[garboozle]

I should probably start by saying she's a stripper & and all the time we spend together I have to pay for. I try my absolute best to try and get to know her and compliment her. I always tell her "take care of yourself" when we part and I mean every word of it. She says the same to me. She also laughs at all my jokes, but with her being a stripper and all I can't tell if it's just an act or if maybe I AM more than just a customer to her.

[saurav bhusal]

Sir if you like a girl then

[talaniman]

For your own good you are a customer, and being nice is part of her job. Its not hard to fall for a stripper, but this is no place to look for love... not at those prices.

[Homegirl 50]

You're a customer. It is her job to be nice to you and every other man who comes there.
If you are looking for love, a strip club is the wrong place to start.

[Jake2008]

Her being a stripper has nothing to do with who she is as a person. That you've described her as a stripper, means what exactly? She's less than human?

I think more important is that you don't know this person, beyond what she does for a living. I see nothing you've said so far to indicate that you have developed anything with her, other than what you see of her at her job.

If you are interested in her; getting to know her outside of her workplace, why not just test the waters a bit.

Ask her for her phone number or email address, and (assuming she doesn't have much time for talking at work like the rest of us), simply ask if it would be okay for you to contact her. Maybe set up a date to go out for dinner or a movie.

If all you are doing right now is guessing, you have no facts, and could be missing out on an opportunity to develop a friendship with a very good person. She may not be asking you out because she may feel she's being judged as 'just a stripper'.

Break the ice. Take the next step, and see where it takes you.

[garboozle]

Her being a stripper has nothing to do with who she is as a person. That you've described her as a stripper, means what exactly? She's less than human?

I think more important is that you don't know this person, beyond what she does for a living. I see nothing you've said so far to indicate that you have developed anything with her, other than what you see of her at her job.

If you are interested in her; getting to know her outside of her workplace, why not just test the waters a bit.

Ask her for her phone number or email address, and (assuming she doesn't have much time for talking at work like the rest of us), simply ask if it would be okay for you to contact her. Maybe set up a date to go out for dinner or a movie.

If all you are doing right now is guessing, you have no facts, and could be missing out on an opportunity to develop a friendship with a very good person. She may not be asking you out because she may feel she's being judged as 'just a stripper'.

Break the ice. Take the next step, and see where it takes you.

Absolutely not! I don't think of her as less of a person one bit, you had that totally wrong. I was just giving background information. I know a little bit about her, we've probably spent close to two hours combined speaking with one another.

But you're totally right about testing the waters and all I am doing right now is guessing. I just fear that "testing the waters" may completely back fire though.

[talaniman]

To try and fail is no shame, but not to even try is a shame. There is always a chance things will fail with affairs of the heart. Because you are smitten doesn't mean she is or is even as nice as you think outside of her job that requires her to be nice.

[garboozle]

Wednesday will be the next time I see her and I'll probably hint at how I'm feeling and maybe ask for her number or email if I'm not to afraid. I'm almost completely positive she's nice outside her job, but that is based on intuition rather than fact. Even if she isn't nice outside of her job I'd still be willing to be in a relationship with someone who isn't very nice.

To try and fail is no shame, but not to even try is a shame. There is always a chance things will fail with affairs of the heart. Because you are smitten doesn't mean she is or is even as nice as you think outside of her job that requires her to be nice.

I feel like the chances of it going well are slim to none and by asking or telling her how I really feel will ruin what little we have. I can tell by the way she talks and the things she says that she really is a nice person. I mean she wants to be a nurse. I know that it's somewhat based on intuition but I'm almost certain she's a very nice person. Even if she is a very mean person I'd still love to be in a relationship with her. I feel the opposite of your signature. I feel like I'll never truly be happy unless I find a relationship and I wouldn't mind making someone a priority even if I was only an option to them.

[odinn7]

You're thinking with the wrong head here. Do you see what you just ended your last statement with?

You'll still be willing to be with her even if she isn't nice... What? Why?

I know why because I had a friend just like you. He was obsessed with a dancer at a place we used to hang out at. She soaked him for everything that she could. She was so nice to him and he felt like it was part of their "relationship" for him to keep giving her money for dances and all. In between sets she would come and sit with him and he would buy her food or drinks or whatever. Oh, the poor thing didn't have any money for gas... so he would give her gas money even though you could see the tons of cash she was picking up off the floor each night when she danced. She used him and he loved it because it made him feel like he had a chance with her. He didn't of course. Finally, at some point, I think it hit him when it was just another excuse of why she couldn't go out with him. Guess what? All during this... she had a boyfriend that she was living with.

But you know what it really all came down to as far as I could see? He liked the attention she gave him. She sat with him and other guys would look and be jealous. She talked to him and everyone would see it. And on top of that all, here he was... getting attention and "love" from a dancer. The whole thing of her being a dancer was important to him.

So I ask... if this woman wasn't a dancer, would you still want to date her even if she wasn't nice?

To be completely honest with you, I have been watching this thread since it started and I agreed with what people were saying to you... but now when I saw that statement about dating her even if she wasn't nice, that is where I see the problem.

Even if she is a very mean person I'd still love to be in a relationship with her. I feel the opposite of your signature. I feel like I'll never truly be happy unless I find a relationship and I wouldn't mind making someone a priority even if I was only an option to them.

Wow... I was replying to your post before this one but now I saw this and it's even worse.

Your idea of happiness is just finding someone to be in a relationship with even if they don't care about you... and you would make them the focal point of your life even if you didn't mean much to them... really?

Why would you be willing to settle for someone that doesn't care about you and how would this make you happy?

[Homegirl 50]

Wednesday will be the next time I see her and I'll probably hint at how I'm feeling and maybe ask for her number or email if I'm not to afraid. I'm almost completely positive she's nice outside her job, but that is based on intuition rather than fact. Even if she isn't nice outside of her job I'd still be willing to be in a relationship with someone who isn't very nice.

Wow. That is pretty desperate. Why don't you just put an ad in the paper for someone, anyone. Just kidding but you may as well since you are just looking for anyone to be in a relationship with.

[garboozle]

I don't think I'm thinking with the wrong head. I'm thinking with my heart. I wouldn't mind being with her if she wasn't nice because she could still be someone I could share my life with, talk to and constantly aim to please.

I don't think this girl is as cunning as the one who manipulated your friend. In fact I'm sure she's different. I love it when she sits with me because I feel like I can tell her anything and I love listening to her talk about anything and everything. How she feels is important to me. Making other guys jealous is not an intention at all. I couldn't care less if other dudes are "jealous" that is not even CLOSE. Like I said I absolutely love the attention and "love" that I get from her.

I'd be more than happy to be with her even if she wasn't a dancer and wasn't very nice. She could be an accountant for all I care. I'd rather find someone who actually cares about me but just having someone pretend to would brighten everyday of my life and I'd like to make everyday of their's a little better too. I want to make someone the focal point of my life. Someone to gravitate to and to lead me. I'm so tired of being alone. Really really tired of it, I've been single all my life.

[Homegirl 50]

There are plenty of women out there looking for a nice man. Why don't you go on a dating site or meet someone the old fashion way. Get to know her and see where it takes you. Do you have social life?

[odinn7]

I'd rather find someone who actually cares about me but just having somone pretend to would brighten everyday of my life and I'd like to make everyday of their's a little better too. I want to make someone the focal point of my life.

That really is sad. I feel for you because you are setting yourself up for all kinds of pain with an attitude and desperation like that.

Take care.

[garboozle]

There are plenty of women out there looking for a nice man. Why don't you go on a dating site or meet someone the old fashion way. Get to know her and see where it takes you. Do you have social life?

I'm on a dating site. I talk to women on there (I know it sounds shallow) but I'm just not physically attracted to. I don't have a big social life. Two of my close friends moved away and the other one has the opposite work schedule so we never really hang out.

[talaniman]

So you have made her your life without knowing her very well? Work on your social life my friend, and leave the booty bars for strictly entertainment. I suspect any female you spent money on in such places would give you the same attention. Its not healthy for you as its clouded your judgement while it captures your heart.

[garboozle]

So you have made her your life without knowing her very well? Work on your social life my friend, and leave the booty bars for strictly entertainment. I suspect any female you spent money on in such places would give you the same attention. Its not healthy for you as its clouded your judgement while it captures your heart.

I guess I sort of did develop quite an attachment too hastily as I often do. I don't have much of a social life because my friends either moved away or have opposite work schedules with me on third shift and all. I'm just going to meet her one more time and at the end I'll slip her my number and whatever happens happends. Think I will give the clubs a break as it has clouded my judgement and depleted my wallet.

[garboozle]

There's that old notion that if someone you want to date doesn't want to date you, simply date someone else and the other person will get jealous and want to be with. Has this ever worked for anyone? I'm ashamed for even considering it but nothing else I'm doing seems to work.

[talaniman]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ou-731813.html

Same female?

I would be too ashamed myself to stoop to such devious game playing since you have to fool someone else into going along with this jealous scheme, and worse, if they are not aware of your scheme they may well indeed be hurt.

Or do you mean, if it's the same stripper, giving another stripper your time, attention, and money to make the other stripper jealous?

Please clarify.

[Oliver2011]

That sounds like a horrible idea. Maybe horrible isn't a strong enough word. So you want to start a relationship by game playing? Move on, there's nothing to see here.

[fredg]

Any good relationship must have honesty, respect, caring, and a willingness to talk about anything. This will Not start a good relationship, even if it did work. I wouldn't try being dishonest and play games. Good luck.