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maddimaddi5 · May 24, 2013, 08:29 PM

So I have been dating my boyfriend for a few weeks and we haven't hugged or anything :( I guess its not a big deal but my best friends just started dating this guy and the day they started dating they kissed. I don't know what to do and I don't even know if my boyfriend really does like me like he tells all his friends. Any advise?

teacherjenn4 · May 24, 2013, 08:29 PM

How old are both of you?

maddimaddi5 · May 24, 2013, 08:33 PM

Originally Posted by teacherjenn4

How old are both of you?

We are in sixth grade so 12 I know you probably think its weird that I'm worried about this but he won't text me and I don't have his number

Homegirl 50 · May 24, 2013, 09:30 PM

You are too young to be kissing and if he won't text you and you don't have his number, he is too young to be dating. He is probably having fun with his friends which is what he should be doing at 12 years old. You should be doing the same.

JudyKayTee · May 25, 2013, 05:22 AM

You are dating, he's your boyfriend, you don't have his telephone number and he won't text you?

What do "dating" and "boyfriend" mean?

This sounds like someone you see at school - no more and no less.

teacherjenn4 · May 25, 2013, 09:11 AM

Originally Posted by maddimaddi5

we are in sixth grade so 12 i know you probably think its weird that im worried about this but he wont text me and i don't have his number

And your parents know you have a "boyfriend" and you are "dating"? If you don't have his number, then you are not his girlfriend which is good because school is where you should be focusing.

talaniman · May 25, 2013, 09:38 AM

The problem is you are trying to do what you see others doing and think its okay. Its not, and you should not give in to peer pressure, or imitate what you think is the cool crowd,

fdsaqwerish · May 25, 2013, 11:41 AM

Hello Maddi,

At your age I don't think you truly know what it means to be in a relationship. A relationship is a bond shared between two people and their personal interactions with each other should not be affected by those around them. Don't worry what "everyone" else is doing, your relationship will follow its own pace. Also don't judge your "relationship" based solely on physical aspects of it.

This brings me to another point I'd like to address. Based on the info you have given us it sounds more like he is just a friend and both of you have "paired" up to avoid conflicting with social norms.

Lastly as many others have said: Do your parents know you are "dating"? And if you can't contact him how do you go on "dates" with him?

-Fdsaqwerish

Homegirl 50 · May 25, 2013, 03:28 PM

They are 12. I doubt they go on dates. I think she considers him her boyfriend, but I don't think it means much to him, and it shouldn't at his age.

Fr_Chuck · May 25, 2013, 07:32 PM

At 12, you "date" by hanging out some perhaps, but no real dates, and no, at 12, there is nor normally any physical, most 12 year old boys ( did not say age of boy) are not even interested in girls that much.

maddimaddi5 · Jun 6, 2013, 12:21 PM

Originally Posted by fdsaqwerish

Hello Maddi,

At your age i don't think you truly know what it means to be in a relationship. A relationship is a bond shared between two people and their personal interactions with each other should not be affected by those around them. Don't worry what "everyone" else is doing, your relationship will follow its own pace. Also don't judge your "relationship" based solely on physical aspects of it.

This brings me to another point i'd like to address. Based on the info you have given us it sounds more like he is just a friend and both of you have "paired" up to avoid conflicting with social norms.

Lastly as many others have said: Do your parents know you are "dating"? And if you can't contact him how do you go on "dates" with him?

-Fdsaqwerish

Well my parents know we are dating I don't know about his I know his sister knows though and I asked him if he would go on a double date with m my friend and her boyfriend but he said no because my friend was dating a 5th grader and he said he would rather go on a double date with one of my other friends but sadly none of my friends are dating his friends but school is over for us and I forgot to ask for his number but he still hasn't texted me is there something wrong with me?? His best friend told me that he thinks my boyfriend lost my number so if we don't talk at all this summer what do I do? Do I break up with him? Or should I just listen to his friend and show up at his house? I really don't want to go to his house though if he doesn't know I am going. But I don't know how to act around him anymore I have had a crush on him since 3rd grade I really need help :(

JudyKayTee · Jun 6, 2013, 12:24 PM

Let's see if I have this right - he's your boyfriend but you don't have his phone number so you can't call him. He doesn't call you.

You want to know whether to break up with him. If you do break up with him, how will you let him know?

I think it's over (whatever it was).

talaniman · Jun 6, 2013, 12:34 PM

You are so focused on your own feelings you haven't even thought about a 12 year old guy doesn't see this dating thing a you do. He is a 12 year old and likes you, but he probably likes what boys that age like most, being out of school and running wild with other 12 year old boys.

Does he live in your neighborhood? How far away is he? Bet he hasn't told his parents about you, and I bet your crush being 12 doesn't need his phone since school is out and is probably tied up with family stuff or guy stuff but you seem to be in touch with his friend so tell him to tell his friend to answer his texts.

Eventually he will get in touch just be cool. He obviously isn't waiting by his phone so neither should you be, so enjoy your summer with your own friends.

Homegirl 50 · Jun 6, 2013, 12:45 PM

I don't think he took this dating thing very seriously anyway. If he knows you talk to his friends, he would find a way to get in touch with you if he wanted to.
I say enjoy your summer and don't worry about him.

maddimaddi5 · Jun 6, 2013, 04:03 PM

He texted me today!! Yaaayyyy :)

JudyKayTee · Jun 6, 2013, 06:42 PM

Have you heard a single word that anyone has said to you on any of your threads?

maddimaddi5 · Jun 6, 2013, 09:52 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

You are so focused on your own feelings you haven't even thought about a 12 year old guy doesn't see this dating thing a you do. He is a 12 year old and likes you, but he probably likes what boys that age like most, being out of school and running wild with other 12 year old boys.

Does he live in your neighborhood? How far away is he? Bet he hasn't told his parents about you, and I bet your crush being 12 doesn't need his phone since school is out and is probably tied up with family stuff or guy stuff but you seem to be in touch with his friend so tell him to tell his friend to answer his texts.

Eventually he will get in touch just be cool. He obviously isn't waiting by his phone so neither should you be, so enjoy your summer with your own friends.

Omg you are so good with advise so when I'm at my friends house should I not bring my phone? Because the only reason I ever took it was just in case he decided to text me but he texted me today so I waited a hour to text back lol I'm weird I just didn't want him to think I was waiting for him to text me so when he texts me should I wait I few minutes or just text him back automatically? And no he doesn't live in my neighborhood he lives a few minutes away though and yeah my friend who is his best friend told me he is on vacation

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Have you heard a single word that anyone has said to you on any of your threads?

What do you mean? I just really like him I can't help but get excited when he texts me or when I talk to him he just makes me feel so weird I can't help getting happy about it

talaniman · Jun 7, 2013, 06:13 AM

I am glad you are back in touch, but I think we all here are concerned you are way to excited about being in a relationship that you are getting carried away with it. There are many things you could be doing this summer at your age that are better than worrying about the attention some boy is giving you.

Many of us here see this as a very unhealthy way to spend your summer. Put the phone away and have fun why don't you with your gf's and family. I know this is very new to you, but you must keep it real and pay attention to the rest of the things kids your age do, and not what some boy is doing. He is having his fun, so have yours.

JudyKayTee · Jun 7, 2013, 07:22 AM

I am saying that this is not a chat board. You asked for advice, and you got it. You are WAY too wrapped up in this boy (and other boys as well).

You are far more interested in him than he is in you from what I'm reading, and this is a going to be a hard Summer if you don't take a close look at how involved you are getting.

Homegirl 50 · Jun 7, 2013, 07:26 AM

so when i'm at my friends house should i not bring my phone? because the only reason i ever took it was just in case he decided to text me but he texted me today so i waited a hour to text back lol im weird i just didn't want him to think i was waiting for him to text me so when he texts me should i wait i few minutes or just text him back automatically?

This is so 12/13 years old. As much as you were moaning about him never texting you, why are you playing a game with returning his text? I don't think he cares one way or the other. He is having fun and so should you. There will plenty time for this dating thing when you get older.