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    AlyssaV's Avatar
    AlyssaV Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 27, 2013, 08:37 AM
    My boyfriends crazy and I need help!
    My boyfriend and I been together for 10 months. I'm 17 he's 19, we are like a married couple. He sleeps with me every night. In the beginning of our reltionship he was so nice and normal. My mother told that's how every guy is in the beginning of the relationship. I never listened to her until about 2 months through our relationship he made me delete my Instagram. It went from my Instagram to my journal about my past life. Something I wanted to keep and show my kids or reminisce. After this happened I started texting my ex telling him about my new boyfriend and everything that was going on. I'm only 17 years old. My "ex" we were like best friends we told each other everything since we were kids. I grew up with him and we decided to just be friends. When my boyfriend found out I was texting him he has never been the same. He fought about this for months him bringing it up in every argument. I didn't see my ex we were just texting normal no flirting or anything. That was around September, in January I got into his Facebook. I was reading over 100 messages by the way him and girls since we started dating and till then. I was tortured for months thinking I was the only one doing wrong and I felt bad but I don't feel like it was considered cheating or anything. When I confronted my boyfriend his excuse was it was my fault he never stopped talking to girls. Why did I stay with him after this? I have no idea. We took a break a while later, he needed his space. So while we were on his break I would sign in his fb which he didn't know and read everything. I was surprised to the amount of girls he would talk to. It made me feel like I wasn't good enough, so I texted my ex.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #2

    Jun 27, 2013, 08:45 AM
    You know what you need to do.. get far away from this guy.

    First off... why is a 19 year old doing living with a 17 year old... likely because the average 19 year old won't put up with his crap.

    And honestly... you might say its only 2 years... but that 2 year gap is a huge gap at that age.

    Its like 10 or 20 at my age... and you already see the point behind this... in how he has suckered you into believing what he wants you to believe... you might feel you made that choice... the reality is you were influenced.

    Guys who care about you would not do that to you.
    busymomma2013's Avatar
    busymomma2013 Posts: 282, Reputation: 20
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    #3

    Jun 27, 2013, 09:17 AM
    I agree with Smoothy.

    Leave this guy! He is trying to control you in every way and it will only get worse.

    I am very surprised to hear that your mother allows you to live with this guy or even be with him.
    AlyssaV's Avatar
    AlyssaV Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Jun 27, 2013, 09:19 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by smoothy View Post
    You know what you need to do..get far away from this guy.

    First off...why is a 19 year old doing living with a 17 year old....likely because the average 19 year old won't put up with his crap.

    And honestly....you might say its only 2 years.....but that 2 year gap is a huge gap at that age.

    Its like 10 or 20 at my age....and you already see the point behind this...in how he has suckered you into believing what he wants you to believe...you might feel you made that choice...the reality is you were influenced.

    Guys who care about you would not do that to you.
    Exactly you are so right, he put me through so much and I feel so stupid for falling in his trap. Thank you for answering!
    AlyssaV's Avatar
    AlyssaV Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Jun 27, 2013, 09:22 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by busymomma2013 View Post
    I agree with Smoothy.

    Leave this guy! He is trying to control you in every way and it will only get worse.

    I am very surprised to hear that your mother allows you to live with this guy or even be with him.
    I'm surprised that my mother never stopped me from trying to be in a relationship. My mom has her own problems and she's not so much of a mother. She can care less about me and just talk crap about me to everybody. She's only my mother bcus she has no other choice but if she didn't have me and my brothers she would be happier.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #6

    Jun 27, 2013, 09:22 AM
    Please don't start a second thread with the same question.

    I agree with smoothy and busymomma. And why are you living with this guy at your young age? Aren't you still in high school? Where are your parents?

    It sounds like an awful lot of drama and emotional abuse going on.
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
    Entomology Expert
     
    #7

    Jun 27, 2013, 09:33 AM
    You don't need this and can do better. He is controlling you and likely cheating on you as well.

    Leave him and don't look back.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #8

    Jun 28, 2013, 10:08 AM
    I am almost 60 years old and I can tell you that I have had a few bad relationships. WHY? Because it seems to be the norm nowadays to just jump in a relationship with a guy. You let attraction, whether its he is so cute, he is so nice, etc... and you put all your dreams in thinking this is the one, when its only an illusion of what you want in your dreams. My rule of thumb has become Do not get emotionally/sexually involved with any guy any way shape or form until after you have REALLY gotten to know him. 90 days is how long it takes before a guy starts showing his true colors. Before that they are trying to please you and who you want them to be.

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