[CPMcLoughlin]

My husband a banded us about three years aga and I would like my son to have my last name.what should I do?

[JudyKayTee]

My husband a banded us about three years aga and I would like my son to have my last name.what should I do?

I assume you mean abandoned. Where? You would have to get your husband's permission to legally change you son's last name in accordance with the law.

[CPMcLoughlin]

I don't know where he is

[JudyKayTee]

I don't know where he is

He can be served by publication - the Court orders that the info be published in a certain newpaper, using certain wording.

What do you intend to accomplish by changing your son's last name? It will not change the father's "right" to visitation (if he pursues visitation) and does not change his obligation to support the child.

[Fr_Chuck]

You will have to go to court, and if he is not there to sign, attempts to find him according to court requirements will have to be done. And then procedure for service if he can not be found followed.

[CPMcLoughlin]

He can be served by publication - the Court orders that the info be published in a certain newpaper, using certain wording.

What do you intend to accomplish by changing your son's last name? It will not change the father's "right" to visitation (if he pursues visitation) and does not change his obligation to support the child.

He made it clear he wants no part of us and I am tired of waiting around for him to remember that he has a child,his only child as far as I know.he gave up any rights a long time ago.I just want to make it legal.

[J_9]

Ma'am, changing your child's last name will not take away your ex husband's rights. That will only give him a legal name change and your ex will have the right to be a part of his life if, and whenever, he chooses.

I think what you are wanting is a termination of parental rights? If so, that is usually only done when there is step-parent adoption.

[CPMcLoughlin]

Ma'am, changing your child's last name will not take away your ex husband's rights. That will only give him a legal name change and your ex will have the right to be a part of his life if, and whenever, he chooses.

I think what you are wanting is a termination of parental rights? If so, that is usually only done when there is step-parent adoption.

I would love that but there is no step parent in our life I just don't want anything to do with him.my sons therapist knows what I want to do and why.I think I have every right to do this.he gave up that right when he walked away and never looked back.

[Fr_Chuck]

No, you have the right to file for child support and get child supporment enforcement after him for payments. You have the right to file for full custody( assume you have)

You have the right to hunt him down for the child support.

No, he has not signed over any rights, that is just not done and most areas will not take rights away just for not visiting and not paying court ordered support.

So I assume you do but ?
Do you have full custody though the court?
Do you have a order for child support and is he not paying ?

But for changing a name, no there is no "rights" to that at all, there are legal requirements and one is notification of the father and attempting to get his permission.
The fact that you feel his actions makes this justified does not make it so.

Also changing his name, does not change any rights he may have in the future if he latter goes back to court to get his rights honored

[ScottGem]

He did not give up his rights, he has just decided not to use them.

As noted, you will have to file a petition in Family Court for a name change. The court will require that you identify and attempt to contact the father for permission. You will have to prove you have made a good faith attempt to find him. If you do so, there is a good chance the change will be granted.

I would suggest consulting and hiring an attorney to do this.

[JudyKayTee]

I would love that but there is no step parent in our life I just don't want anything to do with him.my sons therapist knows what I want to do and why.i think I have every right to do this.he gave up that right when he walked away and never looked back.

Did you read what everyone posted? No, you have no "right" to do this, and that's the legal answer because you asked on a legal board.

You cannot force a father to be a Dad.

And, no, he didn't give up any rights, unfortunately for you and your son.

[ScottGem]

I just don't want anything to do with him.my sons therapist knows what I want to do and why.i think I have every right to do this.he gave up that right when he walked away and never looked back.

I have said many times that it would be great if two people would look at each other and wonder whether the other would make a good father or mother before engaging in sex together. Heck, they should ask themselves whether they are ready to be a parent before they engage in sex.

The point of the above is that you chose to have sex with this man. When you made that choice, you involved him in you and your child's life. So, legally, you have no right to deny him that involvement if he wants it. A parent does not give up their rights by not exercising them. Though it could make it harder for them to exercise the rights in the future. But only a court can terminate parental rights and courts are very reluctant to do so.

That is why, you have to show you have made a good faith effort to contact the father and obtain his permission for a name change. This is what the law says you have to do, whether you think it right or not.

[CPMcLoughlin]

Did you read what everyone posted? No, you have no "right" to do this, and that's the legal answer because you asked on a legal board.

You cannot force a father to be a Dad.

And, no, he didn't give up any rights, unfortunately for you and your son.

What efforts do I need to do before I can change his lasy names?

[Fr_Chuck]

Efforts

1. Contact him if you really know where he is and ask his permission, if he says yes, great he signs, no issues.

2. If you don't know where he is, you hire an attorney, file in court for name change, attempt to find him is reqired, if he can not be found, then public notice is normally done, and then a hearing with a judge, to show reasons for the change.
The judge may allow, or may not allow.

[ScottGem]

What efforts do i need to do before i can change his lasy names?

That will vary by location and court. That's why you need an attorney. Common methods is service by publication, hiring an PI, etc.

[CPMcLoughlin]

I moved a few years ago and now I need to file for sole custody of my child.witch state do I file?

[ScottGem]

If the father remains in the same state where you originally filed, then that state retains jurisdiction. Otherwise it is where the child resides.