[isaaclouis]

My wife has cheated on me for years with an old college friend. Not every year but on at least 4 different occasions. He is on the west coast and she is on the east coast so that's why it was not all the time but over many years. I was in such a bad place in my life that I lied to her about things and just wasn't myself and believe I pushed her into it. Since we didn't always have sex maybe 7 times a year. But after this I think I am OK with her seeing him again Is this just crazy but it turns me on to think of them together? Help

[talaniman]

You are hardly the first one to be thrilled by the thought of a partner being with some one else. While I don't think its all that common, it does happen. Is it crazy? I guess not for some, but what kind of help do you need if you accept it, and LIKE it?

This is no blog, it's a Q and A site.

[CravenMorhead]

Google Cuckolding. Everyone has a kink, be it stockings, cuckolding, or dressing up as a big baby. It is all good as long as both consent and proper boundaries are talked about and agreed upon.

[Oliver2011]

Setting the bar rather low for yourself and your relationship, are we not?

[joypulv]

Maybe assuaging your guilt makes it easier to accept.
Maybe a low opinion of yourself turns you on.
You tell us.
This is about you, not either of them.

[isaaclouis]

How do I let her know how I feel, I think it might make her think I am crazy

[Oliver2011]

How do I let her know how i feel, I think it might make her think i am crazy

What is your motivation for telling her you are okay with it?

What is your motivation for staying with someone who is cheating?

[isaaclouis]

Love and not hiding feelings from her is my motivation. I am not talking about the being together all the time maybe OK with once every year or two

[Oliver2011]

Love and not hiding feelings from her is my motivation. I am not talking about the being together all the time maybe ok with once every year or two

Most people would not be okay with that. There's no way I would approve of it, but it isn't about me. A relationship is special and, in my opinion, should be kept on a special level. We shouldn't accept any less.

[talaniman]

Does she know you know? What have you discussed and what are her feelings about this marriage as it is now?

[CravenMorhead]

What we think relationships should be and what they are can be two VASTLY different things.

The best course of action is to talk to her about this. Honestly there isn't anything more to this. It will be a hard conversation. You will tell her that you know of her affairs. You will tell her that you're okay with it and it kind of turns you on. Then you, as a couple will decide where you go from there. It might lead to the end of the relationship or it could open things up a little.

In the end this is between you and your wife. You two need to talk and decide how you progress. If you're both on the same page then you can work with this. If you and her want to. You're going to have to make some really stringent rules for this to work right and truthfully it will be hard to make things work. I have seen stranger though.

Just be truthful and honest. See where she stands on this. It could be that she's trying to get out of the relationship and she's not sure how so she is committing adultery in hopes you'll divorce her. You need to figure out where her head space is and if that is compatible with your current situation.

Good Luck

[Fr_Chuck]

We all have fantasy, and this is not the most common, but is one that is not as unusual as others.

With any sexual activity all parties need to agree, if this was romance, then no, a 3rd partner would not be wanted, but only they know that.