Check out some similar questions!

nickshehe · Mar 19, 2008, 03:03 PM

Great.. thumbs up

ihatewestseneca · Mar 19, 2008, 03:32 PM

Try to move on as best you can... my ex is going through the same sort of "exploration" phase as well. Its been almost 3 months of NC and I'm doing great, I actually really like being single again after 2 years with this girl. I mean, our relationship was amazing, but I got too wrapped up in her... being single has really been quite beneficial, I feel like I don't need anyone and I'm really happy about it.

I did see my ex today though, and I agreed to meet up with her later today... now this may be a bad move, but I think I'm pretty much over her as I don't have knots in my stomach about seeing her later... I'm not expecting anything at all - no hope here! - nor do I really want her back, I enjoy my freedom now.

Anyway... stay on the NC trail nickshehe... it's really the best way to get over her... as much as it sucks now.

nickshehe · Mar 19, 2008, 04:06 PM

I called her.. she said she doesn't want me in her life again and never to bother her again
I called her and she has her phone off
And I called her friend and she was about to hand the phone to her but she hung up and closed the phone..
Is going on this makes no sense whatsoever

ihatewestseneca · Mar 19, 2008, 04:21 PM

Originally Posted by nickshehe

I called her..she said she doesnt want me in her life again and never to bother her again
I called her and she has her phone off
and I called her friend and she was about to hand the phone to her but she hung up and closed the phone..
is going on this makes no sense whatsoever

As harsh as that was, there you have it, now this may have been hard to handle but at least you won't kid yourself into thinking that she'll come back... calling was a bad move, its only going to push her further away... and it has... time to get serious and move on.

nickshehe · Mar 20, 2008, 02:52 AM

I want to thank you all for trying to help out..
I'm a bit out of it atm and I feel like this whole ordeal is really surreal.. how I could make love with someone last week but now its so easy for that same person to be so cruel to me.. then again I guess its better she didn't let me down easy it wouldve taken me longer to get back on my feet..
I'm so confused right now I can't think straight.. anyway
Take care of yourselves

shuang1705 · Mar 20, 2008, 03:30 AM

Originally Posted by nickshehe

I wanna thank you all for trying to help out..
im a bit out of it atm and I feel like this whole ordeal is really surreal..how I could make love with someone last week but now its so easy for that same person to be so cruel to me..then again I guess its better she didnt let me down easy it wouldve taken me longer to get back on my feet..
im so confused right now I can't think straight..anyway
take care of yourselves

I understand as much as you'd like to try to reason it out, the truth of the matter is no matter what reason you get, the fact it goes against what you desire will prevent you from accepting it. I was exactly where you're at 1.5 months ago, so my memory of your feelings are still very fresh, but really, take it as it is, don't rack your brain thinking why why why, plan on how you're going to move on no matter how hard it feels, and things will get better for you one day sooner or later. If you try researching online, which is what I did, you'll find many other articles, not just us telling you the right thing to do is spend some time apart and not appear clingy or needy. Best of luck :)

nickshehe · Mar 20, 2008, 03:22 PM

During our fight last night I told her I cheated on her before I told her to off...
Realising that was a dumb move I later sent her a message retracting my comments..
The theory behind doing so was so she never comes back if she has the urge so I can know its over and therefore not worry as much.. Its obviously worse to know that its over than to have hope but having hope is far too emotionally draining as Ive found out in a previous relationship..
It just kills me to know she's having the time of her life now.. and it's the same girl that "loved me" so much 2 weeks ago...
How immature and stupid..
That goes for me too.

shuang1705 · Mar 20, 2008, 03:45 PM

All the best advice in the world does no good if they're not taken :) Well, it's good you found a way to resolve your issues :)

Redakins · Dec 7, 2010, 11:10 AM

I read some of the answers on here and I have an issue with them. I am the female in a relationship where we are doing the engulfment/ abandonment dance but I am not the engulfer. ( Many times it is not the woman.) My husband is. And I sounds like you are too. He is always trying to prove me wrong as it makes him feel smart and good about himself but it makes me feel like he thinks I am stupid and he wants to argue with me all the time. I can never do enough, not good enough, not smart enough, not hard working enough, not caring enough. I think I know how your girlfriend feels. And the more you try to hold on to her the more suffocated she will feel and try to get away. Jealousy is human nature, but being jealous of her friends will only get you dumped. I left my husband once before because he wanted me to choose between my friends and him. I love him with all of my heart but I was terribly frightened of being smothered and not having the freedom to be who I am and do what I want for the rest of my life. It sounds like you need to work on yout self worth and love yourself before you can have a healthy, secure relationship. Good luck to you.