[bizygurl]

Hey bluestar, We all make mistakes. We all have told a little white lie or two. Don't be so hard on yourself, you defenitly seem very sorry about it and you are aware that it was wrong, seems as though your boyfriend knows how sorry you are.

A trust has been broken and like with anything time will be the only thing that will heal that. There isn't going to be anything immediate that you can do to gain his trust back. But over the course of time I'm sure it will.

Although this was a petty thing to lie about he may be thinking if you lied about something as petty as this and there really was no reason to lie, what other things could you have lied about?
You did the right thing in apologizing and trying to make it right with him. But it will take time to get his trust back, just hang in there.

[blustar8i8]

I talked to him tonight. Things went pretty well. I asked him how he was and he said he was doing well, working a lot. He's been doing a lot with his race car. Didn't seem to be bothered too much by the whole thing, so I'm going on with my life. Keep doing things for me and try not to worry about him. Sometimes are really hard , but what break up is easy. He didn't seem like he missed me all that much. Of course I didn't lead on that I missed him eiather. I feel a little better knowing that we can talk on a friendly level and he doesn't hate me. Its going to be weird seeing him at the races every Saturday night. And if he's there with another girl, I'm sure will make my stomach turn. But I guess I shouldn't worry about things like that. It's a good three months away and a lot can happen between now and then. Maybe I'll have a new beau. HA! I don't know. I'm feeling a lot better! I'm going to be fine! I've been through worse. If he couldn't see me for the person that I really am and realize that I made a mistake and thinks that I would do something to hurt him then its his loss. I learned from it. No reason never to not be honest with your b/f or g/f. if they can't except you for the truth and your decisoins then it wasn't worth it. I understand that now and I'm happy. ;) thank you all for giving me stories and your opinions. I don't think I could have gone through all the emotions alone to deal with myself. I needed to hear what others though tof the cituation and I really learned a lot. Ill be around again I'm sure, with another question and maybe some advice to try to help someone else out.

[bizygurl]

Im sorry you guys broke it off, that's unfortunate. But hey at least you have learned from this expirence. We all have to go through these types of situations in order to learn something, now you know for next time.

[DJ 'H']

Seriously, you and this guy was not meant to be. I am sure you will continue to have a good long friendship and if anything, out of the 4months you gained a friend, so you did not lose out completely.

When I was 17yrs old I wnet out with a guy. We ended up splitting up much for the same reason, I had been diagnosed with depression and needed to get myself back together and get some direction in life. The relationship was not working, even though we had a great time together.

I am almost 22yrs now and this guy is my best friend. Wenever did get back together, but we share a bond, that no one else will ever break or have. Even if I don't see him for a few months, when we meet it's like we were never apart. We know each other inside out and will be there for each other until the day we die. He also very good friends with my boyfriend Pete and I am becoming good friends with his Fiancé. So things always work out for the best.

Keep your chin up and if you ever feel down, just come onto the site and we will cheer you up and offer you the best advice we can.

We have all been there and done that at some point or another.

I wish you well xx :)

[Wildcat21]

I'd give it a couple months. Don't contact him. By keeping the communication open he knows he still has you. You never made him miss you. Leave him alone and see what happens. Absence makes the heart grow founder. Work on yourslef.

[blustar8i8]

I saw my couselor today. It felt good to see her and talk. She said I do need to work on me for a while but to try and talk to him again to see if we couldn't work something out. ii talked to him for about 30 minutes after he got off work. He's not ready, and I don't blame him. I'm going to go on. I keep saying that but its really hard. But I have to do it. Hopefully he will see that I'm making an effort to do things for me for once. He said he could tell that I was trying and he said that he admired it but its going to take longer then a couple of days for him to want to get back together. I really ruined a good thing and it hurts soooo bad. But I can only beat myself up so much. I can't dwell on it anymore. Time will tell. If its meant to be it will be. There isn't anything I can say or do that's going to change his mind and make him forgive me. He has to find it himself. I hope he does.ill give it a while before I talk to him again. Catch him by surprise one day.

[DJ 'H']

That's the right attitude. Just get on with your life and be content with yourself. Once you are content with yourself and your life you will be on the right path. And if it's meant to be, it will be.

Good luck and if you need to talk at any time, about anything don't forget that I and many others, Chery, Bizygurl Etc are all her for you.

Keep smiling!!

Xx :)

[Wildcat21]

I think your counselous is VERY worng. You keep contacting ghim and pushing farther away - that's how it works. You're coming across as desperate and needy to him.

I think you made critical mistake call him AGAIN and bringing up the relationship. It doesn't work that way.

[blustar8i8]

Hmmn he called me that day after he got off work wildcat21. We had a good talk and that's all. I'm not going down the path of desperation to talk to him. I'm not contacting him anymore. I'm doing good. I saw a girl I went to high school with today. I hadn't seen her in a good three years. We talked and she just went through a really nasty break up with her boyfriend of two years.we had a good talk. It was refreshing to talk to someone that is going through the whole being dumped cituation. I think I'm doing really well. I looked at an apartment today. And I talked to my mom about it and she said she would help me out with things I needed when I decide its time to go. I'm constantly sending off reumes. Got me sassy little outfit today! Hee he hee! I don't need him to be in my life. I'm a big girl I can make it on my own. I've done it before. I'm not going to lie, it hurts and I think about it everyday and I miss him terribly. But I can't let it stop me from going on about my day. I was reaing a book the other day and it really gave me some inspiration: " i will meet life's challenges with a spirit of determination. i will cope with stresses, controlling what i can, and letting go of worry over stresses that i can not control. i will seek support whenever i need it. i will recieve support greatfully and give it generously. i will live today well, remembering the lessons and happiness of yesterday, and believing in the promises and hope of tomorrow."

[Wildcat21]

GOOD FOR YOU HUN!! I am glad. I know you can do it.

Give us all shout if anything comes up.

I bet if you leave that guy alone and improve your life - he just may come back - and then you Won't want him.

What I am saying is you don't need him to be happy.

[DJ 'H']

That's right. You can be happy on your own. I was happy on my own in the end. Happy with my life, with my friends and family. My life started to move forward and Pete appeared. He makes me really happy. But if he disappeared tomorrow - of course I would be upset, but I am happy with everything else in my life, so I would have the strenth to stay on my feet and keep going. There is not one moment when I am sat in doing nothing and dwelling. I have so much to do and so many places to be and people to see. I have to make windows of time for Pete (which I do with no hesitation) but my point is, if he decided he did not want to be with me, then I would just fill the time I make for him, with more DJing, going out with friends, travelling etc, not sit in, mope, dwell and hope he calls. At least then when/if he did call I would have so much to chat about and not once would I even think to mention the relationship.- no matter what happens, I know that I will not be on my own forever and who ever I am meant to be with, I with be with when the time is right. For now I just live for the moment. :)

[blustar8i8]

Alrite so I have an update! I got a job today! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY! I'm so happy! Today could not have gone any better. He called me yesterday. I talked to him for about and hour. We had a really good conversation. Then this morning I got a call for an interview for a dr.'s office right down the street! I got it! And I called him to tell him we talked again for a while then I ended up at his house. It was so amazing! I had a really nice time. He did too. I talked to him when I got home and I told him everything that was on my mind. He told me I think too much. He told me to let things just be. Just go with the flow. I'm good with that. I'm in a really good place right now. I'm so happy that I have a freakin job!! Like 90% of my worries are out the window :) I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow or a month from now but I've had nothing but good faith in myself and things are falling into place. It feels really good.

[DJ 'H']

alrite so i have an update! i got a job today! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!! im so happy! today could not have gone any better. he called me yesterday. i talked to him for about and hour. we had a really good conversation. then this morning i got a call for an interview for a dr.'s office right down the street! i got it! and i called him to tell him we talked again for a while then i ended up at his house. it was so amazing! i had a really nice time. he did too. i talked to him when i got home and i told him everything that was on my mind. he told me i think too much. he told me to let things just be. just go with the flow. im good with that. im in a really good place right now. im so happy that i have a freakin job!!!! like 90% of my worries are out the window :) i dont know whats going to happen tomorrow or a month from now but ive had nothing but good faith in myself and things are falling into place. it feels really good.

Nice one! I am really happy for you. Your life seems to be going in the right direction. Things always work themselves out in the end!! Keep smiling and keep up the posistive thinking.