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jjohnbboyd · Aug 8, 2012, 05:56 AM

Me and my girl broke up a week ago and she tells me that she's coming back home she just don't know when. She say she need the security that things won't be the same when she do come back. She say she still loves me with all her heart and everything that she is. We've had had sex twice since the break up and she still won't stay home. I don't understand how she can still love me with all of her heart, have sex with me but don't come back home. What could this mean?

joypulv · Aug 8, 2012, 08:35 AM

It depends - where did she go?
It sounds like you left out a key bit of information about this 'security' that she needs. Her parents? A husband? A rich aunt? What?
You know most questions people ask here can be answered very easily, quickly, and more accurately BY THE PERSON YOU HAVE THE QUESTIONS FOR.

Homegirl 50 · Aug 8, 2012, 08:39 AM

Was she living with you and left?
You need to give more details about what's going on. Why did she leave you?

jjohnbboyd · Aug 8, 2012, 04:43 PM

Yes we were living together until she say she needed time apart because we have a lot arguments

Wondergirl · Aug 8, 2012, 04:46 PM

What was going on between you two that caused her to leave? More than arguments? About other girls?

mmresd · Aug 8, 2012, 06:35 PM

It means she is becoming overwhelmed, either you cool things off at the house when she comes back, or she is leaving for good.

Homegirl 50 · Aug 8, 2012, 08:09 PM

It means you work on whatever issues are having or she is not coming back.

jjohnbboyd · Oct 19, 2012, 12:43 PM

Me and my girl been together 1 year and two months now. We just had a baby together this year on june/25/2012. Through this whole relationship we have been off and on from arguments. A couple of days ago we were laying in bed and a text came to her phone from her ex she were dating before me. The text said: " ill be in town in the morning and I want to see my son ". I asked her what was going on and she gave me this real nervous look on her face. Very fast I got upset and hurt and start calling her every name in the book. I was so hurt that I told her to leave the house, don't come back and I don't ever want to be with her anymore. Later on that day she called me and told me that she was sure that the baby was minds and she wants to continue with our plans of getting married in November. I told her that I want a dna test first before we proceed any further with our plans and she told me that was fine. A whole week has went by and she don't call, text, or answer my phone calls. I'm starting to get the impression that she is avoiding taking the dna test because she know that the baby is not mines. Today was the first time she texted me and she told me she loves me and she wishes me the best of luck. She told me she have a lot. Of things going on in her life and she need time to clear her head. Oh yea, and she been receiving money from her ex since we've been together. Me personaly, I think the reason she isn't calling me, texting me, or answering my phone calls is because she has hooked up with her ex. Somebody help me. Do any of you think she has hooked up with ex? Ask me questions to help you understand my situation more if you don't understand.

joypulv · Oct 19, 2012, 12:56 PM

So back on Aug 8 you forgot to mention this tiny wee baby... there's your answer, and there's the 'security' we were all wondering about. Security. That means money, providing, helping, driving, a safe place to live... do you have any of that?

jjohnbboyd · Oct 19, 2012, 01:03 PM

Originally Posted by joypulv

So back on Aug 8 you forgot to mention this tiny wee baby... there's your answer, and there's the 'security' we were all wondering about. Security. That means money, providing, helping, driving, a safe place to live... do you have any of that?

Yes I have a job I've at for two years now. I have my own place but no car. She has a car though. She started working a month ago but before then I took care of her.

jjohnbboyd · Oct 19, 2012, 01:10 PM

Originally Posted by jjohnbboyd

Yes I have a job I've at for two years now. I have my own place but no car. She has a car though. She jus started working a month ago but before then I took care of her.

I really feel like she just used me.

Wondergirl · Oct 19, 2012, 01:15 PM

Originally Posted by jjohnbboyd

I really feel like she just used me.

Had you always been under the impression the baby was yours?

jjohnbboyd · Oct 19, 2012, 01:23 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Had you always been under the impression the baby was yours?

I've always felt like the baby was mines since he was born but why would her ex feel like its his? Is it something she's telling him? Why is she still comunicating with her ex? Plus she already have two kids that's not mines and I support them like their mines. I'm only 22 and she's 25, I need to know if I need to move on, pursue her or wait on her to make her mind up.

Wondergirl · Oct 19, 2012, 01:28 PM

Had she broken up with him and then moved in with you right away? Like, she quick needed a sugar daddy to support her and her kids?

Homegirl 50 · Oct 19, 2012, 01:31 PM

I think you need to find out if the child is yours and then make arrangements to take care of the child if it is and leave her alone

Cat1864 · Oct 19, 2012, 01:32 PM

Originally Posted by jjohnbboyd

I've always felt like the baby was mines since he was born but why would her ex feel like its his? Is it something she's telling him? Why is she still comunicating with her ex? Plus she already have two kids that's not mines and I support them like their mines. I'm only 22 and she's 25, I jus need to know if I need to move on, pursue her or jus wait on her to make her mind up.

Are her older children, his? When they were together did he treat them like they were? Are they both girls?

Right now, you need to get a DNA test. After you know what your responsibilities to this child are, you can be concerned about your relationship with her.

If you are the father, then you will have to work with her to raise your child whether she 'played' you or not.

jjohnbboyd · Oct 19, 2012, 01:41 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Had she broken up with him and then moved in with you right away? like, she quick needed a sugar daddy to support her and her kids?

Man that really hurts if that's the case, I really love this girl. Her two other kids call me step daddy and I'm really attached to all the kids now. I've actually talked to him and he said he were having sex with her a month before me and her got together. He said she told him while she was pregnant that it was his baby and that is why he been supporting her financilly. She say she love me and I'm the only one she want to be with but she don't show it a lot. Like, I'm going through a lot of things in my life right now she is showing no concerns about it. She says we are a family but I had to go to court by myself today. I ask her were she seeing someone else so I can know where we are in our relationship and she promised me she wasn't. She said no one can take her away from me, but I can't tell. If she was would she tell me the truth?

Wondergirl · Oct 19, 2012, 01:44 PM

But she is still communicating with him and he thinks the baby is his. Yes, definitely get that DNA test taken care of.

And I am so sorry she is giving you doubts about the relationship. You sound like the perfect partner and daddy who has a lot of love and security to give.

Cat1864 · Oct 19, 2012, 01:48 PM

Originally Posted by jjohnbboyd

Man that really hurts if that's the case, I really love this girl. Her two other kids call me step daddy and I'm really attached to all the kids now. I've actually talked to him and he said he were having sex with her a month before me and her got together. He said she told him while she was pregnant that it was his baby and that is why he been supporting her financilly. She say she love me and I'm the only one she wanna be with but she don't show it a lot. Like, I'm going through a lot of things in my life right now she is showing no concerns about it. She says we are a family but I had to go to court by myself today. I ask her were she seeing someone else so I can know where we are in our relationship and she promised me she wasnt. She said noone can take her away from me, but I can't tell. If she was would she tell me the truth?

May I ask why you had to go to court? Is this for something that might impact your relationship with her?

If she just started a job, would she have been able to go to court with you or would work/taking care of children have prevented her attendance?

jjohnbboyd · Oct 19, 2012, 02:12 PM

Originally Posted by Cat1864

May I ask why you had to go to court? Is this for something that might impact your relationship with her?

If she just started a job, would she have been able to go to court with you or would work/taking care of children have prevented her attendance?

Ok, I have two other kids by another from years ago and she gave up her rights to my kids and put them in foster care. They are now 3 and 4. I've been fighting for them for four years now. The girl I'm with now have a criminal background for assault. So cps tells me if I want my kids then I have to get rid of her because she cause my first two not to come because of her criminal background. Because I love her sooo much, I was sneaking to continue to be with her so that when my kids come home I can have a family them. I was nervouse raising two kids on my own with no other family members to help me. I thought I was building a foundation for my kids and giving them a better lif than I had. So one day my girl that I'm with now gets real angry because one of my friend girls from college sent me a text message saying to me her in the food court so when can study. So my girl starts slapping me and tearing up my apartment because she was angry. So I kicked her out and put her clothes out and then she called the police and said I pushed her down. So now I have a assault case and my lawyer said its going to stop me from getting my kids that I've been fighting for four years now. My lawyer said he can get the case dismissed if she testify on my behalf but she is not answering the phone. It looks like like I've lost my kids, my family with her and my freedom. Smh all I wanted was a family for me and my kids. I've been trying to break this generation curse because I've been in foster care as a kid also. Don't look like I have much luck