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Wondergirl · Nov 12, 2012, 02:09 PM

Originally Posted by alice26

...yuh tink iido have a problem?.iikno he loves meh,he told meh yesterday iilove yuh& iidont want too loose yuh out off no where, & iitold him yuh won't loose meh ,just iff yuh cheat on meh yuh will& he just stood quite,..its the lil ting he does that make meh insicure...he didn't say like no iiwont cheat on yuh or hurt yuh, ..

You're going to have to write in English. Your texting is impossible to read, and a mod is going to kick you off soon if this doesn't improve.

Meanwhile, answer my question (in good English, like a teacher is checking it).

alice26 · Nov 12, 2012, 02:16 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

You're going to have to write in English. Your texting is impossible to read, and a mod is going to kick you off soon if this doesn't improve.

Meanwhile, answer my question (in good English, like a teacher is checking it).

... sorry not use to this obviously! I don't known how to behave when his checking other girls out,just ignore it?

onceinalifetime · Nov 12, 2012, 02:18 PM

Originally Posted by alice26

....sorry not use to this obviously! I dont known how to behave when his checking other girls out,just ignore it?

Ignore...

But if it gets TOO serious... step up for you and your baby

Wondergirl · Nov 12, 2012, 02:21 PM

And throw in your own two cents -- "I love her purple knit top! I want one like that!" or ""Is that a tattoo on her arm?" or some such. Make it a fun thing to pick apart (nicely) other females.

alice26 · Nov 12, 2012, 04:14 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

And throw in your own two cents -- "I love her purple knit top! I want one like that!" or ""Is that a tattoo on her arm?" or some such. Make it a fun thing to pick apart (nicely) other females.

.. yuh tink that make him stop..

Wondergirl · Nov 12, 2012, 04:17 PM

Originally Posted by alice26

..yuh tink that make him stop..

At least he won't feel he has to be sneaky (if he is), and you two can make a game of it. And it will show him you aren't jealous.

Mercurian · Nov 12, 2012, 04:39 PM

Try asking him not to do it in front of you, at the very least. Especially since you're pregnant it's easy to feel insecure. Tell him it will help you out if he at least shows you the decency of holding back this behavior when you're around. Tell him you don't need this extra stress.

Edit: and this is just the way I deal with things, but don't be afraid that he's going to cheat on you. If he does, f##k him, you don't need him. If he doesn't, then that's great. But don't live in fear of it. You'll come off as more independent.

alice26 · Nov 13, 2012, 12:20 PM

Originally Posted by Mercurian

Try asking him not to do it in front of you, at the very least. Especially since you're pregnant it's easy to feel insecure. Tell him it will help you out if he at least shows you the decency of holding back this behavior when you're around. Tell him you don't need this extra stress.

Edit: and this is just the way I deal with things, but don't be afraid that he's gonna cheat on you. If he does, f##k him, you don't need him. If he doesn't, then that's great. But don't live in fear of it. You'll come off as more independent.

.. iitried that being funny about it,bt iistill seem to get hurt sumetimes,he will do it to myy friends& sister.. idk iff this is normal for guys to do or he has a prob & Will tell him that,before my babyshower,because teir will be a lot of girls.

So is teir sumething I can do to make him compliment me of its always going to b like this:\

alice26 · Nov 27, 2012, 08:00 AM

Its too late too leave myy boyfriend now ,I love him ,we are expecteing ,but what sad& worries me is that teir is no trust,I wonder if this relationship will ever work.I don't want it to end.I want to fix it but don't know how.he doesn't tink its fair I can talk to my guy friends & he can't talk to his girlfriend.. the difference between us ,he's a flirt& I'm not.I have found that girls he just Kalled friends,he slept with or liked so this is why iicant trust him talking to girls.. Wat to do from here?

Gdav16 · Nov 27, 2012, 08:15 AM

It's a tough one. Have you sat down and told him exactly how you feel? One of the biggest problems in relationships is lack of communication and being too scared to say what's on your mind. Especially with a baby coming you need to make sure your relationship is on track. Also stress etc isn't good for you. If he truly loves you he will listen to what you say. You may find he has big insecurities of his own.

Good luck.

alice26 · Nov 27, 2012, 08:21 AM

Originally Posted by Gdav16

Its a tough one. Have you sat down and told him exactly how you feel? One of the biggest problems in relationships is lack of communication and being too scared to say whats on your mind. Especially with a baby coming you need to make sure your relationship is on track. Also stress etc isnt good for you. If he truly loves you he will listen to what you say. you may find he has big insecurities of his own.

Good luck.

Yes we end up arguing,he says I always bring old but its not just old .because that's what made me not trust him,I want to trust him ,I don't want to live like this no more:\

Gdav16 · Nov 28, 2012, 02:42 AM

Its so hard. How old are you guys? You should consider maybe some relationahip counselling if you are sure that you want to continue in the relationship.

joypulv · Nov 28, 2012, 03:54 AM

You think it's OK to talk to your men friends and it's not OK for him to talk to women friends because he will SLEEP with them?
That's not how it works. No one gets to make rules. You are not his parent and he is not your child. You tell him how you feel, and if he keeps doing what you don't like, you leave him, baby on the way or not. How is this 'love?'

alice26 · Dec 3, 2012, 08:25 AM

Originally Posted by Gdav16

Its so hard. How old are you guys? you should consider maybe some relationahip counselling if you are sure that you want to continue in the relationship.

We are 22,going to be 23 on Feb ,the both are pieces,we moved in fast in our relationship,went from homless & ended up in our toes .we have been threew a lot ,he is my first love maybe that's y I won't leave& I bealive we can fix it ,OK should I start the trust by letting him talk to his old "friends " then
The love he shows ,then again he never wants to get married.& I do

joypulv · Dec 3, 2012, 08:36 AM

Alice, you don't 'let' an adult do something. The beginning of trust is seeing what is and being OK with it - and if not, then there's no trust. If you find out that he is too friendly with his female friends, you leave him, no matter how tough, and even if you have to go into a shelter again, with a baby. You can tell him that if he cheats that's what will happen, but don't do it while you are fighting. Just to let him know he doesn't have unconditional love.

alice26 · Dec 3, 2012, 08:49 AM

Originally Posted by joypulv

alice, you don't 'let' an adult do something. The beginning of trust is seeing what is and being OK with it - and if not, then there's no trust. If you find out that he is too friendly with his female friends, you leave him, no matter how tough, and even if you have to go into a shelter again, with a baby. You can tell him that if he cheats that's what will happen, but don't do it while you are fighting. Just to let him know he doesn't have unconditional love.

Yeah that's the prob ,his too friendly,I can't even bring him around my friends,he says he always been like that though,that his talkitive & likes to meet new people ,if I had known he was a flirt I would have not stayed that's how much I don't trust him,& what do you mean he doesn't have unconditional love? Ohh other ting I had sumwere to go ,he didn't& I stood by him& help him

joypulv · Dec 3, 2012, 08:54 AM

I meant that you need to let him know that even though you have a baby, you'll leave in a heartbeat if he strays.

Wondergirl · Dec 3, 2012, 08:56 AM

There's a difference between being talkative/meeting new people and flirting.

alice26 · Dec 3, 2012, 09:01 AM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

There's a difference between being talkative/meeting new people and flirting.

Ok thanks.. its just hard ,I'm new to all this & sumetimes don't know what to do or Handle it ,I'm glad I found this site:).. another ?s if his a flirt does that make him a cheater?

Wondergirl · Dec 3, 2012, 09:07 AM

Originally Posted by alice26

Ok thanks..its just hard ,I'm new to all this & sumetimes don't know wat to do or Handle it ,I'm glad I found this site:)..another ?s if his a flirt does that make him a cheater?

No, a flirt is not a cheater. It means he's easy going around people and knows how to tease and put people, especially women, at ease.

My dad was great with people and somewhat of a flirt. My mom was shy, terrified of people, and hid in the kitchen. I'm like my dad in that I have never met a person I didn't want to get to know better (even the dysfunctional ones), whereas my husband is happiest when everyone leaves him alone.

Actually, those two types are opposites but also good matches.