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    annabear's Avatar
    annabear Posts: 58, Reputation: 3
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    #1

    Oct 5, 2012, 11:23 PM
    How to get this girl to cuddle with me?
    I will probably need some younger people to relate to this question and answer it~ I really REALLY like this one girl but I'm really shy around her. I don't know if she likes me, and we are just friends. We are going to the movies to see a scary movie, and I want to know how to GO ABOUT cuddling her, and how exactly to cuddle her when I do get the chance. Basically, I want to know how to approach it. It will be difficult in the movies, and also because we are only friends.. For now. I need your help!
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Oct 6, 2012, 01:58 AM
    Does she view this as a date ? Or does she view it as two friends just going to a movie.

    If she is not wanting to be more than a friend, then you ruin a friendship. So it should be clear this is a date.

    Next when it starts getting scary you just put your arm around her, if she does not want it, she will brush it off.
    C0bra_M3nace's Avatar
    C0bra_M3nace Posts: 1,296, Reputation: 223
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    #3

    Oct 6, 2012, 04:06 AM
    If you're both just friends you need to slow down a bit. You need to find out if she's feeling the same way. If she's just into being friends with you then you could throw your friendship away.

    Be careful.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #4

    Oct 6, 2012, 04:23 AM
    You don't think older people can relate? We've been through this already. We've made the mistakes, learned what works and what doesn't. Do you want advice from people like that or people with little or no experience?

    Can you tell us what YOU mean by cuddle? That can make a difference in our answers. It can also help to know how old you are. How did this idea of going to the movies come about and are you going in a group?

    I agree with the others, the first thing is to define where this is a date or not. If you are afraid to discuss this you probably shouldn't make and moves. But you can try taking cues from her. Put your hand closest to her on your knee palm up fingers spread. See if she moves towards you as things get scary. If she takes your hand. If she does and starts squeezing you can try switching hands and putting your arm around her.
    annabear's Avatar
    annabear Posts: 58, Reputation: 3
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    #5

    Oct 6, 2012, 02:18 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    Does she view this as a date ? or does she view it as two friends just going to a movie.

    If she is not wanting to be more than a friend, then you ruin a friendship. So it should be clear this is a date.

    Next when it starts getting scary you just put your arm around her, if she does not want it, she will brush it off.
    Well I honestly think she's bisexual. Or bi-curious. Because a while ago we were just talking about kissing and stuff. But that all kind of faded. It's not a date, but it's also not just two friends going to the movies. I think she liked me at one point but I don't know if she still does.
    annabear's Avatar
    annabear Posts: 58, Reputation: 3
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    #6

    Oct 6, 2012, 02:20 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by C0bra_M3nace View Post
    If you're both just friends you need to slow down a bit. You need to find out if she's feeling the same way. If she's just into being friends with you then you could throw your friendship away.

    Be careful.
    We are friends and I think she liked me at one point and I even told her I've had feelings for her and everything and she thought it was cute and we are still friends. I think she's bi/bi-curious too.. I'm not sure
    C0bra_M3nace's Avatar
    C0bra_M3nace Posts: 1,296, Reputation: 223
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    #7

    Oct 7, 2012, 06:01 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by annabear View Post
    We are friends and I think she liked me at one point and I even told her I've had feelings for her and everything and she thought it was cute and we are still friends. I think shes bi/bi-curious too.. I'm not sure
    You can't know for sure unless she tells you that. Why not try talking to her more, find out where she is in the friendship instead of just confessing your feelings
    annabear's Avatar
    annabear Posts: 58, Reputation: 3
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    #8

    Oct 7, 2012, 09:21 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by C0bra_M3nace View Post
    You can't know for sure unless she tells you that. Why not try talking to her more, find out where she is in the friendship instead of just confessing your feelings
    Well she straight up told me one day that she was pretty sure she was bisexual. And I do think she has feelings for me. But I will take into consideration about finding out where she is in the friendship
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #9

    Oct 7, 2012, 09:26 PM
    Nothing worse than going to the movies with a guy you think is a friend, and knows he's just a friend, and he ends up hitting on you.

    Talk to her, ask her if she's interested. You don't seem very sure about any of this. You say you're going as friends, but not as friends. Is that understood by both of you, or just how you feel?

    You say she's bisexual. What does that have to do with her going to the movies with you?

    Talk to her. That's the only way you'll figure anything out. If you can't talk to her then go to the movie as her friend and keep your hands in your lap.

    Good luck.
    annabear's Avatar
    annabear Posts: 58, Reputation: 3
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    #10

    Oct 7, 2012, 09:32 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Alty View Post
    Nothing worse than going to the movies with a guy you think is a friend, and knows he's just a friend, and he ends up hitting on you.

    Talk to her, ask her if she's interested. You don't seem very sure about any of this. You say you're going as friends, but not as friends. Is that understood by both of you, or just how you feel?

    You say she's bisexual. What does that have to do with her going to the movies with you?

    Talk to her. That's the only way you'll figure anything out. If you can't talk to her then go to the movie as her friend and keep your hands in your lap.

    Good luck.
    Well we are both girls so that's why I added the bisexual part
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #11

    Oct 7, 2012, 09:45 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by annabear View Post
    Well we are both girls so that's why I added the bisexual part
    Okay, I see.

    Here's the issue. You keep saying that you're friends, going to the movies as friends. Then you said that you're friends but not just friends. Is this confirmed, or wishful thinking on your part?

    It sounds like this girl just wants to be your friend, and wants to go to the movies as friends.

    One thing to keep in mind, if she is bisexual that doesn't mean that she's attracted to every guy and every girl she meets. It doesn't mean that she's attracted to you, just because you're gay or bi. It means that she is attracted to both sexes, but not every person that comes along. It could be that she's not attracted to you, even though you're available. Do you understand what I'm saying?

    You have a few choices. You can go to the movies as friends. You can go to the movies, make a move, and potentially end up losing a friend, or you could tell her that you're attracted to her, that you'd like to know if she feels the same way, and if she doesn't, you'd like to stay friends.

    Talking to her about this is the best option. :)
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #12

    Oct 8, 2012, 03:02 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by annabear View Post
    Well we are both girls so that's why I added the bisexual part
    I had a feeling that was the case. You really should have mentioned that up front as it may have changed our responses.

    I asked earlier for your definition of cuddling. I have the feeling that what you are talking about is sexual. Adding sexual intimacy to a relationship changes it considerably. So you really need to talk about this with her.

    So when are you/did you have this movie excursion?
    annabear's Avatar
    annabear Posts: 58, Reputation: 3
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    #13

    Oct 8, 2012, 03:15 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by ScottGem View Post
    I had a feeling that was the case. You really should have mentioned that up front as it may have changed our responses.

    I asked earlier for your definition of cuddling. I have the feeling that what you are talking about is sexual. Adding sexual intimacy to a relationship changes it considerably. So you really need to talk about this with her.

    So when are you/did you have this movie excursion?
    No no it's not sexual at all. I don't really know how else to define cuddling for ME but, mostly just showing intimacy. But it's like a cuddle that people that are MORE than friends would do..
    I just want to know how I would go about starting to do that in a movie theatre. I've been to movies with her in the past (they were all horror movies) and she is always clingy and jumping on me at scary parts so.. I think this helps.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #14

    Oct 8, 2012, 04:32 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by annabear View Post
    I just wanna know how I would go about starting to do that in a movie theatre. I've been to movies with her in the past (they were all horror movies) and she is always clingy and jumping on me at scary parts so.. I think this helps.
    That sounds like cuddling to me. Hugging holding on, etc.

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