[Love monster]

I like this one guy. We text every night. We hug every time we see each other. We talk all the time. We text every night from 7 to 11pm. The only thing is we only see each other on Sunday and Wednesday at church. His parents are the youth group leaders and me and his parents are sooo close. I honestly want to know if he likes me or not?? I could really use your help and if you need additional info tell me and I will gladly answer questions for you!

>Merged Threads<

[nerdylove93]

You should go for it! You like him and it sounds to me like he likes you back. How perfect an opportunity is that!

[Love monster]

You should go for it! You like him and it sounds to me like he likes you back. How perfect an opportunity is that!?

There is actually one issue with that. I am 13 and he is 19. But I promise he doesn't want sex!! I go to his house when I go shooting and we even talk there. I know him very well but I am not sure what to do. He wants the girl to ask and I don't know a question that would trigger the question??

[JudyKayTee]

You're 13. He's too old for you. You can promise he's not looking for sex but you don't know how to open a conversation about "liking" him - ?

Your idea of "like" at 13 is a lot different from his at 19.

I trust he is aware that any type of sexual activity (and I know you think he only wants to be your friend, and I hope you are right) can put him in jail.

[talaniman]

What a 13 year old girl does is not get carried away by her crush on an older guy who probably likes her as a little sister. Acting on those feelings will be embarrassing to you both. Especially given you are close to his parents who are church leaders.

What you do is be cool and keep things in perspective since you are dealing with a grown man, while you are just starting your teen years. What would your parents say?

Talk to your mom before you do anything. Just curious. Does he have a sister your age?

[Love monster]

What a 13 year old girl does is not get carried away by her crush on an older guy who probably likes her as a little sister. Acting on those feelings will be embarrassing to you both. Especially given you are close to his parents who are church leaders.

What you do is be cool and keep things in perspective since you are dealing with a grown man, while you are just starting your teen years. What would your parents say?

Talk to your mom before you do anything. Just curious. Does he have a sister your age?

I have acturally talked to my mom and she said that it is okay as long as we don't do anything as of sex , etc!! I know what will happen if we do he will go to jail but I know I will never do that people try to get me to do it all the time but I don't let them!!

[talaniman]

What do you expect to come of this crush? I can tell you as a dad, forget any unchaperoned stuff without full adult supervision with this fellow. That's why I asked if he had a sibling your age, as it's a big concern your being at his house to see just him.

I would say that's NOT appropriate for a 13 year old.

[Cat1864]

There is actually one issue with that. I am 13 and he is 19. But i promise he doesn't want sex!!! I go to his house when i go shooting and we even talk there. I know him very well but i am not sure what to do. He wants the girl to ask and i don't know a question that would trigger the question?!?!

How do you know he doesn't want sex? Because that is what he tells a 13 year old minor whose parents are friends with his?

He wants 'the girl to ask.' That sounds like a he is setting things up make himself look nice and the girl is the one 'asking for it.'

He is an adult. You are barely a teen. His behavior could be seen as 'grooming'. He could be putting on an act to get you (and your parents) comfortable with the thought of him being alone with you. Once he has your trust and you are believing everything he says, he starts showing who he really is. A man trying to get into the pants of a (legally) child.

You may think we are being harsh or don't understand, but we do. Many of us are parents. Those who aren't read the news. Every couple of months (and it probably happens more often) there is a story of a young girl who is befriended by an older male and believes everything he says about love and respecting her. She ends up in over her head either meeting him in a hotel or running away to be with him. Some get caught before something bad happens. Sometimes, she ends up pregnant or disappearing.

Sometimes, 'family friends' shouldn't be trusted.

[Love monster]

How do you know he doesn't want sex? Because that is what he tells a 13 year old minor whose parents are friends with his?
He wants 'the girl to ask.' That sounds like a he is setting things up make himself look nice and the girl is the one 'asking for it.'

He is an adult. You are barely a teen. His behavior could be seen as 'grooming'. He could be putting on an act to get you (and your parents) comfortable with the thought of him being alone with you. Once he has your trust and you are believing everything he says, he starts showing who he really is. A man trying to get into the pants of a (legally) child.

You may think we are being harsh or don't understand, but we do. Many of us are parents. Those who aren't read the news. Every couple of months (and it probably happens more often) there is a story of a young girl who is befriended by an older male and believes everything he says about love and respecting her. She ends up in over her head either meeting him in a hotel or running away to be with him. Some get caught before something bad happens. Sometimes, she ends up pregnant or disappearing.

Sometimes, 'family friends' shouldn't be trusted.

Oh. Ok. I see what you are saying! I am a strong christian and I believe firmly in not having sex till marriage and he does too! I know there is a lot of people using others but I promise he is not like that I have known him literally for 8 years! I am just wondering why people are thinking a 13 year old and a 19 year old dating?? There are some people who are 30 and they are dating a 50 year old! That is 20 years apart when me and him are only 6 years apart. I know you are probably thinking what is she thinking and I am sorry for this but I really want to know.

[JudyKayTee]

There's a big difference between maturity at 13 and maturity at 30. I fail to see how dating someone older when you're an adult factors into this.

And perhaps you're very adult or he's very immature.

As I saId - "like" to you and "like" to him may mean very different things.

But if your parents have no problem with you dating him, who are we to say the opposite?

(I have read your other posts. He is too old for you.)

[Love monster]

There's a big difference between maturity at 13 and maturity at 30. I fail to see how dating someone older when you're an adult factors into this.

And perhaps you're very adult or he's very immature.

As I saId - "like" to you and "like" to him may mean very different things.

But if your parents have no problem with you dating him, who are we to say the opposite?

(I have read your other posts. He is too old for you.)

If I may ask. What is honestly wrong with me and him? I know the age difference but out of curiosity.

[Zea]

Reasons you should not date him:

1- How do you know he does not want sex? Just, because he goes to church? Or because you THINK you know him.

2- How do you know he likes you more than a sister or a friend?

3- Don't you think it would be embarrassing for him to tell his parents that he is going to date a 13 year old?

4- School, friends, and family should be your only concern.

I can give you more reasons.
Now I have a question for you. Why do you want to date him?

[Love monster]

Reasons why you should not date him:

1- How do you know he does not want sex? Just, because he goes to church? Or because you THINK you know him.

2- How do you know he likes you more than a sister or a friend?

3- Don't you think it is embarrassing for him to say to his parents that he is going to date a 13 year old?

4- School, friends, and family should be your only concern.

I can give you more reasons.
Now I have a question for you. Why do you want to date him?

Reasons...

1. He treats me like I am loved and asks me about my day and is actually interested.

2. He is so sweat, kind, and compassionate person

3. He likes me for me and many people date me for what I have not who I am

4. When I ask him a question he answers me as soon as possible and he gives his honest opinion

*by any chance do you need any more?*

[Zea]

No, your reasons are not convincing, just because someone is nice to you doesn't mean anything at all. You are just not physically or mentally mature enough. Maybe if you were an adult it would not matter but you are not. He is a pedophiles.

Well he might be a pedophile if he likes you... in the way you know what I mean.

[Love monster]

No, your reasons are not convincing, just because someone is nice to you doesn't mean anything at all. you are just not physically or mentally mature enough. Maybe if you were an adult it would not matter but you are not. He is a pedophiles.

Oh OK!

[Zea]

Did you change your mind? Do you still want to ask him?

[Love monster]

Did you change your mind? Do you still want to ask him?

Yes I did. I have come to mind that if I really love him I will let him go till I'm older. Which is what I will do. :(

[Zea]

That is not what I meant. Look, I am sure that you are a nice girl. And to tell you the truth waiting for someone or waiting for time to advance for such reasons is not worth your while. Because you don't know he likes you that way, or maybe he really does not. Love for you and him has different definitions. You have to forget about him and pay attention to what matters most to you. Which might be your parents or friends or school...

[Love monster]

That is not what I meant. Look, I am sure that you are a nice girl. And to tell you the truth waiting for someone or waiting for time to advance for such reasons is not worth your while. Because you don't know he likes you that way, or maybe he really does not. Love for you and him has different definitions. You have to forget about him and pay attention to what matters most to you. Which might be your parents or friends or school.

That is what I am going to do. Let him go. And do other things.

[Zea]

That is great. I really hope that you mean it. :)