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    tawnynkids's Avatar
    tawnynkids Posts: 622, Reputation: 111
    Senior Member
     
    #21

    May 11, 2007, 11:29 AM
    No, no J_9 not disagreeing with you or think you are a cruel mother at all. You have very good points.

    "You see, when children act like this, if they are not sick or injured, sometimes it is because of OVERSTIMULATION.

    When you take child into their room and tell them that they can come out when they are in a better mood, it is quieting them, quieting their mind and removing the OVERSTIMULATION that they are being subjected to.

    My only objection would be to say "when you are in a better mood" which I am sure you simply mean when you are calmer- your motives are fine. My concern is for those parents that say "go away until your bad mood is gone so I don't have to deal with it at all".

    You see, when the child goes in their room they don't have to sit on the bed or lay down, but can play with their toys and lower their stimulation threshold if you will."

    My comments are in reference to those parents who are trying to stiffle their children's negative feelings not manage them as you are. They don't necessarily have to be right in front of you, as you point out, to be in a safe place to calm down.

    There is more than one way to accomplish giving a child the means to bring themselves back into control.

    My comments are for the parent that sends the wrong message to their child in doing this. Not to you.
    curlybenswife's Avatar
    curlybenswife Posts: 2,477, Reputation: 267
    Ultra Member
     
    #22

    May 11, 2007, 12:27 PM
    You know what, millie screams out of pure frustration for not being able to tell me exactly what she wants and she is 19 months old I try to help her if she carries on and goes in to a full on screaming session then I walk away give her 5 minutes by witch time she has forgotten what ever it was she was screaming about and is doing something else.

    It's a full time job being a parent and no one in this world can say its easy we just do the best we can and I have to admit if millie has a bad day so do I because its frustrating more than anything we just live and learn and if by asking a question like this we get a few varied opinions you read them and take what you feel is right for you and your child from it no one here is saying anyone's bad but there's no harm in a little tough love it is character building and very much needed there is no way I'm going to let millie grow into a spoilt brat there are enough of them in this world as it.
    NowWhat's Avatar
    NowWhat Posts: 1,634, Reputation: 264
    Ultra Member
     
    #23

    May 11, 2007, 02:42 PM
    J9, I don't disagree with you at all. I think that sometimes sending a kid to their room is needed. We actually have tried that with ours. Most of the time - it didn't work with us. But, that is not to say it is bad advice. Every kid is different and you have to find what works. And for us, it was the crying corner.

    Although, as she gets older and doesn't pitch fits like a toddler would, sending her to her room might work more than the crying corner.

    I think you just have to find what works for you and your child.
    startover22's Avatar
    startover22 Posts: 2,758, Reputation: 363
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    #24

    May 11, 2007, 05:23 PM
    I didn't yell at all today at the kids, and it was a stressful day. I love what you guys are saying on this post, I am definitely going to follow. Oh, J_9 your picture sure is a cute one. I just asked my oldest son to find me a new one. Hope you all are well. Let the kids play and laugh, they are sweet that way.

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