[Shorty87]

To me virgin is not a meaningless term. I'm very proud to be a virgin and it has meaning to me. A lot of people I know respect me for it. Some even wish that they had the will power that I do. And if it is a term that "classifies" then fine. Put me in a group! I would love to join!

In response to the question... I wouldn't think of her any different. I would say that no she is not really a virgin but I can see that she wouldn't count that as having sex. I wouldn't call it sex either. I would call it the highest form of disrespect of a woman's body.

Call me wonder woman. Call me dumb. Call me crazy. Call me nerd. Call me cool. Call me chicken. Call me loser. Call me virgin. Call me anything you want. Just DON'T call me for sex until you call me your WIFE. I WILL WHEN I DO!

[Jennifer Purdy]

Hmmm, you know, it never occurs to me to ask if a _guy_ I'm dating is a virgin or not. Interesting question as to why it is such a big deal in our society that women be virgins, while men may "sow their wild oats." I guess it's just another way of putting women in their place... society expects us to be desirable, and yet we'd better tread that line well between being desirable (and then "deserving to be raped" because of how we dressed/acted) and being virginal.
I was raped as a virgin, so all these hang-ups affected me and still do. But it has given me new insight into how women are marginalized in our society.
If I'm interested in a guy, I won't care if he is inexperienced or not, whether I'm "the first" (we women are actually never socialized to see this as being something big, as it is for men who "deflower" a woman), or not.

[Fr_Chuck]

What was that line from a move " Of course I am a virgin, why do you guys always ask that each time"

[rodandy12]

To answer the questions:

How would you react to this?

I would feel sympathy for her, but I would probably try to be a little more sure of my feelings for her... she might be handing me a line.

And in what ways would you think different about her than before?

The virgin/no virgin issue is no big deal. I talked to a friend and she pointed out that she considered a woman's virginity the best thing a woman has to offer a man. Most women are darn careful who they give it to... or at least they used to be.

And do you think a girl can be a virgin even if she got raped?

As far as I'm concerned, although technically inaccurate, the person is still a virgin. She hasn't willingly given anything and if you were drugged, you probably don't even remember it.

One more question, is virginity a turn-on for most guys?

It is like the cartoon where the devil is talking into one ear and an angel is talking in the other. The notion of being the recipient of that gift I mentioned is appealing, but it bears an awful lot of responsibility. We always remembers our first time. There is some pressure (responsibility?) to do it right. On the flip side, I always had more fun with women who knew more than I did about sex.

[streptococci]

Imagine you met a 21yr old girl you started to like. After a few weeks she tells you she's a virgin, then she tells you she got raped (while she got drugged) a few years ago and this is partly the reason why she haven't had sex yet. How would you react to this? And in what ways would you think different about her than before?

And do you think a girl can be a virgin even if she got raped?

One more question, is virginity a turn-on for most guys?

I believe that she wouldn't be a virgin, hard to say because she was raped. But still, she has had sexual intercourse. I am a virgin myself, but if I were to, I'd rather have sex with a virgin! Maybe because they don't have any experience too, so we are both on the same level.

[smoothy]

I actually dated a couple women that were victims of rape... one was a virgin before that event. My thoughts?

No she obviously wasn't a virgin, I knew it, she knew it, but in the grand scheme of things it really didn't matter because she was who she was, and she was honest about it.

I've known virgins that were so self important and so stuck up I really didn't want to touch them, And I've known women that obviously weren't that were the most open genuine people I knew. They were far more appealing at every level.

I didn't marry them over unrelated issues that came up, but their state of virginity or not had zero to do with their appeal. That was 100% personality.

[Jamiefemale79]

Imagine you met a 21yr old girl you started to like. After a few weeks she tells you she's a virgin, then she tells you she got raped (while she got drugged) a few years ago and this is partly the reason why she haven't had sex yet. How would you react to this? And in what ways would you think different about her than before?

And do you think a girl can be a virgin even if she got raped?

One more question, is virginity a turn-on for most guys?

No she's not a virgin. Sorry about her circumstances that is hard to deal with but I think what she is telling you is that she has never made love to anyone. Virginity is over rated espcially for the women. My first time was uncomfortable and awkward and I was glad to get rid of it. Losing your virginity to someone you love is awesome. If she is offering herself to you know feel fortunate she wants to share the act (as her first true sexual experience) of making love with you. She has opened up to you so don't hurt her make her feel loved and beautiful. Rape is not sex it is a violation and brutal don't ever confuse sex and rape because they aren't even close.

[princessdiana28]

A common misconception about the hymen is that it is inside the vagina. It is actually a mucous membrane that is part of the vulva, the external genital organs. It is formed from a layer of tissue that develops in the early stages of fetal development when there is no opening in the vagina at all. This thin layer of tissue conceals the vagina but usually divides incompletely prior to birth, forming the hymen.

Sometimes this formation of an opening does not occur and results in a hymen that lacks the more common opening. Some females have no hymen at birth at all, since the tissue divided completely while they were still in the womb. The size and shape of this opening (or openings) varies greatly from person to person.

The hymen is also not an indicator of virginity. The tissues of the vulva are generally very thin and delicate prior to puberty, so many girls and teens tear or dilate their hymen while participating in sports like bicycling, horseback riding, gymnastics or while inserting tampons. A girl may not even know this has occurred, since there may be little or no blood or pain involved when this happens. Remnants of the hymen are usually still present until a woman delivers a baby vaginally.

[Synnen]

This thread is a YEAR old.

Closed.