop? Or should I do something else?

[spyderglass]

Well seeing as the two of you are communicating about the problem... I would let the issue drop. But if it still bothers you maybe you could ask her to try to cut back a little.

[candybaby9]

I've been with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years. He is a libra so he's just naturally flirty, he doesn't mean it, that's just how he comes off, so I know what you are talking about. I couldn't deal with it so I let him know every time he said something that he didn't like, we had a lot of fights and long convos and I stressed a lot but he's very honest and eventually I changed him and now he's so much better. So if she is really someone that you want to be with, you can change her and she should want to make you happy and change if what she is doing offends you and really bothers you. A lot of people say you should change someone, you should just like them how they are, but I don't believe that, to a point. You can't tell her you don't like the way she dresses or something like that because that's not right, but something like flirting too much is something that is okay to change. And if she doesn't change, don't give up. Unless you want to. Good luck!

[talaniman]

I think its great your communicating your feelings. That's half the battle. Keep it up, and learn some foot massage techniques, for the stress.

[NItEMArE129]

Haha unfortunately she's not comfortable with massages. I tried to give her a back rub before (which I am very good at) and she just didn't feel comfortable with it. =\

[candy abi]

This mite be who she is. Ill consider myself to be very flirty but I try not to esp if my boyfriend is around I don't want to disrespect him in anywa but I think flirting is dangerous and you need to let her know there is a line that shouldn't be crossed because there are consequences. Seriously if you are not comfortable wit it talk to her about it let her know exactly where you stand

[NItEMArE129]

Ok, now, this isn't a problem of mine. I actually just got out of a relationship that I pushed with interesting results. The best one, I think, is that even though the girl I thought I was in love with (I'm not sure anymore because yes I am still young) broke up with, but I feel nothing yet. No sadness, no tears, no anything. Now, I understand that this was just a little bit ago, (a few hours) but still, I expected something at least. So here's my question: What do you guys think would be a situation where you should push a relationship? I don't actually want advice for my current situation, though a little side comment would be much appreciated =]. What I really want to know is, how do you guys define a relationship worth fighting for?

[jaime90]

A relationship worth fighting for, would be one where you know you are sincerely committed to each other- that you would easily spend your life with that person- one where you know that you can encourage each other through the tough stuff- where you can be positve that your relationship could withstand anything and everything.
My side comment- you didn't really love this girl as much as you thought you did.

[NItEMArE129]

haha I love to say it we're back together =] one night of being single just didn't work out

[JBeaucaire]

No offense, but when the other shoe drops, remember we're still here to listen and provide a shoulder.

[NItEMArE129]

Haha I know but still, I'd like to ask. When would you guys push a failing relationship?

[NItEMArE129]

Threads merged

My girlfriend has extremely low self-esteem, and I honestly have no clue about how to boost it. Does anybody know of anything that will help? And first off, I want to drive off the "just compliment her" route, because that doesn't seem to be working for me. What I really want to know is if that's the best/only route, or if there are other effective means.

[Bural21]

I used to have beyond low self esteem, and I have finally realized, I'm not ugly. My boyfriend of over a year and a half is such a sweetheart. He is the one who got me over it. He would tell me how gorgeous I am, and if I showed up to see him in something cute, he'd tell me how adorable I looked. Also, the thing that helped me the most was when I lost my virginity to him. Before we did anything, he stopped and said "Baby girl, you're the most beautiful thing ever." I'll never forget that moment. Compliments truly are helpful in a girls self esteem. Just out of curiosity, does she have an anxiety disorder she isn't aware of? When I found out I did have an anxiety disorder, I started going to therapy and taking medication, which may help a little. But, compliments are an easy route. I truly don't know how else to help her feel better. Text messages, whispers in the ear, anything... and remember to compliment the little things, "The way your hair looks when it's flipped like that is stunning.", or "Please don't wear make-up, you're too beautiful to spoil that face." Simple little things really mean the most to a girl... I hope I could help you.

[NItEMArE129]

Well she has clinical depression.

[Bural21]

This may contribute to the poor self esteem. Don't over do it, but try your hardest to keep a smile on her face. Give her compliments on little things. (Hair, earring, necklace, make-up, etc.) Those things truly do matter.

[NItEMArE129]

and I forgot to thank you! Haha yes you helped me a lot =]

[Bural21]

You're very welcome! :) Take good care of her. ;)