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LostAndConfused1 · May 14, 2010, 02:59 PM

Does anyone have a suggestion that could help me get over this break up, because my ego went way down, as she left me for a younger guy... I'm 21 she's 2 years younger than me... And I could really use a pick-me-up, and get me through this...

talaniman · May 14, 2010, 03:15 PM

You should be out with friends doing what 21 year olds do, and having a great time.

88sunflower · May 14, 2010, 03:59 PM

You will get over this. She is only 19? Then these are just games to her. She left you for someone even younger? Well you need to say good riddance and move on. They are acting like the children they are. Take this time and have fun. She is not mature enough to understand and give you the relationship you wanted from her.

Ash123 · May 14, 2010, 04:08 PM

Dude, you are so young, you have no idea.
Here's what you do.

1) REMEMBER THIS: You are 100% done with her.
2) She is a MESS
3) She is a MESS
4) She is a MESS
5) What were you going to do marry this mess?
6) NO you were not
7) Get a calendar and mark off 90 days. I bet you won't need them all.
8) Get rid of her phone #, her Facebook, her IM, her email, her twitter.
9) Do not hang out with her friends
10) Hang out with your friends. Congratulations. You are becoming a man!
One day you can give advice too!

LostAndConfused1 · May 15, 2010, 01:27 PM

Thanks everyone, I'm going to go out and enjoy myself from now on. I feel good actually like I'm free and all the stress is lifted off my shoulder, I deserve to be happy, why should I mope around at home when she's screwing another guy, I can have fun too. :)

roxypox · May 15, 2010, 01:39 PM

Originally Posted by LostAndConfused1

Thanks, this has been a terrible week for me, Its going to be hard but I know I have to let her go, the problem is she keeps calling, and leaving me messages on facebook, and I told her we are over, and she doesn't get the hint, and she said she left the other guy, but I know for a fact shes lying...

Didn't you block her on Facebook?

Block her! And if she uses other peoples accounts to contact you, block them too... for now at least (the other people, she should stay blocked for a while hon!)

BTW I'm happy that you have the "I need to get her out of my life" attitude in place! That is a really good place to start! Hold onto that feeling!

BUT
I'm glad that you're feel good at the moment! You should, you're young, you're free... THIS is the TIME to ENJOY LIFE! So go enjoy! :) Have fun with friends!

Ash123 · May 17, 2010, 10:23 AM

Note: When a partner cheats is it EVER forgivable? Well, if you abuse them, ignore them, bully them, cheat on them, they can do whatever they want and you are not fit to be in a relationship anyway. If they cheat because their heart made them, or alcohol made them, or a bad decision made them, or being young made them... RUNNNNN. What else will they do and have an excuse for? Small favors in life come all the time, it's just are we willing to LISTEN and SUCCEED? Dysfunctional people cannot. They get stuck and make excuses and never see why things don't turn out how they planned. Don't be one of them. Walk on. You have much to do...

LostAndConfused1 · May 17, 2010, 05:42 PM

Well I had a great weekend, I went out with my friends, and had a great time, until I come back and find out that she emailed me through my personal email... Grr, she's seriously pissing me off, and the worst thing is she said she almost died yesterday from her wreckless behavior and her friend told me something else.. why would she lie after were not even together, I told her to leave me alone awhile ago and she also said she won't stop contacting me I don't know what her problem is... I actually had fun for the first time in a while, and she has to ruin it by a personal email, she was under another name on it too, because I blocked her... God, why won't she leave me alone...

talaniman · May 17, 2010, 06:00 PM

She screwed up big time, and is miserable. So she figures you should be also, even if she has to make it so.

I think your strong enough, and angry enough to call and confront her and put her in your place.

Seeing something's about her you never saw before, eh? No face to face, under any circumstances, not even with witnesses.

Hope you don't need a cop!!

Cat1864 · May 17, 2010, 06:00 PM

How well does your spam filter work?

Ignore any emails from accounts that you don't know. If you don't open them you can't know who they are from and subject lines are great places for 'hackers' to lie about who they are.

I am glad you are doing better and had fun. Don't let her or anyone else drag you back down. :)

Ash123 · May 17, 2010, 08:56 PM

Originally Posted by LostAndConfused1

Well I had a great weekend, I went out with my friends, and had a great time, until I come back and find out that she emailed me through my personal email... Grr, shes seriously pissing me off, and the worst thing is she said she almost died yesterday from her wreckless behavior and her friend told me something else... , why would she lie after were not even together, I told her to leave me alone awhile ago and she also said she wont stop contacting me I don't know what her problem is... I actually had fun for the first time in a while, and she has to ruin it by a personal email, she was under another name on it too, because I blocked her... God, why won't she leave me alone...

Don't panic. You can block her and her new name. Just to end your miserable spiral... re-read my list. She has issues. This is a repeating pattern GUARANTEED: Love, retreat, cheat, return, beg forgiveness. The fact it she likely does not realize it (unless she gets professional help.) My guess is she came from a home with a lot of drama and she is repeating it.

Don't freak out. She is melting down. Just quietly protect your email and yourself. She will try again. And until she finds a guy to make her feel good about herself she is dangerous because she is VERY needy.

Stop by here if need help. Hang in there. This is not over... Sorry.

LostAndConfused1 · May 18, 2010, 04:50 PM

Thanks, and yes your right she has major family troubles, her parents didn't treat her right when she was younger... I guess she just has a lot issues, but it isn't my job anymore to fix them, she needs to get help... I need to move on with my life.

Originally Posted by Ash123

Don't panic. You can block her and her new name. Just to end your miserable spiral....re-read my list. She has issues. This is a repeating pattern GUARANTEED: Love, retreat, cheat, return, beg forgiveness. The fact it she likely does not realize it (unless she gets professional help.) My guess is she came from a home with a lot of drama and she is repeating it.

Don't freak out. She is melting down. Just quietly protect your email and yourself. She will try again. And until she finds a guy to make her feel good about herself she is dangerous because she is VERY needy.

Stop by here if need help. Hang in there. This is not over...Sorry.

88sunflower · May 19, 2010, 06:07 AM

Stay strong. Keep avoiding her at all costs. What do you use your email for exactly? Is it too much of a bother to open a new one? If so do not open any emails that you do not recognize. Simple as that.

Do not let her tell you she did something dangerous or stupid. If she did, that was her choice. Not yours. That's her way of reaching out to you and hoping you break and take her back. Hoping she reaches that soft spot you had for always protecting her. If she is that crazy to live a wreckless life in hopes of getting you back then be thankful your on the road to a new life without her.

LostAndConfused1 · Jun 1, 2010, 02:37 PM

So, I haven't updated this post in a while, I just wanted to give you a little update, she still tries to contact me by texts on different cell numbers... but I just push delete and ignore her, my life has been so stress-free, except I didn't hear from her in a while until yesterday, memorial day... Now I've been really in a good mood, but I just wish she'd just not contact me by texts, saying how much she loves me, and how much it hurts her how I'm not replying, now I'm just hitting delete on this texts, but still I just wish she'd leave me alone for good, because I don't want to go backwards, I'm trying to improve my life, and have fun, and each time she texts its like I go back to square one, maybe I should just change my number, I don't know... Anyhow just wanted to give you an update on how things were going.

Ash123 · Jun 1, 2010, 05:12 PM

Ok, man, here's the plan:

1. change your phone
2. block her emails

I know this seems harsh BUT she will NEVER make you happy. EVER. So do it now or regret it later... she is sort of harassing you.

The other thing to do if you cannot do the above is to text her back one time and say this: I am asking you nicely and with all respect, please be a good friend and stop texting me. It will be best for both of us. Thanks! But that is not a guaranteed solution, since she will text again...
But NEVER be a victim and feel powerless. Take the power my man. Life is too short to be her text tool...