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talaniman · May 31, 2008, 12:43 PM

Listen to bigbird as he is so right. Even though you know it isn't forever you got use to the guy being around for so long, and you cared. So now that its over, your whole soul has to adjust to the changes. Give yourself a chance to heal, by not being in contact with him, in any fashion, or form, no text,Facebook, none of that, and the emotional dust will settle, and it will get better. I know you have read the stickies haven't you? Please take the suggestions, and learn to cope with the pain. It won't last forever, unless you let it. Sorry for your loss.

damaged · May 31, 2008, 12:53 PM

Thx guys.. ur the best.. Im glad I can always talk to you ( every time I do, I feel so much better) :)
<3 you all

bigbird213 · May 31, 2008, 01:21 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Please take the suggestions, and learn to cope with the pain.

The best part about learning to cope with the pain is that it is a lesson you will use over and over again throughout your life. Not only in relationships, but all aspects of life. Learning to survive a loss is a crucial life lesson.

starlite1 · May 31, 2008, 03:19 PM

Hi Damaged,

I am so sorry that you are so upset. I know exactly how you feel and what you are going through. I think you are doing the right thing by not responding. I know it's hard, but you are definatley doing the right thing. I am sending you a great big hug!! Please know all of us are here for you, and if ever you want to chit chat, send me a pm, okay?

Karen

Sikativ · May 31, 2008, 03:24 PM

We are definitely here for you damaged, just as you are there for me.

Just us humans looking out for each other with nothing to gain except the knowledge of experience..

-Sik

damaged · May 31, 2008, 05:12 PM

Thanks for everything.. but I'm having the worst day of my life... I know its my fault but I just can't help it.. I don't feel like doing anything...
Guys I wasn't like this before... I want to get back to my old self but I just can't... it hurts too much:(

debbiew1984 · Jun 1, 2008, 03:48 AM

I know I have said this before but it is time, I am feeling the same as you, I spend most days laying around or sleeping thinking of him, when I do go out I a thinking of him. Only difference between me and you is that I want mine back but deep down I know I won't get him.

It's a killer, just want that time to be here now.

If you need a chat I'm always here to listen xxx

bigbird213 · Jun 1, 2008, 08:32 AM

Originally Posted by debbiew1984

i know i have said this b4 but it is time, i am feeling the same as you, i spend most days laying around or sleeping thinking of him, when i do go out i a thinking of him. only difference between me and you is that i want mine back but deep down i know i wont get him.

Debbie,

I hate to say this, but do you try to keep yourself busy?

I don't mean offense by this, but it almost seems as if you allow yourself to sit home and think about it. After 3.5 months it seems you should be beyond sitting around thinking about him. That is almost 100 days of NC!

Perhaps you need to try to change up your daily routine. It might help you to stop thinking about him so much if you make changes in your own life...

Just a suggestion...

debbiew1984 · Jun 1, 2008, 08:45 AM

Your right bigbird, I do need to keep myself busy, I love this man so much I just want him back. He doesn't seem to be taking the break up well either as he looks a mess and has let himself go. But no matter how I feel I will not break my NC!

bigbird213 · Jun 1, 2008, 08:47 AM

You have a great attitude for NC, just try to keep yourself busy so that you don't think about him as much and slowly it will all fade.

debbiew1984 · Jun 1, 2008, 09:22 AM

The way I look at it he said he wanted space I have given him it, and the one time I bumped into him he respected me more it.

So I will continue my NC no matter how hard it is.

talaniman · Jun 1, 2008, 10:35 AM

So I will continue my NC no matter how hard it is.

That's the right attitude, and you'll get the benefits of your decision.

damaged · Jun 1, 2008, 10:55 AM

NC the best thing to do!. hard but necessary :/

debbiew1984 · Jun 1, 2008, 11:04 AM

How u feeling today damaged?

damaged · Jun 1, 2008, 11:11 AM

Few hrs ago I wasn't feel that good.. but I've been watching tv(lol) and I'm feeling a lot better... still have my moments when I get sad... but I guess that's part of the process.. well enough talking.. lol

How about you debbie?. hows your day been so far?

debbiew1984 · Jun 1, 2008, 11:13 AM

I just been moping about feeling sorry for myself, but I'm feeling a bit better at the moment. I'm up and down all the time keep checking my stupid phone.

We will get there in time! X

Sikativ · Jun 1, 2008, 11:16 AM

Lol my phone is connected to my email so its going off a lot when you guys reply due to the subscribe thread feature of the site.

I've gotten so used to it now that if it goes off, its you guys and not her... which atm, Id prefer (if she wants NC, She's Going to GET IT! )

:)
-Sik

debbiew1984 · Jun 1, 2008, 11:21 AM

Lol, I would still think its him if I had that!

I think with me at the moment I just think he was asking about me Friday night was in a place where he knew my family would be but was scared. So there must be something there still to ask

But then I think he wanted to come back then pulled out of meeting me to sort things out so I'm all confussed with the situation

But 3.5 months isn't that long really if he does just want space just wish he would hurry and snap out of it!

talaniman · Jun 1, 2008, 11:28 AM

but 3.5 months isn't that long really if he does just want space just wish he would hurry and snap out of it!

Its much to long for waiting for the fool to change his mind.

debbiew1984 · Jun 1, 2008, 11:29 AM

I am waiting and I'm not at the same time, its very hard to just move on and forget.