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jollygreen52 · Jul 10, 2007, 02:45 PM

Hello all. I am a 21 year old virgin. I have never had a girlfriend, kissed a girl, or even held a girl's hand. I went on one date with a girl when I was 16 and it was really awkward. The thing is, I'm OK with being a virgin right now. I really just want someone to go to dinner or a movie with. Someone to talk to. But I'm worried that if I started seeing a girl, she would expect me to at least make out with her, and for a number of reasons that I won't go into, I don't think I'm ready for a sexual relationship. I guess I don't really have a question but I would appreciate any advice. Thanks.

Fr_Chuck · Jul 10, 2007, 02:59 PM

When you date, you date if that is all you want to do. What you do, and how far you go is always your choice.

Dennis777 · Jul 10, 2007, 03:11 PM

Hello.

IM sure most ladies would find it enjoyable to be with a Man that didn't always try to get in their pants. If you find a Lady that you feel comfortable with you can go into why your not wanting to be sexual at this time. Ladies are very understanding as long as your being honest with them.

A great way to meet Ladies for relaxing get togethers is school or clubs. Not Dance Clubs but real clubs like a craft club or reading club. If you have a hobby I'm sure there will be others in your area that enjoy the same type of thing and that way you already have things in common.

Good Luck.
Dennis777

Lotz_of_Questions · Jul 10, 2007, 04:00 PM

WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I WAS SINGLE.
I sure would have dated a guy like you.

I'm sure there are plenty of girls that would like to go out with a nice respectful guy. You just have to look very hard.

Good Luck :)

bigdreamer85 · Jul 12, 2007, 12:41 PM

I'm guessing your some sort of christian( no offence, they're just usually the ones who save there chasity for marriage.) Meet a girl at church who's into the samet hings as you and you might even find one who's saving herself until the time is right too. She's out there, just be open to meeting her.

Thanks for saying that though about meeting a girl and wanting to get to know her first, makes me hopeful for all the little girls out there, that good men are still out there. =)

smoothy · Jul 13, 2007, 05:08 AM

You are just a late bloomer. Don't worry and just take things at your own pace. Don't work off anyone else's timeline.

Sirius · Jul 25, 2007, 10:38 PM

Jollygreen, I am in the same boat as you, for I am 37 years-old and still a virgin. I think you and I both suffer from social anxiety disorder, where we are not overly social and can become over stimulated very easily. I can only suggest baby steps and let the future woman know that you like to take things slow but you mean so in a respectful way. I still have faith that there are quite a few women your age that would appreciate that lack of pressure.

Hope this info helps.</br></br>

Parajr · Jul 25, 2007, 11:27 PM

I have found that most of the time these things work themselve out. We simply put too much thought into it. It is what it is, and what will be will be. Just do what is comfortble to you and let nature do the rest.

LearningAsIGo · Jul 26, 2007, 09:24 AM

You should be proud to stand up for what you want. In the beginning of a relationship, there is no need to explain any of this unless you feel comfortable doing so.Though, the moment may come when she questions your motives (or lack there of). Simply explain what you said here. You'd like to wait.
Any woman worth being with will respect you for that... even appreciate you as a "breath of fresh air!"