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friend4u178 · Nov 19, 2007, 06:38 PM

Originally Posted by schwartzyms

its so hard no to talk to her, she tells me she loves me, but i feel as if im being ignored

They all say "I love you" And look I'm sure she cares for you a lot , BUT she has made her decision , respect that and let her go. If she really "loves you" she will come back. But don't put your life on hold waiting for her. If she knows you will always be there for her it just makes it easier for her to explore other avenues , which is what she is doing.

schwartzyms · Nov 19, 2007, 06:51 PM

Thanks a lot for your help, I'm so broken up over this I can't even eat, I shove the food down my throat do because I refuse to starve myself, I miss everything we ever did together... also, what do you mean by avenues?

schwartzyms · Nov 19, 2007, 06:55 PM

She also said that she is undecided over who she wants to be with, do you know anything I might be able to do/say to win her back?

friend4u178 · Nov 19, 2007, 06:58 PM

Originally Posted by schwartzyms

thanks alot for your help, im so broken up over this i can't even eat, i shove the food down my throat do because i refuse to starve myself, i miss everything we ever did together.....also, what do u mean by avenues?

Listen , don't beat yourself up about it , what your feeling is perfectly normal when someone breaks up with you. Read all the other posts on this forum and you will see you are not alone.

Time is a great healer , and anytime your feeling down just get on here and vent. There are always people willing to listen and give you advice. Important thing for you is YOU , just remember that. So don't worry about what she is doing or what she is thinking , concentrate on yourself.

Go out and be with friends etc. and before you know it you will be on the road to recovery. But that won't happen until you LET GO.

friend4u178 · Nov 19, 2007, 07:00 PM

Originally Posted by schwartzyms

She also said that she is undecided over who she wants to be with, do you know anything i might be able to do/say to win her back?

If she wanted to be with you she would be , don't push her that is the best advice I can give you. If she knows you aren't hanging about waiting for her she may just miss you.

schwartzyms · Nov 19, 2007, 07:01 PM

The thing is I'm really not waiting around, of course I want her back but I'm also going out and living my life, and I'm not pushing her, I told her to do what she feels is right and to take her time and that's there's no one rushing her

friend4u178 · Nov 19, 2007, 07:04 PM

Originally Posted by schwartzyms

the thing is im really not waiting around, of course i want her back but im also going out and living my life, and im not pushing her, i told her to do what she feels is right and to take her time and thats theres no one rushing her

GOOD!! You are doing the right thing then. It is now up to her. Out of your hands.

schwartzyms · Nov 19, 2007, 07:08 PM

Ok, thanks again for your advice and for your help. You're a great person for helping people like this.

Thanks

friend4u178 · Nov 19, 2007, 07:10 PM

Originally Posted by schwartzyms

Ok, thanks again for your advice and for your help. your a great person for helping people like this.

Thanks

My pleasure , and I hope it all works out good for you. Keep us posted.
Or if your having a bad day just come on and vent. You'd be surprised how much it helps :-)

schwartzyms · Nov 19, 2007, 07:11 PM

Thanks again

madaman · Nov 19, 2007, 07:23 PM

How I envy you and the fact it was only 2 months with this girl. I have a similar story, but we were almost a year and she left me for someone else. She said all the 'im not sure what I want' and also said she thought she wanted to come back to me, but alas. We lived together as well so man did it suck (and still sucks 3+ months later).

Find comfort in the fact that you will be able to get over her, and more quick than most of the people posting here. There is no way you actually 'knew' this girl after only 2 months of dating, and she is showing her true side now.

schwartzyms · Nov 19, 2007, 07:28 PM

We may have only dated for 2 months but we have been friends for 4 years

Matteus · Nov 20, 2007, 01:27 AM

Originally Posted by schwartzyms

She also said that she is undecided over who she wants to be with, do you know anything i might be able to do/say to win her back?

Best way to help her make her decision, is disappearing. We usually want back what we have lost.

Matteus · Nov 20, 2007, 01:32 AM

Originally Posted by schwartzyms

we may have only dated for 2 months but we have been friends for 4 years

you were friends for 4 years, and it seems like the friendship worked better, don't you think so? I can imagine, you forgot the part "friends too" in the relation, and you went into it too seriously and a little bit more dependent on her. Now, what is a relation at all? Is a more deeper friendship, + the element intimacy. But the base is the friendship. And that's how should have reacted in the relation. Friendship, romance, intimacy, fun=relation.

schwartzyms · Nov 20, 2007, 12:38 PM

The thing is that I want to be more than "just friends" with her. I really care about her.

Matteus · Nov 20, 2007, 12:49 PM

Originally Posted by schwartzyms

the thing is that I want to be more than "just friends" with her. I really care about her.

The thing is that you are not used to lose and you are feeling lonely. Yes, you care, we all care about someone, even about our friends. And you can care of her, also as a friend, a really good friend. Why don't you accept it?

madaman · Nov 20, 2007, 01:28 PM

You might have to accept the fact that she doesn't want anything more than friendship with you. Do you want to risk losing that to push the dating? Because you will lose the friendship (if its not gone already). It could also make it 10x more awkward if you have mutual friends.

As nice as it would be, you can't make someone like you or want to be with you. Your initial question was for advice on how to move on and get over the breakup, but it really doesn't seem like that is your goal.

schwartzyms · Nov 20, 2007, 02:26 PM

My goal was to get back together, then to move on, then to get back together, but now its to move on, I'm done waiting for her to make her decision so I'm just going to accept the fact that were just going to be friends like you guys said I should.

Matteus · Nov 20, 2007, 02:52 PM

Originally Posted by schwartzyms

my goal was to get back together, then to move on, then to get back together, but now its to move on, im done waiting for her to make her decision so im just going to accept the fact that were just gonna be friends like you guys said i should.

I can guarantee you are going to be friends with her, because you still have some hopes, you can make it work. YOU can't make it work, whatever you do. Try to tell yourself this! You can do nothing, but take care of yourself. If she will be free someday, and in the same time have some crushes on you (here is your part of helping her to got the crushes), she may come to you. Otherwise, it will be like that, friends. Can you deal with it ? Being friends, but without false hopes ? I tell you a little story of mine. Yes, it may happen, but depends. Before 7 years I told a girl-friend of mine, my hidden feelings toward her, but in somehow I knew it won't work, as it was LDR and there were not so much ways of contact. Anyway, it didn't worked out, but we still remained friendly, and after I came back we spoke to each other. 1 year went by, and now was her turn. She began to like me, but in the same time was her turn to go out of town. Anyway, its another story that. Out of sudden, she even sent me a message one night (after 4 years my proposition), telling me she liked me and so on... booooo. Anyway, we came in relation, but in somehow it was not meant to be. Anyway. I was just saying that yes, it may work, but it depends on them, not you. They go, and they come, you just can't do nothgin but move on with your own life.

schwartzyms · Nov 20, 2007, 02:55 PM

Yea I understand now, cause this relationship was a LDR also