[boredINmind]

I agree, either you need to educate your guy about how men vs. women orgasm differently and how difficult it can be for some so maybe he will understand or you two should get counciling!

[KalFour]

KP... I've got to say... that sounds damn tasty! Can I join you and Synn?

[Slow-Motion]

the first time a lover fingered herself while i was making love to her was a bit odd... i didnt quite know how to take it. was it compension for something i was doing poorly? was it she was so driven to reach orgasm that she lost all inhibitions? was it failure on my part or success? desperation on her part or control and desire?

if there is one thing i have learned over the years, it is that there is no one size fits all.

any person who tells you its all in your head is clueless and ignorant, confined by their own circumstances, insecurities, and regrets of years past.

yes... a womans biggest errogenous zone can be her mind. and yes, i think the better you use it to be the prime controller of your sexuality, the better... ive known partners from top to bottom. known their likes, dislikes, what makes then shake from pleasure and what makes them smack me upside the head from irritation. the mind is most important, but not all there is to good sex, as some women need very different stim than others.

a mans body responds mostly from some version of "push, pull, repeat"... not too complicated, tho id like a little ear and neck action if i get a choice. hands on the waist and chest are bonus points. "trap" your arms behind mine and im in the zone.

a womans body can be sooo different from one woman to the next, and even day to day with the same woman. its not a defect. its just the reality.

i dated a girl i could not get off orally. never. never. never. never.

now, i state this cause im pretty proud of my mouth. i think i can do a lot more with a wet, lush tongue than i can with an erect penis. its just my opinion. but that said, i dated a girl who just couldnt respond well to oral.

was her mind getting in the way? probably.

is using a vibe a "crutch" to get through what you can't seem to achieve "naturally"? sure.

but you know what?... i like to run my hands across a womans chest during sex. i like to wrap my hands around her neck from time to time. i like to feel her nails across my unit and i like to have her teeth and tongue at my ear.

all of these things amp up my excitement.

so you self stim.

its ok.

if hes not ok with it, talk to him about the anatomy. take positions that give you more control.

and honestly, if my partner uses her vibe during sex, it gives me extra pleasure by accidental contact anyway. bonus.

When I first got with him, I explained that I like to use a vibrator while having sex, he acted weird but never said no. One day while we were having sex I asked if I could get it... he answered "yeah, whatever" then he just laid there, I thought " MAN" I asked him what was wrong and he said "go a head do your thing its not like i need to do anything..."

I then tried to explain to him that I needed the vibrator, and he flipped out. He told me that he guesses that I just won't need him.

Also the only positions he wants to be in is girl on top... but he does everything. Is that about...