[tifforia]

I have had a few different sexual partners over the years but I have never really enjoyed sex, I love the foreplay and can get very turned on and excited but when it comes to the actual sex, I get quite nervous because I find it a bit sore and uncomfertable, if the man is 'well equipped' it puts me off even more, to think it will be painfull. I have tried once before to speak to a nurse about it but she just told me to relax more, which didn't really help. Everyone else I know loves sex and doesn't have this problem and I'm a bit embarrassed to talk to my friends about it. Is there anything I can do to make sex more comfertable and less painfull?

[smoothy]

Have you spoken with your gynecologist about this yet? They could examine you and check for a number of conditions that might have those symptoms.

All anyone else can do is guess...

[tifforia]

Have you spoken with your gynecologist about this yet? They could examine you and check for a number of conditions that might have those symptoms.

All anyone else can do is guess...

I spoke to a nurse once but she sort of shruged it off, I was a bit younger at the time. I have had my smear test a few months back and they didn't find a thing, if there was some sort of problem there would it have showen up in that test or would I need different tests?

[smoothy]

The conditions that could result in pain would not be detected with a pap smear... most of them anyway.

I would in a very pointedly and detailed way discuss this with them. That will provide them with all the information they need to do what is needed to pin this down to a specific cause.

The vagina is a very flexible organ... after all a baby can squeese through it (though not without great discomfort)... if there is pain durning normal sex and you are ready and properly lubricated... then there is somethiing wrong and you have legitimate reason to make sure the doctor (preferably Gynecologist) will not simply blow it off as nothing.

[tifforia]

The conditions that could result in pain would not be detected with a pap smear....most of them anyway.

I would in a very pointedly and detailed way discuss this with them. That will provide them with all the information they need to do what is needed to pin this down to a specific cause.

The vagina is a very flexible organ...after all a baby can squeese throught it (though not without great discomfort)...if there is pain durning normal sex and you are ready and properly lubricated...then there is somethiing wrong and you have legitimate reason to make sure the doctor (preferably Gynecologist) will not simply blow it off as nothing.

Thank you so much, after the last nusre just shruged off the coment I figured it wasn't a big deal and would get better in time. Thank you for the advice :)

[smoothy]

Maybe you presented it as a minor discomfort thing as a second thought at the time and they didn't get that it's a bit more than that and shrugged it off.

Be sure to express the importance of this to them... if you present it as something important to you.. they will treat it as such.

Best of luck.

[Alty]

I agree with Smoothy. When I was younger I had pain during sex, and pain during every menstrual cycle to the point where I ended up in hospital a few times.

When I was 18 I decided to go on the pill, and my mom made an appointment with her OBGYN. He did a complete examination, and found a small tumor on the inside wall of my vagina. It wasn't cancerous, but, it was (as he said) the cause of all my pain. Once it was removed, I definitely noticed a huge difference.

I would see a specialist, and specifically tell him/her about the pain you're having. A simple pap smear won't check for issues that could cause pain during sex. You need a more thorough exam from a gynecologist.

Good luck.

[JudyKayTee]

If it is a question of nerves and muscles "clamping" down, there are exercises which can help.

I might be in the minority but I am not "into" oversize men.

The Nurse sounds remarkably insensitive - I'd find a Doctor who actually listens!

[greentree30]

I had the same problem. Everyone (nurse and gynecologists) told me to just "relax". One told me to drink wine. For the longest I thought the problem was me and I was making myself squeeze tight without realizing. I was so tight there was no getting inside me, not even an inch. The only thing that could fit was a finger. Finally I got an ultrasound and they didn't see anything. So I tried not to worry about it for a while. Years later the pain got worse, not just when trying to have sex (and never succeeding), but at other random times too.

Long story short, it's my nerves and muscles. I had to get internal (vaginal) physical therapy for 6 months before I could finally have sex! There are physical therapists who specialize in this, you can't just go to any physical therapist. Anyway, over time I've learned what helps and now I have a very enjoyable sex life! I rarely have pain or discomfort during sex. My physical therapist taught me how to do internal massage on myself. Also you can get dilators to help stretch out the muscles (I found a good set of dilators online). If you commit to massaging/ using the dilators on a regular basis (once or twice a week) the muscles will learn to stay relaxed more and more. I hardly ever have to do internal massage on myself now.

But like everyone already said there's a ton of other things you need rule out. Definitely get an ultrasound asap. Also get your hormones checked. For some women an estrogen cream fixes the problem.

I hope you find out soon! Goodluck!

Oh yea, also a gynecologist can prescribe lidocaine gel. It definitely helps. It doesn't numb you at all, it just helps prevent or lower pain.

[tifforia]

Thank you everyone that is great advice. I feel much better now

[JudyKayTee]

I'll add that intercourse was quite painful for me. My ob/gyn likewise told me to relax and "pick a smaller partner," which she thought was hysterically funny. I didn't see the humor and found another ob/gyn.

I had stitches following a rape, they had healed but caused a raised scar, I had it lasered - no more pain!

[greentree30]

Wow I'm so sorry to hear that JudyKayTee. That is a terrible nightmare no woman deserves to go through.
I'm so glad you don't have to deal with physical pain from it anymore though.

[CravenMorhead]

Thank you so much, after the last nusre just shruged off the coment I figured it wasn't a big deal and would get better in time. Thank you for the advice :)

Don't talk to a Nurse about this. Talk to a doctor. If someone shrugs it off, find another health practitioner.

I had a GirlFriend who had an issue similar to yours. It took a few doctors to get a good diagnosis and trip to a physiotherapist to get things kind of sorted.

Most doctors use Occam's razor in most cases. What is the simplest solution is often the correct solution. The problem is when you get the 5% that don't fall into that category. Talk to different doctors. You'll find a solution.

[JudyKayTee]

Craven! Where have you been? Thank goodness I didn't pay the ransom!

And, yes, if one medical professional can't help - or won't even listen - find another.

[Wondergirl]

Craven! Where have you been? Thank goodness I didn't pay the ransom!

His wife had a baby. He's been busy. :)

[CravenMorhead]

Yup. Back at work so I can relax again. ;-)

[smoothy]

Yup. Back at work so I can relax again. ;-)

And get some sleep...