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Homegirl 50 · Dec 11, 2013, 12:10 PM

When someone says they need a break, 3 days is nothing. Telling her you will not contact her till after Christmas and that you would leave the contacting up to her would have been giving her a real break.

jj2014 · Dec 11, 2013, 12:51 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

When someone says they need a break, 3 days is nothing. Telling her you will not contact her till after Christmas and that you would leave the contacting up to her would have been giving her a real break.

Good point but I can't do much about it now can I ?

Homegirl 50 · Dec 11, 2013, 01:29 PM

Yes you can. You can not contact her until after Christmas.

jj2014 · Dec 11, 2013, 02:03 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Yes you can. You can not contact her until after Christmas.

Do you think things would have calmed down by then? And despite me say timeout till Friday do I text her then and say let's extend this break till after Christmas and that she can contact me when she is ready ?

Homegirl 50 · Dec 11, 2013, 04:53 PM

I say leave her alone. Let her contact you. If she has not heard from you Friday and contacts you, tell her you think you should just chill until after Christmas.

jj2014 · Dec 11, 2013, 05:02 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

I say leave her alone. Let her contact you. If she has not heard from you Friday and contacts you, tell her you think you should just chill until after Christmas.

Okay but if she does not contact me on Friday then shall I leave it till she calls ? And won't that takw us further apart ? Or will she respond positively ?

Homegirl 50 · Dec 11, 2013, 05:06 PM

If she is interested in you, she will contact you.

jj2014 · Dec 11, 2013, 05:16 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

If she is interested in you, she will contact you.

I can see this is going to require time and patience ? But She needs to get her mind in the right place and I'm doing self improvement work but I know in my mind that I have not done anything serious . Anyway she is 22 I'm 27 I was reading something on the net where people say it can be tricky dating ladies in early 20"s ?

talaniman · Dec 11, 2013, 05:27 PM

Originally Posted by jj2014

Okay but if she does not contact me on Friday then shall I leave it till she calls ? And won't that takw us further apart ? Or will she respond positively ?

She doesn't have time for you and to be honest you should be doing other things other than worrying about her, and what to do if she does or doesn't. I mean just reread the questions you pose to strangers who don't know either of you and certainly cannot read minds. They are desperate questions as if you are looking for a magic solution that gets you the girl.

There is no such thing, and what you really need is be cool, calm, and collected and in control of yourself, and give your emotional dust time to settle and look at this situation from a fresh healthier perspective.

If you are meant to be together you will be but for now its should be rather obvious now is not that time, and no amount of plotting planning or living in fear will change that. That's why everyone says leave her alone and see what happens next.

Its up to you to get control of yourself, your thoughts and actions and do so by brushing off your dignity and self respect. She has no time for you and has said so. So take the hint and back off. I suspect she has holiday plans and you need some too. Go get a date for New Years eve, or find a party somewhere.

Alty · Dec 11, 2013, 05:34 PM

If she cares about you as much as you think you care about her, she'll contact you. If she doesn't contact you that's a clear message.

Yes she's busy with her career, while you seem to be sitting at your computer or phone waiting for her to contact you. All these interviews you say you had, what's come of that? It seems from what you've written that the only thing you're concentrating on is a woman you met in person one time! One time!

You are needy, and you are clingy, and the sooner you realize that the better for your next relationship.

I'm a woman. I'm married now, but before then, if I was interested in a guy, if I wanted to be involved with a guy, I made time for him, no matter how busy I was. The fact that she isn't making time speaks volumes.

Women hate to tell a guy that they're just not interested. It's the nurturing part of our DNA. We rather let you off easy, let you figure it out for yourself. In other words, we're hoping that by not contacting you all the time, you'll get the hint that we don't want a relationship.

Everything she's done has shown she's not interested. Yes, she's busy with her career, but if she was really into you, she'd find the time for you.

jj2014 · Dec 13, 2013, 01:34 AM

She has just text me saying " hey we need to speak later" I have not contacted her for 3 days and she initiated contact with me so a good sign I think ?

Wondergirl · Dec 13, 2013, 08:02 AM

Originally Posted by jj2014

She has just text me saying " hey we need to speak later" I have not contacted her for 3 days and she initiated contact with me so a good sign I think ?

My first thought would be, "Uh oh."

jj2014 · Dec 13, 2013, 08:04 AM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

My first thought would be, "Uh oh."

really I did explain why I was giving her sometime out hoping she might appreciate it

Let's hope for a positive outcome

J_9 · Dec 13, 2013, 08:21 AM

"We need to speak" is never a good thing coming from a woman.

jj2014 · Dec 13, 2013, 08:39 AM

Originally Posted by J_9

"We need to speak" is never a good thing coming from a woman.

How shall I handle this and I'm wondering if I can turn it around or suggest we take a break and chill till after Christmas

talaniman · Dec 13, 2013, 08:59 AM

You may as well wait to hear what she has to say and then handle that. Whatever it is but my experience is that when guys don't take hints and act on impulse and stubbornness, the hints get strong.

I wish you luck, let us know.

jj2014 · Dec 13, 2013, 09:05 AM

QUOTE by talaniman;
You may as well wait to hear what she has to say and then handle that. Whatever it is but my experience is that when guys don't take hints and act on impulse and stubbornness, the hints get strong.

I had not contacted her since Wednesday morning and have left it three days with out contact and she text me this morning

talaniman · Dec 13, 2013, 09:18 AM

Just listen and go from there. When is this talk supposed to take place? Where?

jj2014 · Dec 13, 2013, 09:24 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Just listen and go from there. When is this talk supposed to take place? Where?

No time has been arranged I did text her with what time shall I call you no response but it could either be via video call or voice call but she has said nothing since 8.20am

J_9 · Dec 13, 2013, 09:40 AM

My friend. Are you really 27? You are acting like a love struck 17 year old. Stop being so desperate! I am a woman and from a woman's point of view you are turning me off! I can't imagine having a relationship with you.

Look, you've only known her 3 months LDR. 3 months doesn't a relationship make even in person. You've seen her ONCE in person for crying out loud.

For heavens sake boy! Be a man. Be as unavailable to her as she is to you.

What you seriously need to do is get a life of your own. Get off the computer, tablet, phone (whatever media you are using) and get out and get a job.

Strong women like her, and she is strong considering her age, education, and career, don't want or need someone so clingy and desperate. We want strong men who have an education and a career. We don't want men who smother us only 3 months into a LDR relationship.