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Ash123 · Jul 18, 2008, 07:28 PM

I would assume that he misses your friendship, and feels guilty. I think a talk is not the worst thing in the world, but if you are healing I would not do anything right now if you feel vulnerable. He needs to work harder anyway since he caused you upset and I'd ignore it for now... unless you think it would help you to get answers and you can take it.

brightside02 · Jul 18, 2008, 08:46 PM

Thanks Ash. I think I am more confused about this situation than I have been in my entire life! It really is a Catch-22. No, meeting for a meal wouldn't be the end of the world. Like I posted earlier, I've been trying to have a more positive outlook on life. So I am willing to forgive him for the hurt he has caused me. I know that he wasn't doing the things he did because he didn't care. He really just does not have much experience with relationships and is shy and very non-confrontational. So who knows what was going through his mind. He was never outwardly cruel or mean to me. Its just that ignoring me was equally as painful as if he had been just plain meant to me!

Let the powers that be help me in my upcoming days of constant confusion!

talaniman · Jul 19, 2008, 09:56 AM

For whatever reason, be it inexperience, or personality clash, you have to know it didn't work, and you were incompatible, and unwilling to work together. If you feel, seeing if it will work again, at the cost of your moving on, then by all means, do what is most important to you.

I don't think this meeting will end confusion, but cause more, but its your choice to make. Just don't meet up because of false hope, or the high expectations, of renewing a failed relationship.

Good luck, whatever you choose.

brightside02 · Jul 22, 2008, 04:56 PM

Thanks to all of you that have posted and given me your insight on this situation. I've decided to meet with him and see what he has to say. Curiosity killed the cat :p I'm going into it knowing what to expect from either end of the spectrum and everything in between. We could get along great and have a nice meal together. Or we could just end up reenacting our breakup and it will be hurtful (as stupid as that would be on his part to get together to do that). But at least I will know. Maybe I'm naïve or something but if I broke up with someone and didn't want them in my life anymore, I don't think I would contact them to get together! I just don't get it.

Anyway, I'll keep you posted on what happens. I'm kind of nervous actually! If anyone has been in this situation I would love to hear what you said, what he/she said and how it turned out. Keep in mind I am the dumpee in this situation :rolleyes:

pinkberry8 · Apr 26, 2009, 08:30 PM

I am in a similar situation. I thought there was nothing wrong with the relationship as well and was in shock when he left. I made a huge mistake of putting him on a pedestal and not seeing things for what they truly were. Everyone heals at a different rate. It's been about 8 months of NC for me and honestly I don't think time really heals anything unless you change your thinking process. If you want the healing process to be faster don't contact him. I know it hurts and there might days where you will feel tempted to do so but in the end it will only affect you and keep you from moving forward.