[crystal123098]

I told my boyfriend about 2 months ago that I'm pregnant, so both of us stopped partying and having any fun pretty much since then, we have sex less and less and my hormones are driving me crazy... I need sex and he won't even bother... and when we do its short, no foreplay, and I am unsatisfied. I'm open too everything so I know I'm not boring in bed at all! We used to have sex almost everyday but since he stopped partying I'm lucky if I get it once a week. I don't know if the pregnancy thing makes him unattracted to me ( even though he says it turns him on) or if he only liked me when I was "party girl". I'm always putty myself out there only for him to shut me down because he's "tired" or he falls asleep on me. I know I'm a fun and good looking girl so I don't know what the problem is... I think because he's never been in a relationship longer than ours ( 6 months) that he is bored and is only with me because I'm pregnant, what should I do??

[MayMsredrose]

Why do not you talk to him and tell him the what you fel the way you had posted your question? By the way how old are you both? Ask him if he is ready to become a father... Maybe he is not yet ready for this responsibility...

Ms. Redrose

[crystal123098]

He's 24 and I'm 22. He's ready to be a father for sure, he's always asking about when my next appointments are and looking at baby stuff, and he told his friends and family so I don't think it's that... I've tried to talk to him about it and he says he just doesn't like having sex that often, but we used to all the time...

[N0help4u]

Often guys have the tendency to think "it will cause birth defects or harm the baby" in some way which is false.
They think delicate fragile be extra careful to NOT..
Maybe have him talk to someone like a doctor or counselor or someone who he can trust that if they said
It is okay it must be okay.

[sovaira]

Just talk to him about this and let him know. I think misunderstandings begin when we don't share with our partner.

So be bold and talk to him abot what you feel.

Yes may be he is careful about you and your kid that he duznt want to have sex that often.
We girls are always in loss most of the times because we don't talk to our guys and keep waiting for him to begin,while men mostly talk straight into eyes.
So better tell him, may be he will change his mind and will do what you like .

[MayMsredrose]

Dear Crystal,

If he cares that much about th baby then it's OK... sometimes our desire drop for a while.. you & pregenency may no tbe the main reason... or maybe he is just afraid to hur t you or the baby... consult a dr or profession in this matter... do not push for it so much...
Show him how much you love him & care for him and that he is no 1 in your life before & after you had the baby...

GOOD LUCK & take care of yourself.

Ms. Redrose

he's 24 and im 22. He's ready to be a father for sure, he's always asking about when my next appointments are and looking at baby stuff, and he told his friends and family so i dont think its that....I've tried to talk to him about it and he says he just doesnt like having sex that often, but we used to all the time...

[smoothy]

You aren't going to be denting the Kids head or anything. :eek: And there is no issues with intercourse till I think the last trimester.

Heck... tell him to relax and enjoy it, there is no reason to be stowing it away for the duration.

[sovaira]

But some guys do not know more anatomy and physiology than many of us do.well it is giving her a serious problem cz he is not paying attention to her. There may be several reasons behind this .


smoothy you are very right.
But you see men are not as clever as you are.

Hats off!

[crystal123098]

I tried to talk to him about it again the other night and he said that he doesn't like it as much since he has stopped drinking and that sex is a lot of work (he's very fit) but it seems like he is making excuses to not have sex with me, I know sex isn't everything obviously but it's a big part of a relationship and I love being close to him like that. So anyway he had a few drinks with our roommate the other night and he started falling asleep on the couch, so I woke him up to come to bed and he said he didn't want to... I said " your gonna sleep on the couch again like last weekend?" and he said he just didn't feel like coming to bed, so I left and slept at my girlfriends house because I was confused and it seems like maybe he needed some space, I came back home last night and he acted like nothing was going on so I didn't mention anything, should I stay somewhere else for awhile or ignore him or what, I know he loves me but I feel like I'm his friend and nothing more, this is really hard to go through with all the feelings I am having being pregnant and preparing for our baby.

[smoothy]

I tried to talk to him about it again the other night and he said that he doesnt like it as much since he has stopped drinking and that sex is alot of work (he's very fit) but it seems like he is making excuses to not have sex with me, I know sex isnt everything obviously but its a big part of a relationship and i love being close to him like that. So anyways he had a few drinks with our roommate the other night and he started falling asleep on the couch, so i woke him up to come to bed and he said he didnt want to....i said " your gonna sleep on the couch again like last weekend?" and he said he just didnt feel like coming to bed, so i left and slept at my girlfriends house because I was confused and it seems like maybe he needed some space, I came back home last night and he acted like nothing was going on so i didnt mention anything, should i stay somewhere else for awhile or ignore him or what, i know he loves me but i feel like im his friend and nothing more, this is really hard to go through with all the feelings i am having being pregnant and preparing for our baby.

He has issues beyond sex... I can't guess what they are, but something is going on there.

[at my wits end]

I think that men have a great difficulty with pregnancy in general. They are afraid that they will hurt you and that you are a fragile flower or something. I don't think that they realize that unless you complain of pain or being uncomfortable go for it because after the baby comes they will have some time trying to get some from you.
This is all a big life change for him as well so if you can be patient.

[LankyMae]

Try reminding him about Oral. Oral doesn't hamper pregnancy.

[THATguy23]

Sex is a lot of work though. Sometimes I don't want to work that hard either.

[Homegirl 50]

I think ole boy may not be all that pleased that you're pregnant and just does not want to be bothered. He could also be sexing somebody else.

[Rook]

Oh my god no. DO NOT LEAVE HIM. I could probably write about this for hours. I don't want to seem rude but women have absolutely no idea what men are thinking, and likewise I know. Your boyfriend is going through a huge life changing and very traumatic event, I know you are too, but we're talking about him. He's constantly asking about DR. appt's and such because he cares deeply, but he's so stressed and wound up inside. All he thinks about inside is you and your baby being taken care of the best you can. These aren't thoughts he actively thinks or will ever tell you, because they are subconsious and he has no control over them. The same applies to his reluctance with the sex. No matter what he consiously thinks, he is subconsioulsy afraid of hurting his child and you. At first the sex wains because you're afraid of injury and uncomfortable with it. Then you just begin to come around as a man when the woman is hitting her phase of full bore wanting sex constantly. Then you reach a point that the last thing you want to do is have sex because it's all you hear about and it drives you absolute nuts. This is a bad situation for both partners because neither one is getting any at all. Then the tension may ease a bit and you get back into a few weeks of sex before the third trimester and you're not supposed to be doing it anymore. I know you may and will be having a hard time controlling your emotions and these will definitely affect your thoughts, love - insecurity and such. But please just try to be smooth and even keeled as you can be. That will help reduce a lot of stress, and he won't be as stressed by your current situation. May sound like garbage but I just went through this, now happily married with a 1 yr. 9 month old son. I love my wife and son and wish I could help you more. p.s. Have him check his blood pressure. I had a minor heart attack at 30 yr.s old while pregnant.

[smoothy]

Sex is a lot of work though. Sometimes I dont' want to work that hard either.

I think its time for anyone who doesn't want to do the work to have sex should turn in their genitalia and become unisex eunuchs. If anything was worth a physical effort its this.

[statictable]

The magic of alcohol and now that you've turned all the lights on he probably doesn't know who you are. Try an experiment: get back out to the party and the club. You stick to water or any non alcohol drink and let him drink away till he's dancing and jumping up and down and kissing you on the face and then when you get home get him under those sheets and WOWIE!! If the experiment does work then your work has just begun and you'll need to talk with a professional about your 2 children; the one inside of you and the one in the other room jumping up and down.

[supermommy25]

I think his focus may just be that there is a baby inside you, and for him to have sex with you while the baby is inside you is just not kosher... my boyfriend was the same way "I just had my baby in July and all he kept thinking about was how nasty it would be for him to have sex with me while the baby is inside me... hopefully he will get over it and maybe he needs to go to the doctors with you so the doctor can tell him that having sex is okay and it will not hurt the baby.

[appleteeth]

I was just recently pregnant and was in the same situation with my boyfriend, I am 22 and he is 25, and it hasn't gotten any better in fact only worse. I am sorry but I think maybe you and I should just run away somewhere where men appreciate women and what they go through, I'm sure you're beautiful, and you don't deserve this, and neither do I.

[Lowtax4eva]

Perhaps this has nothing to do with the pregnancy, you mentionned you have only been together 6 months... in most relationships eventually you stop having sex every day, maybe he's just wanting it less but your not feeling the same.

Definitely talk to him about it though.