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Momwquestions · Jul 30, 2013, 11:27 AM

My ex husband has told me that he will sign his rights away and walk out of my boys' lives if I pay him $100,000. Is this extortion? Can I legally do something about this?

smoothy · Jul 30, 2013, 11:30 AM

Get over it... seriously... its the kids who suffer most.

First off... the only way anyone is signing away any rights is in conjunction with an Adoption proceeding.

He's got the right to be in their lives... and you really can't do anything about it.

Only a court could do it.. and unless he's on the FBI's top ten most wanted list... its unlikely they would... and even if he was... its unlikely they would terminate them.

Momwquestions · Jul 30, 2013, 11:32 AM

An adoption proceeding would take place. Now what?

Momwquestions · Jul 30, 2013, 11:33 AM

I am not saying he can't be. He doesn't want to be. What do I do with a dad who does not want to be in their lives?

smoothy · Jul 30, 2013, 11:35 AM

Originally Posted by Momwquestions

An adoption proceeding would take place. Now what?

You would have to be married to your new husband most places... and even then the birth father would have to be willing to do it... and its pretty rare they (the Adoption court) would do it without his blessing.

I assume he's not in prison for some heinous crime crimes against humanity or children or anything.

But once the adoption prcess is completed... he would no longer have any legal parental rights of any type to that child.

Synnen · Jul 30, 2013, 12:21 PM

Are you saying that your new husband wants to adopt your children, but your ex refuses to sign unless you pay him off?

Momwquestions · Jul 30, 2013, 12:29 PM

My new husband does want to adopt them but it was never brought up with my ex. I don't think he has thought about that. All he is thinking about is the money at this point.

ScottGem · Jul 30, 2013, 12:39 PM

As noted, he can't sign over his rights. However, he can agree to relinquish his rights in favor of your husband if your husband is willing to adopt.

If the bio father tries to extort money to relinquish his rights, tell your attorney (you need an attorney to process the adoption) and they will handle it. It should be impressed on the bio father, that, by agreeing to the adoption, he will no longer be responsible for child support.

Momwquestions · Jul 30, 2013, 12:41 PM

That is my whole question... he is trying to extort money to relinquish his rights. Isn't that against the law? What will the court do about it? I do have an attorney, but in no way do I have $100,000!

ScottGem · Jul 30, 2013, 12:43 PM

Can you prove it? This may not rise to the level of criminal extortion, but the Family court is not going to like it. If you can prove it to the judges, they will probably just terminate his rights.

Momwquestions · Jul 30, 2013, 12:44 PM

Oh Yes I have it in emails... several times he has posted to give him this amount and he will walk away.

ScottGem · Jul 30, 2013, 01:15 PM

So why haven't you told your attorney? A child is not an object that one can "sell" and courts will take a dim view of his attempt to do so.

If you weren't trying to package the TPR with a step parent adoption, you would have difficulty getting the TPR. But I think if your attorney presents the court with proof that he is attempting to "sell" your children, they will issue the TPR so your husband can adopt.

N0help4u · Jul 30, 2013, 01:37 PM

If you are not collecting child support tell him you will see him in court for that . That may change his tune.

JudyKayTee · Jul 30, 2013, 01:40 PM

When you showed the Police and the DA (ultimately) the extortion letter(s) what did they say?

Momwquestions · Jul 30, 2013, 03:12 PM

My attorney is too busy for me so we are looking at other options.

We have not showed the police. What will they do? Our original court is in another town. Does that matter?

And I am collecting child support.

ScottGem · Jul 30, 2013, 04:36 PM

Then hire another attorney. Your attorney works for you. You don't pay him to ignore you.

Momwquestions · Jul 30, 2013, 04:38 PM

We are doing that tomorrow. And contacting the district attorney as well.

ScottGem · Jul 30, 2013, 06:25 PM

By all means talk to the DA. But I doubt if this rises to the level of criminality. So I think the DA will decline to prosecute. Especially since, as I believe, the court will use the threats against him by approving the adoption.

JudyKayTee · Jul 31, 2013, 07:33 AM

"We have not showed the police. What will they do? Our original court is in another town. Does that matter? "

Scott and I are somewhat in disagreement here - extortion (which I believe this is) and child selling are against the law. You could not enter into a contract to govern an illegal transaction - $X in exchange for custody.

I think it's a Police matter.

Sounds like your Attorney will have to make that decision.

ScottGem · Jul 31, 2013, 08:29 AM

As Judy said, we are looking at this from different perspectives. I'm thinking that a DA will look at this as a civil custody matter and decline to prosecute. Judy is thinking it qualifies as criminal extortion and child selling.

Frankly it could go either way, which is why I encourage you to talk to a DA. I'm curious to see how it will go.