[sleepy42]

I dated a girl for about 2 months and everything was going great. She said she wanted to slow down with me and I said I was OK with that. Couple days later, she called me to come over and we talked for a while. The talk ended up her saying she did not want to be in the relationship anymore because she felt we moved too fast for her and she wanted to start building the friendship which I can understand. We still talk now. I'm confused as to why no more relationship though. She told me everything was great, I did nothing wrong. So where did all this come from

[Fr_Chuck]

You are still in a relationship, ( perhaps friendship) since you still talk.

You are now going slower, that is what she wanted

Just talk to her, after 3 or4 months of just being friends, you can talk about, any other feelings.

[CravenMorhead]

Often things go from zero to hardcore relationship really quickly and it is due to huge hormone rushes. This is in both adults and teens. She was probably seeing herself slip too much from who she was into co-dependence and serious relationship her and it scared her. She just needs time to figure herself out and figure you out. It doesn't mean it is over, it just means that she wants to get to know you, and her better and come back to a balance before going further. Make sure what she feels isn't a matter of hormones and temperoary emotions but is serious attraction that will survive into a long lasting relationship.

Just take it slow. Talk, get to know her. Also look at this with a critical eye. Is this someone you want to spend the next few months with, the new few years, or the rest of your life. Are you two compatible emotionally, and relationally, or just physically? Trust, holding onto a woman because she's attractive or a good time isn't the foundation for a good relationship. You need to build the foundation for a good relationship if you want to have a relationship. She's deciding if she wants a relationship. You should too.

[Triysle]

Don't focus on "what happened" or "what you did wrong." Relationships rarely end because one person did something wrong, especially in just two months.

A healthy relationship requires honesty with each other, but more importantly honesty with yourself. She had the emotional maturity and self-awareness to understand her own desires and realized it before things got too far along with you.

If you want to pursue a romantic relationship later on, that's fine. Just make sure you give her (and yourself) time to figure out what you really want in your lives.

You can be the best boyfriend ever, but if your partner doesn't want a boyfriend, it doesn't make a working relationship. Not to get too abstract, but think of it like an audition. You could be an amazing drummer, but if they're looking for a vocalist, or want to make a solo album, you aren't going to be a good fit in the long run.

[talaniman]

Don't be confused as obviously she changed her mind, and doesn't want an exclusive relationship with you. For now its friends only and if you aren't cool with that then you need to get back to the life you had without her. It happens more than you know that dating only gets to friendship and hang out buddies.

If you recognize this then you won't trip, or be stuck with false hope she will change her mind back. Then you can enjoy a life just being real friends, while you explore and experiment your own life for options and opportunities for happiness. This is about what she wants, and has nothing to do with you, or what you want. She doesn't want what you want.

One of those disappointing things in life you have to accept, and move beyond.

[smoothy]

As was mentioned... be happy being friends or move on. Its very unlikely she will ever change her mind to go back to more... and in the remote chance she did... expect this to happen again.

Sorry dude... hate to tell you but you are wasting time if you hope for more. Don't mean she still can't be a good friend... she'll just never be a girl friend. I've got a few friends like that. One I've been really good friends with since 1988. She bumped it back into the friend zone... and quite honestly... I grew to know her well enough over the interviening decades since... that it wouldn't have worked out if she had not done so. Shes a great friend, but damn does she have a few irritating personality traits a regular friend can simply ignore, but not a boyfriend. In fact she's still single... never got married. She is the one who introduced me to a few ex-girlfriends AND my current wife (actually the only wife I've ever had).

[Alty]

Girls point of view. Whenever I did this to a guy it was to spare his feelings. Much better than saying "I'm really not into you, and just want to be friends".

Sadly I didn't realize that telling a guy I just wanted to take things slow, didn't put him in the friend zone in his mind. For him it meant that he still had a chance, he just had to be patient. Then I'd find the note he left in my car after we went out as friends, telling me he loves me and wants to be with me. Or he'd invite me to his grad and I'd go as his friend and he'd try to be more than that.

In other words, it took a while for me to realize that lying, telling a guy I just wanted to take things slow, develop a friendship first, didn't make him just a friend. It made him think he had a chance, he just had to wait.

So my take on this is, she's not into you as a boyfriend. She wants to be friends, and if you want more, it's not going to happen. So either be happy having her as a friend, or cut all contact.