[nicolaa]

My boyfriend - who I've lived with for 4 years now - is clearly addictted to weed and ciggaretts - he's only 24 and has been doing both non stop since he was about 11 or 12...

He thinks there is nothing wrong with someking pot and loves it, the only down side of it is that its affecting our finances... and he says he's going to quit for that reason until he finds himself at night with out anything to smoke - and goes and gets some anyway... a night doesn't go by without it and if we don't buy some, he ends up going to hang out with his friends (cuz they're always someking too)

I don't mind the smoke - I really don't. He's not the budget conscious type - and I am... if he has 20 bucks in his pocket - he'll spend it on weed with out thinking about dinner then I have to jump in and save the day... and that's what bothers me. If we had a nice bank account, I wouldn't be writing this. All and all, its just frustrating me - its pretty much hopeless to try to make it change - is this wirth a break up (btw way have a child together - so break up isn't always the best answer)

Also - a side question - I don't smoke ciggaretts, but he is in such a nasty mood sometimes... and I know I didn't do anything to provoke it - I think its when he doesn't have a ciggarette he gets like that and I hate it also - its not my fault he's addictted... how do I make him realize hopw much it affects me to take the blows for his issues

[pluckyflamingo]

Where do you see ourself in a few years? Because I don't think that should be your main concern. Just because he is "Only 24" does not mean anything. If he hasn't been mature enough to stop for you, finances or the child he probably isn't going to in the near future. Breaking up may not be the best answer but to keep your child away from him abusing drugs is. I hate to tell you one way of doing things because every guy handles things differently. I would at least let him know it bothers you 100% if you say things like "I don't mind the smoke - I really don't.) then he is not going to take you seriously. You are the woman of the house, and the mother of his child and you need to just tell him this is how it needs to be, if he cannot handle that, he defiantly cannot handle being a boy/friend/husband and father.

[J_9]

Hun, he doesn't have an expensive "habit" he has an addiction.

I have known many addicts in my life (including myself at one point in my life, but that's another story) and I can tell you that there are no wealthy addicts. It just doesn't happen.

Now, he will not stop unless and until he is ready. There is nothing you can say that will get him to stop.

It is unfortunate that many addicts lose what they love most before realizing that they have a problem.

[N0help4u]

You sound JUST like my daughter. She says she doesn't mind him smoking the weed as much as she does the drain on the money and his 'having' to go get it. I really don't want to tell her to dump him but I don't know if they are going to make it. She is having her first baby and he is getting a little more family oriented and cut down a little on the weed but it is an addiction like J_9 said. And like Pluckyflamingo said it may not be worth breaking up over at this point but keep your child away from it. I know many dads even as far back as the 70's who had their pre-teen son doing it right along with them.
The founder of Gateway Rehabilation Center says that the age that someone starts to smoke pot is the age that they stop growing emotionally and I think that is sooooo true.

[chukieanbride]

I totally agree with j-9, there is no stoping someone from breaking a habbit or addiction, it has to be from there own head an heart, I don't advise a split at all, but maybe a few times don't be there to save the day, when he has the munchies, send him out to his mothers, get yourself an you children fed