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SAB123 · Feb 12, 2009, 10:33 AM

Originally Posted by kctiger

Well, I believe you are thinking about this all wrong. Think of it as a business deal, and nothing else. Here is how the conversation goes:

You: "Hey, I want my boob back!"
Her: "What, are you crazy? You can't have it!"
You: "Well then, I will be over every other Friday at 6pm for a visitation with Mickey."
Her: "Who is Mickey?"
You: "It is what I named my bood, that is currently on your body. Please have Mickey ready for Daddy when I get there."

End of the deal...do work son.

LOL... HHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAA that's funny!

SAB123 · Feb 12, 2009, 10:43 AM

kctiger, thanks for writing that, that shows me that I have totally moved on.

DJ28 · Feb 12, 2009, 09:59 PM

So remind me to never go out and get drinks again while I'm down. I swear I feel so down right now and I know it all has to do with me going and drinking. I don't have any urge to contact the ex but man the memory's are flowing in like crazy and making me sad, and lonely. Even though the fact I was out with friends this happened. I don't think I can drink for a while now, not tell I know I'm totally over her. I mean I had a pretty good day today, now I feel really down and lonely, like I feel no one wants me, I hate it.

kctiger · Feb 13, 2009, 05:02 AM

You will get there my friend... sometimes alcohol can be a major downer, especially in a break up time. I am sure it doesn't help with Valentine's Day around the corner. Just takes some more time. Alcohol is funny. If you are down, it usually makes you more DOWN...

So... lesson learned. If you are already down, don't take another downer to make it worse. At least you didn't get drunk and contact your ex... imagine how much worse you would feel then.

jmw0713 · Feb 13, 2009, 07:01 AM

Those feeling will pass. You sound a lot like me. When I go out and drink, many times the next day I feel depressed. It's one of the symptoms of a hang over for some people.

If you do go out and drink, just don't drink as much. I try to limit myself to about 4-6 beers when I go out. The next day I usually feel fine.

The idea of going out to a bar is to get yourself out there with your friends and have fun. Obviously, the more you drink the sloppier you get. Just keep that in mind when you see a cute girl at the bar that you may want to talk to. Drunk is not attractive.

Just like KC said... at least you didn't contact the ex!!

DJ28 · Feb 16, 2009, 11:37 PM

Well a little update of what's going on, I feel 100% better then I have in the pat 2 weeks. I feel as I'm not thinking of her as much, still some but not as much. One thing I do catch myself doing is, checking my email to see if she has written me. Even though I check it just to be like Im not even going to write back even if she did write me. I don't know I'm just feeling good, I'm not getting any urge to want to even talk to her. Maybe because how much she hurt me and ho mad I am at her. She did email me the other day, I didn't even write her back so I feel good about that.

Let me tell you though, you sure do find out who your real friends are in the time of need. I mean I thought I had some shallow friends but some I see as just jerks now. I can't wait tell I start my summer classes and can meet some new people. I am very excited for that. I pretty excited right now for what the future hold really. Im thinking of this as a new beginning.

Also I find when I do think of her and it makes me down some, I make myself think of something else that's positive and I find that the bad feelings only last a few minutes.

So really just wanted to update saying all is well and feeling pretty good.

Also wanted to state, why in the world didn't I start NC a long time ago. I mean she was a jerk and mean to me, I can see that now and It kind of makes me mad that I held on so long.

MiSSsy111222 · Feb 17, 2009, 05:23 AM

That's good! Sounds like your moving on. I find that when I'm down and thinking of the EX music helps so much. I stick my iPod on and its helps me to feel strong.

Your right NC is the way to go, who needs mean jerks in their life?

Keep it up!

talaniman · Feb 17, 2009, 05:41 AM

Your learning now and that's good enough. Keep up the good work on yourself, as I bet the whole world looks different now that you can see it.

jmw0713 · Feb 17, 2009, 07:52 AM

Music helps pass those down feelings along. Listen to stuff that pumps you up and makes you feel good!

DJ28 · Feb 17, 2009, 10:28 PM

Man this sucks, I really feel like a mess right now. I mean I try to be as positive as possible with things right now in my life, but it is so hard right now. I mean lets see I have the person I love who I don't talk to anymore who I feel was my support when things were kind of nasty, and I needed someone to talk to. So I don't have her anymore, then I had to end the business I had because I wasn't making anything anymore, well actually that happened a while ago, so because of that I had to move back home and both of my sisters live there who honestly arnt positive people at all. My one sister I think is bipolar and she's 31 and acts like she is 12, and complains about everything. And then the other sister just acts like she does nothing wrong, and I tell you what the is far from the truth. Well they both like to gang up on me and act like I'm the worst person in the world and I do everything wrong. I mean it is so hard right now to stay positive right now, I'm trying to better myself and ignore all these negative things but man it is a pain. They tonight have made me feel so crappy and made me feel like I'm going no where in my life, I will be the first to admit I know I have some issues, but at least I'm working on them to better myself. I just feel like it doesn't matter how much I try or do its never good enough. Its just hard because my ex was always the person I would talk to about this, I mean she was really my only real/close friend. I have no one right now it seems to talk to. I guess I just need some help or advise on staying positive. Tonight I was almost ready to live in my car because I can't deal with it anymore, and have no where to go.

UnluckyDucky · Feb 17, 2009, 11:20 PM

Hang in there DJ. I was very much in a similar boat once and I can tell you there is a light at the end of the tunnel as long as you have faith that things will work out. Try to keep positive, I know its so tough for you right now but try your best. All of us here believe in you and know you can make it through this - believe in yourself too! Remember you're not alone, you'll always have us to talk to on here...

Let me share a little story with you. Back when I was 18, I got into this really bad fight with my dad. Long story short, he ended up kicking me out of the house over something extremely stupid and I basically had to live out of my car for almost two weeks. I honestly had no idea what I was going to do. I didn't even have a job at the time. Luckily one of my more caring uncle's reached out and gave me a hand. With his help, I was able to get a job fairly quickly and as luck would have it a friend let me rent out the spare bedroom until I could find something more permanent. Needless to say, that was one of the toughest times of my life not only because I had nowhere to go but I barely had enough money to scrape by. Had I given up, I know I wouldn't be where I am today.

Sometimes life likes to mess with us by making us go through some tough times and if we're strong enough to survive through them we end up appreciating everything we have so much more. Hang in there bud, it'll get better. Take one day at a time. We're all rooting for you. :)

DJ28 · Feb 17, 2009, 11:27 PM

Hey really thanks for the support ducky it means a lot to me, I know I need to stay positive and I'm trying the best I can. I know just taking a little break away from the situation helps too. I did go running after this whole big ordeal that happened and it did make me feel better. Honestly I can't wait tell I can get a steady job again to move out. It seems like everything has all come at once, so I guess that a little tough.

DJ28 · Feb 17, 2009, 11:32 PM

I guess another hard thing today is, well I don't want to speak with the ex anymore or anything but it is a little disappointing when you check your email everyday and there is no sign of her. And you kind of wonder why, like doesn't she miss me at all? But I guess in the end she probably has moved on totally, so I know I have to. It just kind of makes me mad at her, like why would you do this to me.

UnluckyDucky · Feb 17, 2009, 11:44 PM

Yeah, I went through those same emotions and thoughts. It made me question if the relationship that we shared meant anything at all to her. It is perfectly OK to feel and think this way, its part of the healing process. It took me awhile, but then I finally realized that at one point it did mean something to her but her feelings for me changed. She moved on before me and that's why she acted the way she did to me - and part of this realization helped me let go of those negative feelings.

And yes, I totally hear you on that life seems to love to pile everything on us at once! Life seems to just love to drop more and more anvils in our path just to see if we can get hit by them lol.

Just a little more about my story, it just so happens that one of the reasons of the argument with my dad was that I had received a near full scholarship for the first year of college, but after that year was up I couldn't afford to go because I didn't have the cash and he refused to co-sign on any loans for me so I was pretty much screwed.

You think I'd be rather bitter about life after something like that but I'm not! Indirectly it tought me to appreciate everything I have so much more. When I think back on it, it seems crazy how it all worked out for me. But hey, the way I see it is that these life experiences are what make us who we are, and I wouldn't trade them for anything.

XM8 · Feb 25, 2009, 12:02 PM

Just thought I'd pop in and see how you're doing DJ. Everything all right? How long has the NC been on for :-) ?

-Xm8

DJ28 · Feb 25, 2009, 02:21 PM

Originally Posted by XM8

Just thought I'd pop in and see how you're doing DJ. Everything alright? How long has the NC been on for :-) ?

-Xm8

Well I am feeling tons better, one thing is I'm still upset at her/ mad but whatever really. I'm feeling pretty good though, still working out everyday. NC has been hmmm like maybe 3 weeks now, I still though sometimes still catch myself looking at my mail to see if she has emailed me or anything.

jmw0713 · Feb 25, 2009, 07:02 PM

You're doin' great! Keep it up. Keep going to the gym, going out, and having fun.

XM8 · Feb 26, 2009, 02:49 AM

Haha glad to hear you're OK buddy. Working out is an awesome way to forget a chick, it also helps you to attract others :-D

Don't sweat if you check your e-mail or phone for messages from her, it's normal. After a while you'll realise yourself that you don't give a crap anymore but whatever, take your time bro.

KIR

-Xm8

DJ28 · Feb 28, 2009, 07:58 PM

Question for all you out there, did any of you get like so mad at your ex where you kind of wanted to see them and tell them how you felt? Like telling them how pissed you are almost wanting to yell I guess? I am just so mad at the ex that I just want to tell her how much I dislike her, I don't hate here but I dislike her with a passion. I know it wouldn't matter and I won't do it, but honestly I guess if she calls ever I want to tell her that I dislike her so much. I don't know I'm just mad today I guess, because I know she has moved on and is all happy and has prob forgot about me most likely and it just makes me mad to no end. Whatever though I am gettign better and I'm going to stick to NC.

UnluckyDucky · Mar 1, 2009, 01:11 AM

I've had similar thoughts but not to the point where I'd yell at her. What I did that helped me out tons though was write a letter addressed to her but with no intention of sending it. It helped me get my negative emotions out and I felt better after doing that so you might want to give it a try and see how you feel afterwards.

Feel free to do it here in a post if you want but don't send it to her OK? Doing something like this is for you and you alone.