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jnbsorell · Jan 8, 2013, 03:38 PM

Hi, I want to know If a judge would turn me down and tell me to go to therapy (which I am forced to do already by my mom) or that I qualify for emancipation. If you have read the book "Wuthering Heights" my life was a bit less dramatic then that, but it gives a good idea of what my childhood was like, my brothers were drug addicts and now are alcoholics, my dad was a doctor and a pill popper (He was a doctor so it was easy for him, He also died when I was 10 years old.). Now that my dad is dead things have quieted down, but there is still theft, and there is no trust inside my family, everything that goes wrong is blamed on me, and if I don't go to school my brother and mother and therapist say that I'm struggling and that I need their help. My brother uses my "struggling" as an excuse to make it seem as if he is not, and as if he is doing everything perfectly, by the way he's 26 still in undergrad and living at home, and was put in a disciplinary school, after which he came home and became an alcoholic at 21. Boys have been learning to be men through the necessity of being dependent on oneself that is brought by living on your own. I believe that if I was allowed to live on my own, I would form a subconscious plan that would allow me to be a functioning person in society. Do you think my grades which are mostly F's except for drawing which is an A- would convince a judge that there is no way I could be self sufficient?

J_9 · Jan 8, 2013, 03:48 PM

How old are you? How much do you make at your job? Can you afford an apartment?

jnbsorell · Jan 8, 2013, 03:49 PM

16, I make minimum wage, and there are programs like SAGA that could help me out.

Wondergirl · Jan 8, 2013, 03:49 PM

How old are you? ***Answered while I was typing.

A judge would be convinced if you had a full-time job, money in the bank, a place to live that you paid for yourself, and took total care of yourself without any help.

jnbsorell · Jan 8, 2013, 03:53 PM

I plan on going into the military once I graduate high school, and they offer college courses while on base and in deployment, moslty for free I believe, since I would have the Administractive rights of an adult, would I be able to use some of my college fund that is under my name?

J_9 · Jan 8, 2013, 03:55 PM

would I be able to use some of my college fund that is under my name?

Who provided these funds? What do you want to use them for?

jnbsorell · Jan 8, 2013, 04:00 PM

My grandfather (deceased) he put 40k towards my education, I would use some of it to help pay for food, rent and other household necessities, extra and un-needed item such as luxury items, such as cable TV or video games etc. I would buy with money from my job.

Wondergirl · Jan 8, 2013, 04:04 PM

Can you get your hands on any of that money, or is it in trust for your education?

How soon will you turn 18?

jnbsorell · Jan 8, 2013, 04:06 PM

I turn 18 in November 2015. I don't know if I can get my hands on that money or not. I don't think it's in trust, because while one of my brothers was going to college, he used some of it to pay for rent and such.

Wondergirl · Jan 8, 2013, 04:09 PM

You won't be 16 until November? So you are actually 15 now.

jnbsorell · Jan 8, 2013, 04:10 PM

No I'm 16, sorry I meant 2014, I turned 16 in the beginning of this past November

Wondergirl · Jan 8, 2013, 04:12 PM

Why are you getting F's?

jnbsorell · Jan 8, 2013, 04:18 PM

Because I have nothing to look forward to, Appeasement is an ancient idea that was formed by kings and emporors to keep their populations happy and willing to work for the greater good so that they can continue to enjoy these luxuries, My mom believes that taking everything away that is pleasurable will "break" me and make me do my work, With my past it just makes me more depressed and unmotivated, because as I said before I have nothing to look forward to, I can only see my friends in school, and for the first time in 2 years this past fall, I actually saw friends outside of school.

Alty · Jan 8, 2013, 04:23 PM

The only way to become emancipated is to prove that you have the wherewithal to support yourself. That means a full time job, enough money to get your own apartment, buy your own food, pay your own bills (that inculde any doctor bills, dental bills, etc).

You may think $40,000 is a lot of money, but in the grand scheme of things, it's very little when you're paying over $2000 (if you're lucky) a month just for rent, utilities, clothes, and food.

Also, what about school? If you're working full time it will be very difficult to continue with your education. Without an education you'll be stuck in a minimum wage job and never get ahead.

I know that your living arrangements aren't ideal, but you have less than 2 years before you're an adult. Why not work hard at school, put money away from your job, do your best to ignore what's happening at home, and then when you're 18, you'll be ahead of the game.

The 2 years will fly by. Do what you can right now to make the most of your future. Study, get those grades up, save, and ignore your home life, don't let it affect you. I bet you can do it. Frankly, I'm shocked that you're getting F's, your post is very well written, and it shows intelligence. I would bet that you wouldn't have to work too hard to get those grades up.

jnbsorell · Jan 8, 2013, 04:25 PM

Did I mention I loose a ton of sleep at home, because I have have to take care of my brother at night when he comes home drunk 2-3 times a week, I think I forgot to put that in there.

Alty · Jan 8, 2013, 04:33 PM

Originally Posted by jnbsorell

Did i mention I loose a ton of sleep at home, because I have have to take care of my brother at night when he comes home drunk 2-3 times a week, I think I forgot to put that in there.

Why do you have to take care of him? He's an adult, he's responsible for himself. Get ear plugs, lock your bedroom door, and ignore him. He has to be responsible for his choices, not you. You don't have to take care of anyone but you, and you're not doing that. So start doing it. Look out for yourself, and do the things that will get you to where you want to be. Only you can determine what you'll do. Only you can determine your future.

Seriously kiddo, you can do it. I've read your posts. If you, at 16, can write like that, then you can do anything you put your mind to, and trust me, I hardly ever say that to people on this site, just read my past posts and you'll see. Frankly, most of the people that post here make me want to smack my head repeatedly against the wall because of their lack of intelligence.

So stop playing the "but I have to....but this is happening....but I have tons of excuses" card. You have the option to put that all behind you, ignore all that crap, and work on you. Be selfish, concentrate on you and only you.

I dare you to. :)

jnbsorell · Jan 8, 2013, 04:37 PM

I feel obligated to help him because he is family, I've begged my mom to send him to detox, she said she will, I don't have a lock on my door, But you're right, I'll just "Be selfish" as you said, and work on myself. Thank you, very much, and the rest of you thanks for the information.

Alty · Jan 8, 2013, 04:46 PM

Originally Posted by jnbsorell

I feel obligated to help him because he is family, I've begged my mom to send him to detox, she said she will, I don't have a lock on my door, But you're right, I'll just "Be selfish" as you said, and work on myself. Thank you, very much, and the rest of you thanks for the information.

You're welcome.

Now, I do expect you to come back and keep us posted on what you're doing, and how you're doing. I expect to hear great things, because I know you have it in you. You can be anything you want to be, you have the intelligence, you just need to find your purpose. Reach for the stars (I know that sounds trite) and you'll catch them. You're 16, you have the world at your finger tips, you just have to reach out and grab it. So grab it.

Let those around you make their choices and suffer the consequences. That doesn't mean you have to go down with them. A wise man doesn't stay in a sinking ship, he either swims, or gets a cup and starts dishing out the water. If your brother wants to sink, that's his choice, he's not a child. If your mother wants to sink, that's her choice, she's not a child. Do you want to sink with them out of obligation, or are you going to start swimming?

I'd swim (I have swum, a lot). I think you're a swimmer too.

I won't tell you it's going to be easy, it won't. But nothing worthwhile is ever easy. It's the things we have to work hard for, that matter the most.

I'm proud of you kiddo. I know I'll hear great things, if you start to swim. :)

AK lawyer · Jan 8, 2013, 06:46 PM

Originally Posted by jnbsorell

... I don't know if I can get my hands on that money or not. I don't think it's in trust, because while one of my brothers was going to college, he used some of it to pay for rent and such.

It looks to me that it's indeed in trust. Depending on the trust terms, you brother could well have received some of it for those purposes.

Find out whether it's in trust or not, and if so, who the trustee is. Talk with the trustee about your options for getting some of the money for the purposes you mentioned.

And if it's not in trust, what makes you think it's there at all?