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talaniman · Feb 24, 2006, 06:37 PM

Lets be honest no one wants to be rejected by some one we love so much.Accept the fact that they don't love you as much as you love them. Love yourself enough to heal from this experience and get on with life.The more time you spend on what was, the harder is to figure what's next. Rule no.1 If they want to leave, let them, Ride off into the sunset and don't look back!:cool:

talaniman · Feb 24, 2006, 06:40 PM

This rule applies to gays, straights, old, young blind cripple or crazy from 8 to 80:cool:

Chery · Feb 25, 2006, 03:36 PM

Dear Pauline, IMO - this young lady knew what she wanted and was not being truthful with you. She sounds very selfish, and maybe she'll change in due time and grow up - but until then it might take a long time and it will be a total waste of your valuable time and energy to wait for her to stop playing games with people's emotions.

I'm sure that you will find other girls that are more mature and will respect you the way you deserve. This way you don't need to nursemaid anyone who is unsure about themselves or is using others until they figure out what is important in their lives.

Go out and meet new people, take up hobbies, and forget about her because as I said before - you deserve better.
Good luck, dear, and please keep us posted. We are here 24/7 to help you further if you need us - and the more people you meet now, the less pain you'll go through.

Of course it hurts, and those reminders will fade after a 'mourning' period - then you'll gain strength and go on. We all go through this, and know how you feel, but remember - you'd probably be very unhappy with her around now, since you realize what she's turned into - a user - and you don't want that.

Wildcat21 · Feb 26, 2006, 01:25 PM

Yes, as Chery says, I think you were there too much for her... It sounds like you smothered her in the end. Made her your world - when you do all this - they run, always. You need to give people space... when you feel your interest level is too high for the other person... back off and give them a chnace to catch up to your interest level.

blueiman · Feb 27, 2006, 10:15 AM

Originally Posted by Wildcat21

yes, as Chery says, I think you were there too much for her...It sounds like you smothered her in the end. Made her your world - when you do all this - they run, always. You need to give people space....when you feel your interest level is too high forthe other person.....back off and give them a chnace to catch up to your interest level.

Yes, agree with what wildcat says here. Back off if you start pushing her away. And she will come back. Do not smother people. Nobody likes a person who is way to into the other. Not good. Back off!

Wildcat21 · Feb 27, 2006, 11:37 AM

It's so important. #1 reason people run from relationships - even friendships.

Wildcat21 · Feb 27, 2006, 11:43 AM

"nobody likes a person who is way to into the other." - great quote. I've been there on both ends... I DON'T like being in either situation - liking someone too much or being liked way too much. It's not a good position to be in.

lillypyh · Mar 1, 2006, 04:21 PM

hey guys,
I just wanted to say hello. And that I have started hanging out with this new woman I met. And she seems really nice and sweet. And even though my friends say that she is just a distraction, I got to say, I am enjoying this distraction. I haven't heard from my ex in about a week. And to be honest, I don't even care if she calls. If she does, I will prob just hang up. If she doesn't, then great. Because it seems like every time I talk to her, I get all tense and mad. So hey, just wanted to let you guys know, that I am moving on. And am much happier now than I have been in months. Thank you for all the kind words. And if there is any more drama in my life, I will let you know. =)
pauline

Wildcat21 · Mar 1, 2006, 04:27 PM

Go slow with this one. No pedestals. No clingy/needy. No contact 5 times a day.

Remember - people want what they can't have - be unavailable some times. End dates early - phone calls first.

lillypyh · Mar 1, 2006, 04:41 PM

Thanks for the tips. And believe me, I am not putting anyone on a pedestal. And I am doing my best to just remember to tell myself to calm down. And take things slow. But thank you for reminding me to do so.

lillypyh · Mar 14, 2006, 02:35 PM

Hi folks,
Well, here I am again. I wanted to update you guys on what was happening. Well, I am still seeing this new girl. And she seems pretty nice. And yes, I am trying to take things slow with her. But she just told me something interesting. She told me a few days ago, that she just got out of a serious relationship as well. One month ago! And I have been talking to her for about 3 weeks now. Now, I know that I just got out of a serious relationship. But that was almost 4 months ago. And I am still hurting from it. So what do you guys think about her dating me after getting out of a relationship a month ago? And it's the same thing as my ex. She has only dated guys. And her ex is a guy. And so what does that make me? The rebound? The "new thing" to try out? I just don't know what to make of it. For now, I am just going to keep having fun with her. And see where it goes from there.
On a side note, it has been about 3 weeks since I last spoke to my ex. And to be honest, I like it. I don't want to speak to her. And I think if I did talk to her, I would prob just insult her. Because right now, it seems like she could care less about me. And I don't need that in my life, right?
Well, we'll talk to you guys soon. Thanks for reading.
Pauline

Wildcat21 · Mar 14, 2006, 02:53 PM

Definitely could be a rebound. Be careful. 1 month isn't very long.

Interesting though she is hanging with you.

Good for you not talking with your ex. The longer you go - the more power you gain back.

kandy · Mar 15, 2006, 11:16 AM

You should move on it will be hard but you have to

lillypyh · Apr 12, 2006, 08:47 AM

Hi guys,
Well, just wanted to give you an update. I still have not heard anything from my ex. Which has been really nice, and not in a way. Its been nice that I don't get all emotional on the phone with her. But yet, I am still wondering how she is doing. And wondering, why she hasn't called me. Someone told me, well why don't you call her? And I just say that I don't want to. But more, I want her to call me, to show that she actually does give a damn about me. But I don't know.
I am still dating the girl I was talking about before. Things are going well. But I can't help but feel like I am not myself, because of this whole thing with my ex. She, on the other hand, is still friends with her ex. And her ex found about us through her best friend. And if any of you could tell me WHY her best friend would tell the ex about us, that would be great. Because to me, it sounds like she just wanted to hurt him by telling him about us. And now, this best friend feels she needs to have a break from my girlfriend. Because she can't "handle" what my girlfriend is doing. Wow huh? I know there are close minded people out there. But I would hope that if your best friend chooses a road in life, that you would accept it. I guess not.
I drove by my ex's house last night. She lives with her parents. And to my surprise, they have put their house up for sale. They have been there forever. And now they're selling. Why do I care about this? I wish I knew. Maybe you guys can help me.
Thanks for reading. Hope you're all doing well.
Pauline