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Afraidmom · Apr 23, 2013, 06:40 AM

I would like to know which options a family has when dealing with an abusive, mentally ill teenager. The situation is as follows:

Male teenager (16) with two female siblings (12 & 19) living in the same home. The male teen has been diagnosed with a few mental illnesses such as borderline schizo, psychopathic tendencies, etc. His parents are both employed (44 & 50) and have a regular middle-class income.

Recently, for obvious reasons as the teenager now is tall and strong, the abuse has escalated from the teen terrorizing the entire family with emotional & verbal abuse, destruction of property, violent and graphic death threats to him now unprovoked physically attacking his father and literally beating him to the ground. His father recently was beaten pretty bad and left with bruises and a badly swollen "black eye". The teen shows Zero remorse and even threatens the entire family with more acts of violence.

The police has been called many times over the past four years but never helped much. It appears that there is not much anyone can do because of the age of the teen. And, according to some of the officers, unless he "seriously" hurts or kills someone, they can't lock him up. Once, another officer told the parents that they didn't have room in the local jails for kids like this one and he added: "Why should we be doing your job? This is your son....your problem".

It appears that now drugs are being consumed by the teen and possibly brought into the family home and maybe even sold to his schoolmates by him.

What can be done about this horribly dangerous situation? The girls and the parents deserve to receive some sort of protection before it really is too late...

The mother is terrified and also gets hit, pushed and threatened. The father is terribly embarrassed and has a hard time admitting that he is being abused by a "kid" and the two sisters have never felt safe in their home and have to lock themselves in a "safe" room when the teen boy goes on one of his rampages. Clearly this is a bad situation... please help with useful info :-(

J_9 · Apr 23, 2013, 07:02 AM

According to your username I am assuming you are the mother. Correct?

I have a few questions to ask you before I can help you. Okay?

1) Is the child under psychiatric care?

2) Medicated?

3) Who gave the diagnoses?

4) Has the boy ever been an inpatient in a psychiatric hospital? Voluntarily or involuntarily?

Where I live he should be taken to the local ER, by the police, when he makes threats or is physically violent. In my area he would be considered what is called a 603, but that is different by location. He can and would be held against his will because he is a danger to himself and/or others.

If he is under psychiatric care, it would be in your best interests to discuss these problems with his psychiatrist and get him committed to a mental health facility in your area.

tickle · Apr 23, 2013, 07:08 AM

You already have one step forward in getting him help, there is a police report filed. What have you actually done to get him help at ths point?

J_9 · Apr 23, 2013, 07:18 AM

Afraidmom, you have done a great job of telling us what is going on, but as you can see, there is a lot of information you left out. I understand why. You are scared and you want help. However, we need to know what steps you have taken so far to get this boy, and your family, the help you all need.

You say that the father, your husband (?) is afraid to admit that he is being abused by his son. Is the father covering for the son in front of the police? Is he being an enabler?

Afraidmom · Apr 23, 2013, 08:05 AM

I am the sister of his mom. The teenage son was adopted as an infant by my sister and her husband. He has been treated for various mental conditions since preschool age. Yes, he has been or is in care of a Psychiatrist and has also been admitted against his will on at least two or three occasions. Once for an entire week. He gets sent back home because they can only keep him for a certain amount of days from what I understand. Currently he refuses to take his meds and also started not going to school. The father is not covering for him but has called the cops a few times... only to be told that if they take him to jail, the parents would have to pick him up the next day anyway and if they don't they would be charged with child abandonment, etc. The father is afraid to defend himself against the son in fear of him getting in trouble for abuse or what not. The teen is a highly intelligent, evil, manipulative person without any compassion or live for his family. I truly believe that he is a ticking time bomb and something awful will happen if this gets ignored...

Originally Posted by J_9

According to your username I am assuming you are the mother. Correct?

I have a few questions to ask you before I can help you. Okay?

1) Is the child under psychiatric care?

2) Medicated?

3) Who gave the diagnoses?

4) Has the boy ever been an inpatient in a psychiatric hospital? Voluntarily or involuntarily?

Where I live he should be taken to the local ER, by the police, when he makes threats or is physically violent. In my area he would be considered what is called a 603, but that is different by location. He can and would be held against his will because he is a danger to himself and/or others.

If he is under psychiatric care, it would be in your best interests to discuss these problems with his psychiatrist and get him committed to a mental health facility in your area.

Afraidmom · Apr 23, 2013, 08:07 AM

Originally Posted by Afraidmom

I am the sister of his mom. The teenage son was adopted as an infant by my sister and her husband. He has been treated for various mental conditions since preschool age. Yes, he has been or is in care of a Psychiatrist and has also been admitted against his wil on at least two or three occasions. Once for an entire week. He gets sent back home because they can only keep him for a certain amount of days from what I understand. Currently he refuses to take his meds and also started not going to school. The father is not covering for him but has called the cops a few times...only to be told that if they take him to jail, the parents would have to pick him up the next day anyway and if they don't they would be charged with child abandonment, etc. The father is afraid to defend himself against the son in fear of him getting in trouble for abuse or what not. The teen is a highly intelligent, evil, manipulative person without any compassion or live for his family. I truly believe that he is a ticking time bomb and something awful will happen if this gets ignored....

*love not live - sorry typo

cdad · Apr 23, 2013, 08:10 AM

Then its time his parents see a lawyer and release him as a ward to the State. If he is this out of control then he needs more help and supervision then he is getting. They will need to go to court over this and it can be done.

What State is this happening in ?

Afraidmom · Apr 23, 2013, 09:15 AM

Texas - Harris County

Originally Posted by cdad

Then its time his parents see a lawyer and release him as a ward to the State. If he is this out of control then he needs more help and supervision then he is getting. They will need to go to court over this and it can be done.

What State is this happening in ?

Afraidmom · Apr 23, 2013, 12:05 PM

Texas

cdad · Apr 23, 2013, 12:42 PM

Originally Posted by Afraidmom

Texas

You might try calling CPS (Child Protective Services) and ask what can be done. Your child fits the incorragible profile. You no longer can contain him and he is a threat to your family.

Incorrigibility - Laws & Penalties for Habitual Juvenile Delinquency | CriminalDefenseLawyer.com

tickle · Apr 23, 2013, 01:33 PM

@cdad, OP is the sister of the mom; I am glad someone in the family is trying to help!

cdad · Apr 23, 2013, 02:22 PM

Originally Posted by tickle

@cdad, OP is the sister of the mom; I am glad someone in the family is trying to help!

I understand. But her or the mother calling CPS to ask how it is done and explaining things helps the situation out. Also so we can understand the legal definition of what is going on.