[NowWhat]

Yeah, women can change. They can decide that they don't want to be punching bags anymore. They can decide that they are worth more.
The abuse has to stop. And I don't think the abuser will get help until he loses everything.

[JoeCanada76]

The only way many people learn is by hitting rock bottom. A lot of the time or should I say most of the time that is how people learn and grow and change as well.

Losing everything is hitting rock bottom is the answer in many cases. This is one of them.

[bushg]

Originally Posted by zozobean
I'm 27 I've been married for amout three years. I have 2 children with him. I love my children, but I'm miserable. Once we got married he totally changed. He lies all the time. He physically, and emotionally abuses me. I don't know what to do. I did not finish high school, and I really regret that. I still do not even have my license, and I do not have a job, because I have to take care of my babies. I also do not have any family or friends that can help me. My husband has total control over my life, and he loves that. I always say I'm going to leave, but he knows I can't. I'm stuck. And I'm really depressed. There is also some very bad things about him that worry me.but I just don't think I should mention them. Is there any thing I can do? I really need some advice.
ZoZObean You get out get help for your children and yourself. You can not help him. You are not even going into full details online and you know it it is so much worse than what you are saying. Of course you do not want to tell everything that the sicko has done to you and your kids and don't say he is a good dad. Good dads do not treat the mamma like crap and expect her to be a happy successful mommy 10 minutes after he has beaten, cursed, emotionally abused, sexually manipulated etc... He does not have to hit your kids to abuse them, he can do a fine job through you. Get the hell out of there. There are many places that you can go. Is it home? No. But with a womans group they will get you all of the help you need from counseling, clothes, toys, day care if needed, a place to live (you will automatically become homeless and there is tons of low income housing, that are not dumps.) I can tell you that you will go to the top of the list for housing. Most shelters keep the women for 30 days but they have been known to extend the stay (quite often) They will let you stay there as long as you follow the rules and try to help yourself. They will get help you on state aid untill you can do better, you will get food stamps and medical care for you and your children. they will help you get enrolled in ged school, some in my area have classes on location. A whole new independent life awaits you all you have to do is to decide to leave and make the necessary phone calls. Will it be a piece of cake hell No! But getting the $hit knocked out of you and to be expected to put on a smile afterward is not easy either. He has shown you that he does not deserve you. You definitely do not deserve someone like him. No woman does. Make a call to the phone # that NowWhat gave you call, 911 they have to get you to a safe place if you request it . Call this number 1-800-799-7233 or look up your local domestic violence group. Good luck and I hope you find the courage to help yourself and your children. May peace be with you.

[DaRkJokeR]

I must admit... hitting rock bottom does make people change (usually). If you leave, he will definitely hit it. If he gets better, well, then its up to you. I hope the for you and I will pray for you who ever you are. God bless.