[Travisp87]

Ok so I never asked anyone for help on anything like this before but I'm really confused so don't judge me but here it goes. So I've had bad luck with relationships my whole life. I'm a young 22 year old from Boston and I'm always busy with work so I just thought I would try something new. So I met this girl on tinder and we talked a lot on there and clicked for a few days then it moved to texting she seemed really interested when we texted and after a while I asked her if I could call her she responded with, "I think I wanna get to know you more." I was totally fine with that since we were only texting for a few days and we honestly didn't know each other that well. So after that I just gave her space for about a week or two and then she snapchatted me a picture which made me think she was interested again. So we started texting and snapchatting more and she would actually text me first which is something I'm not used to.
She said I was really sweet because I would always compliment her and finally she agreed for me to call her and we talked on the phone all night it was like I magic.

For the next couple of days we had late night phone calls dates and would stay up until 2 or 3 in the morning. I started to really like her even more every time we talked. She said she liked me a lot and I believed her but I was so scared of getting hurt that I had to know if she was interested in anyone else. She told me she wasn't interested in anyone but me. So then over the phone we had planned a day to hang out once she got off work which was like a dream come true. So we met up at her house and I drove her to a beach in her town and he talked and flirted and even kissed for about 2 hours and then she got cold so we went back to my car and I'm not going to lie it got pretty frisky but stopped there. I then drove back to her house where I parked out front and we talked some more and kissed a lot which led to a lot of other things.

After it all went down I asked her if she was OK like 20 times and she said yeah. So it was pretty late and I had work early so she went inside and slept and in the morning I felt bad for what happened in my car so I sent her a edible arrangement in the morning and she responded with, "that was so sweet of you. But I really think that I need a little bit of time..we're going really fast and I still don't know you that well and I've never done anything like this before. Especially after last night, I'm just a little freaked out." I was kind of caught off guard at first because she said she was OK that night. I apologized a ton of times before I told her I would give her space and she just didn't respond.

I don't want to annoy her and push her away even more that's why I'm asking where did I go wrong? If there's anyone that can help me please do.

[talaniman]

You didn't go wrong, you just made her think she should slow down. So back track to the great conversations and backoff the physical stuff for a bit and have some fun dates and less parking and being alone to get frisky. All she is saying is go slower, and explore other areas than lips and body.

Like your minds, and have fun. That's what an interested gentleman does when the lady wants to slow it down. Shows interest and respect, when you initiate and have fun planned. You can't let her worry about being used for lust and then left can you? Dating 101, dignity and respect and have fun getting to know each other.

Try it, let me know.

[Alty]

All the apologizes, all the questions, 20 times asking if she was okay, you probably made her feel that she shouldn't be okay, and that you should apologize, even though she didn't feel like that to begin with.

One thing women really hate, and so do men. If you ask me (I'm a woman) if I'm okay, and I say yes, don't ask me 19 more times if I'm okay, because after the 4th time, I'm no longer okay because you keep asking.

Just relax. Enjoy getting to know her. A bit more of going out and talking, and a lot less of the frisky groping are you okay stuff.

[Travisp87]

I totally understand where you're coming from I actually had a couple fun dates planned after that and we talked about it then this happened and she asked for space and time. I don't know what to do because I don't want to annoy her because I already agreed to give her space and time and she just didn't respond after that so it just feels like I screwed up once again. I like her and she said she still liked me she just needed time and space but I don't know how she can to from talking to me everyday for the past week and a half to just no contact now. I want to handle this the best way possible without screwing up or pushing her away even more I guess what I'm asking is should I leave her be for a little?

[talaniman]

I would certainly give her what she asked for and not take this personally as you should know it's likely more about her than you. Take the opportunity to explore other options and opportunities because like you met her, there are others to meet, and talk to, and date. Hey guy I think the last thing you do is dwell on a failure and wait for success. Maybe she comes back around again, maybe she doesn't, and since you cannot control, or even know what is going through her mind or what is going on in her life, YOU have to adjust to what YOUR reality is for know it was great for a while and now its not, so don't be stuck on it when its not.

You should never put all your eggs in a strangers basket so soon in the first place nor have so high of expectations you cannot adjust to changes or disappointments when things do change. So don't dwell or blame yourself at all, just take a breath and try again,. and again if necessary. That's just the nature of dating and romance and always has been, and the bottomline is on to the next adventure, or get ready for it.

If nothing else you learned no matter how good it starts it can change quickly,and what you are dealing with is control over yourself, and what you do about it. Me, I would be looking at having my own fun and adventure without her, and checking back in a few weeks. But then your idea of a social life seems to be much different than mine was back in the day and after work was far more important than work.

Making time for yourself is the real key here. Hard to dwell when you have many things other than work to look forward too. Wish they had dating sites, and chat places back in my day. You have no clue how lucky you are and how endless the options and opportunities are for you! Don't squander it, and be grateful for the time you did spend. I would be.

Build a life that you enjoy with people family, and activities that you look forward too. Alone ain't bad, lonely is a choice.

[DoulaLC]

I don't know how she can to from talking to me everyday for the past week and a half to just no contact now. I want to handle this the best way possible without screwing up or pushing her away even more I guess what I'm asking is should I leave her be for a little?

You both got caught up and moved too fast... now she needs time to sort it all out. What seemed like a good idea at the moment (not too difficult when you get caught up in it), likely caused her to have second thoughts later. Maybe she doesn't want you to think she is "that sort of girl", maybe she is mad at herself for letting things go as far as they did, maybe she is scared that YOU will want more, only she knows or has to decide if she doesn't yet.

When you do contact her next... keep it brief... "I feel we moved too quickly and I really just want to get to know you better and go out"... no more apologies. Focus on the fun dates and enjoying spending time together.

As tal said, it doesn't hurt to continue to keep your options open either. This obviously isn't a committed relationship, so if you happen to meet someone else as well, great.