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57373 · Jul 3, 2009, 10:42 AM

No if I was your ex I wouldn't care,if she has half a brain she would know you had more history with your previous ex and I (assume) she was your first love,you don't just forget that.

Now if you had been obsessing about an ex you dated a week over 3 years... then yeah... she has every right to lable you an idiot.

jmjoseph · Jul 3, 2009, 10:43 AM

If she's your ex, she shouldn't be looking through your stuff. She broke up with you. I think you should move to pasture #3, regardless of what shade of green the grass is, you should find happiness regardless. The world is full of possibilties, don't get bogged down. Good luck.

anewday · Jul 3, 2009, 11:30 AM

It is a bit bizarre that she'd be looking through your web history. You were together for 3 years though, so she's probably a bit confused and wondering what you've been "up to". If you're moving on fast, already seeing someone else, etc.

She did break up with you originally though, and this just gives her more reason to justify that break.

I wish · Jul 3, 2009, 11:35 AM

Originally Posted by xadmin

The grass is not greener on the other side. It's just different (and in my case, less green on the other side).

That line already tells me that you should not be reconciling with her. I suggest that you let her go. It's going to take a lot of work for you to regain her trust and you don't even seem that interested in her, otherwise you wouldn't have said that.

Moving forward, you've got two options:

1) If your ex is who you want, then try to reconcile with her. BUT unless you guys can fix the problems that made you break up in the first place, don't bother opening up old wounds.

2) Realize that you broke up with both girls for a reason and move on with your life. No more looking back. No more wondering if you made the right decision on breaking up or not trying harder to fix things. It's done. Learn from your mistakes and move forward.

Either way, stop living in the past, live in the present and focus on the future.

I wish · Jul 3, 2009, 11:37 AM

Originally Posted by anewday

It is a bit bizarre that she'd be looking through your web history.

Good observation. It sounds like the relationship was in trouble before she even found out about the forum post. It sounds like the trust was beginning to deteriorate and finding the post was just the last straw for her to break up with him.

talaniman · Jul 3, 2009, 12:03 PM

Is it a good thing that she saw my posting and my true feeling or will this posting be another reason and tool for her to justify why it is right for her to break up with me?

Seems that's the way she took it, another reason to break up, but that's what she was looking for any way. Its good you know how she reacts, and even better to know your honest feelings, she doesn't measure up to your other ex.

Your mistake the way I see it, is trying to reconcile with someone who doesn't measure up, which sounds like your settling for less, and letting your ex find out the truth the way she did. Dude, you never let a female snoop when you know good, and well you have stuff you didn't want her to see.

Thats like leaving another females underwear where they can be found.

Of course she is mad, now what??

xadmin · Jul 3, 2009, 12:06 PM

Originally Posted by I wish

Good observation. It sounds like the relationship was in trouble before she even found out about the forum post. It sounds like the trust was beginning to deteriorate and finding the post was just the last straw for her to break up with him.

No, she broke up with my for two months already (April) and just yesterday looked through my web history to see what I have been up to and she found that I posted here regarding the whether the grass is greener on the other side.

Noticed that my thread was merged

xadmin · Jul 3, 2009, 12:16 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Seems thats the way she took it, another reason to break up, but thats what she was looking for any way. Its good you know how she reacts, and even better to know your honest feelings, she doesn't measure up to your other ex.

Your mistake the way I see it, is trying to reconcile with someone who doesn't measure up, which sounds like your settling for less, and letting your ex find out the truth the way she did. Dude, you never let a female snoop when you know good, and well you have stuff you didn't want her to see.

Thats like leaving another females underwear where they can be found.

Of course she is mad, now what???

Well I didn't have anything to hide really. I was just posting a response on here to another topic someone came up with regarding if the grass was greener on the other side and offered my own personal view. To this note, I didn't think somebody would snoop through my computer because she broke up with me for 2 months already, but I still haven't let go. Maybe she hasn't either or is just confused and that is why she still look through my computer to see what I was doing. Well she found out what I said about the greener grass with my first GF of 5 years and now she played the victim saying that in all these years dating my 2nd GF, I didn't appreciate her and still think of my first GF as greener grass.

So I don't know the fact that my 2nd ex-GF of 3 years saw this message by going through my history that it is a good thing or bad thing. I mean we end the relationship without violence or saying hurtful things to each other (but I am still not quite over her), so I don't want to add more bad experience to our ending and this greener grass message might not be appropriate for her to see?

talaniman · Jul 3, 2009, 01:27 PM

She had no business snooping through your computer history, in the first place, It was done intentionally to find something.

You ready to let go yet, and give up this insane notion of friends, or whatever you think your doing??

If your not, you will run your head into the same brick wall again.

sully123 · Jul 3, 2009, 03:13 PM

I agree with Tal, move on. She had no business looking through your computer. Go back to medical school and leave her in the dust. IT sounds like you have a lot to offer a person from within yourself. Go back to your medical school and believe me you will find someone out there, who will appreciate you. Good luck.

xadmin · Jul 3, 2009, 03:49 PM

I am currently focusing on myself and try to better myself. I feel hurt that things gotten like this.

s_cianci · Jul 3, 2009, 03:54 PM

Click your heels and walk away.

xadmin · Jul 3, 2009, 04:53 PM

Originally Posted by s_cianci

Click your heels and walk away.

How do you handle the hurt that she is with other guys?

anewday · Jul 4, 2009, 10:13 AM

Originally Posted by xadmin

How do you handle the hurt that she is with other guys?

Tear yourself apart. Think of everything that they're doing.
To quote "High Fidelity": 'You are as abandoned and noisy as any character in a porn film, Laura. You are Ian's plaything, responding to his touch with shrieks of orgasmic delight. No woman in the history of the world is having better sex than sex you are having with Ian... in my head. '
Then realise that you did those things with her. Probably better too. That you'll do those same things (if not better) with other people. That you did similar things with people before her. Yes, they're coveting her body, but you're already a hundred steps ahead of them. Because she broke up with you, you've probably analysed her more than she's ever done in her entire life.

xadmin · Jul 4, 2009, 10:51 AM

Originally Posted by anewday

Tear yourself apart. Think of everything that they're doing.
To quote "High Fidelity": 'You are as abandoned and noisy as any character in a porn film, Laura. You are Ian's plaything, responding to his touch with shrieks of orgasmic delight. No woman in the history of the world is having better sex than sex you are having with Ian... in my head. '
Then realise that you did those things with her. Probably better too. That you'll do those same things (if not better) with other people. That you did similar things with people before her. Yes, they're coveting her body, but you're already a hundred steps ahead of them. Because she broke up with you, you've probably analysed her more than she's ever done in her entire life.

You know, it hurts so bad, but I do think it is time for me to move on.

jmjoseph · Jul 4, 2009, 11:04 AM

Originally Posted by xadmin

How do you handle the hurt that she is with other guys?

It takes time , always has, always will. Try to remember all the strange habits, selfish ways, basically all the bad things that you've mentioned. As far as her with other guys, just be glad that it's not you putting up with all those things. Let her ruin someone else's life. Wash your hands of her ( yes that was a pun). Now go out and meet yourself a nice, normal girl, and be happy in your life. Good luck to you.

xadmin · Jul 4, 2009, 11:11 AM

Originally Posted by jmjoseph

It takes time , always has, always will. Try to remember all the strange habits, selfish ways, basically all the bad things that you've mentioned. As far as her with other guys, just be glad that it's not you putting up with all those things. Let her ruin someone else's life. Wash your hands of her ( yes that was a pun). Now go out and meet yourself a nice, normal girl, and be happy in your life. Good luck to you.

Thank you for your advice. It still hurts when things are like this with her and I.

xadmin · Jul 27, 2009, 01:13 AM

Gosh guys, I am a wreak here. I still can't get over my EX. I don't know what to do.

It seems she is not fit for me, but somehow I am just so attached and couldn't accept the thought that someone would dump me that I still latch on to her hoping that we might reconcile.

I need to love myself and learn to move on and be alone, but I am really having problem doing this. Any help would be appreciated.

kctiger · Jul 27, 2009, 07:20 AM

Originally Posted by xadmin

Gosh guys, I am a wreak here. I still can't get over my EX. I don't know what to do.

It seems she is not fit for me, but somehow I am just so attached and couldn't accept the thought that someone would dump me that I still latch on to her hoping that we might reconcile.

I need to love myself and learn to move on and be alone, but I am really having problem doing this. Any help would be appreciated.

You just HAVE to do it... move on, build a new life. It is really liberating once you accept, and I mean ACCEPT that this is over forever. That is the hardest part, so once that is done, you are on your way.

Write a list of things down and accomplish some goals that you thought you never would have achieved. Make each day count man! Seriously, you are free to do whatever you want, so find out what makes YOU happy as a person, and go for it.