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lynn0323 · Oct 27, 2012, 07:31 AM

We met online 5 months ago. My BF was 4 years older than me and I'm 30 years old. We chatted almost every night. He laughed a lot and genuinely seemed to be happy and relaxed with me. He talked about his plan. He told me that he would like me to become his wife and that he'll focus on working hard to bring me with him. He is working in Australia but he is not a citizen there and doesn't have a Permanent Resident status. I am a citizen in The Philippines. He told me many times that he loves me and that he can't wait for me to be with him. I love him too and I feel the same way so I am also trying to prepare my papers but the cost for getting a visa is too much for us so we have to wait a little in order for us to save money to cover for everything. After 3 months, he suggested that we change our status in FB. He even made my picture as his photo cover, so I'm sure all his friends and relatives in FB knows about us.

Sometimes he calls me on my phone and just talk about everything and anything. Then suddenly, 8 days ago, he ignored me online. He was online in FB and I sent him a message but he didn't respond. After 2 days, we chatted in Skype and he told me that he needed to spend time for himself and decided that that night was for him. I understand that all of us needs time for ourselves so I told him that maybe next time, he'll let me know so I will not be waiting for him online to chat with me. He agreed. But the nights after that, he told me that he cannot chat because he is very tired and needs to sleep. I said Ok and let him slept. I left him 1 message every night. Some of the messages were viewed a day after I sent them. But some of those messages were not viewed. The reason I know this is because there's no time indicated that the messages were 'seen' at a certain time. He has not logged in to Skype but he is always logged in to Messenger but I don't know maybe he is not reading the messages there.

At first, I was upset but now I am worried. There's no sign that he has logged in to his FB because there are no activities there. I am worried that something bad happened to him. Everything is the same in his FB (same status with me and same photo cover).

I am confuse. For the men in here? Any inputs please. For the women? What should I do? I don't want to be a clingy GF because I don't want to choke him but am I doing it based on what I told you above?

yungmomof2 · Oct 27, 2012, 07:58 AM

Send a message stating exavtly how u feel... Neglected! Then you move on! If he what he made it seem he was (a true loving man) He would reach out to you faster than u know

Wondergirl · Oct 27, 2012, 08:02 AM

You've never had a real-life relationship with this man. It sounds like he has moved on in his life and maybe has even found other women to chat with. I strongly suggest you move on with your life too.

Homegirl 50 · Oct 27, 2012, 08:09 AM

Sounds to me like he has moved on, found someone else. But you can give him the benefit of doubt, send him a message saying you are worried and would just like to know he is OK. If you don't hear from him, assume he has probably opened another page and has moved on.

lynn0323 · Oct 27, 2012, 01:23 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

You've never had a real-life relationship with this man. It sounds like he has moved on in his life and maybe has even found other women to chat with. I strongly suggest you move on with your life too.

OK. But what should I do with our FB statuses? Should I change it first or should I wait for him to change it first? He's still using my picture as his cover photo, should I ask him to take it down?

Wondergirl · Oct 27, 2012, 01:25 PM

Originally Posted by lynn0323

OK. But what should I do with our FB statuses? Should I change it first or should I wait for him to change it first? He's still using my picture as his cover photo, should I ask him to take it down?

I would totally ignore him and stop communicating with him. Now that we are into the holiday season, change your picture to a Halloween one.

lynn0323 · Oct 27, 2012, 01:28 PM

Originally Posted by yungmomof2

Send a message stating exavtly how u feel... Neglected! Then you move on! If he what he made it seem he was (a true loving man) He would reach out to you faster than u know

Thank you for your response.. Any idea why there's no activity in his FB? The reason I ask is because before even if we don't chat and it's his Rest Day from work, he either post new pics, put likes to any shares, and any other stuffs that we do in FB that lets other people know that we were online.

What is he waiting for, why he hasn't taken out my pic yet as his cover photo. Should I change my status to single first or should I wait for him to change it first then I follow along?

lynn0323 · Oct 27, 2012, 01:52 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I would totally ignore him and stop communicating with him. Now that we are into the holiday season, change your picture to a Halloween one.

I really appreciate your responses.

Since he has moved on. It's awkward since he is still using my picture as his cover photo in FB and he is not changing his status, it's still shows as in relationship with me. How should I ask him to take my picture down?

talaniman · Oct 27, 2012, 02:00 PM

The thing about those online relationships is we never know what's going on, but when they distance themselves further then its time to pay a lot closer attention to your own life because that's what they are doing.

Dissapointing I know, but common when people cannot meet, or communicate. Change your status, and tell him to take down your picture.

Wondergirl · Oct 27, 2012, 02:26 PM

Originally Posted by lynn0323

How should i ask him to take my picture down?

I would say to totally ignore him and let him look like a fool, but can also go along with very-wise Tal's response to ask him to take it down. I would tell your guy only once, though, short and sweet and firm, and not turn it into a wheedling, whiny effort.

lynn0323 · Oct 27, 2012, 03:35 PM

Originally Posted by yungmomof2

Send a message stating exavtly how u feel... Neglected! Then you move on! If he what he made it seem he was (a true loving man) He would reach out to you faster than u know

Thank you.. I forgot to tell you guys that he is working almost 10 hours and sometimes 11 hours a day for 5 or 6 days. He said that during these hours, he is standing most of the time because he is a chef there. So, I completely understand if he says he is tired. I am also wondering why there's no activity in his FB when he always has an activity there specially during his Off day from work. Any comment on this?

Homegirl 50 · Oct 27, 2012, 05:16 PM

Do you have another way of reaching him? I understand that maybe he is tired, but I don't understand why he is not contacting you.
He he wanted to contact you he would. I think you need to forget about him.