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Maya blue · Sep 30, 2012, 12:42 AM

Hi. I'm a 20 year old girl. I met this guy I thought was 21-23 years old. Fun, gentleman, focused, very funny and sweet. Then I found out he was 16. I really really like him and I'm not at all after sex. He just makes me laugh and makes me happy. What do I do? Can I get in trouble if I dated him? And those whose answer will be to type perv in Capslock, I don't need badgering. This is hard enough for me and I'm no perv.

Maya

cdad · Sep 30, 2012, 05:26 AM

Yes you could get into deep trouble. Your best to stay away from a relationship until this person is of age 18. Otherwise your walking a tightrope that could land you in jail and with a lifetime to register as a sex offender.

http://www.ageofconsent.us/state-laws/nebraska-age-of-consent-laws/

ScottGem · Sep 30, 2012, 08:57 AM

First, please do not attempt to dictate who can respond or how. If you feel a response violate our rules feel free to report it, but once you post a question, you open yourself for any response.that is valid.

I don't think you are a perv at all and I don't think very many of our members would. You entered into this believing he was an appropriate age. Though I am curious as to how you made that mistake. Now that you found out his true age, you are, appropriately concerned about this relationship and asking for advice.

The bottom line here is there are no laws covering dating. It is not illegal to date anyone. However, the people you need to talk to are his parents. Because they have to approve. If they are OK with your dating (AND you keep your promise about no sex). Then you are OK legally.

I would approach them by complementing them on how well they raised him. So that you found him gentlemanly, sweet, mature, etc.

I do have to caution you however. I don't know how much time you have spent with him and doing what. But generally a 16 yr old and a 20 yr old are at very different stages of their lives. In less than a year you will be able to go to bars and clubs. He won't. He is concerned with graduating HS. And frankly his hormones may be raging and he will likely see an older woman willing to date him as willing to put out.

So this is a minefield for you and I would advise telling him to call you when he's 18.

Maya blue · Sep 30, 2012, 11:37 AM

Thank you :). I'm not from here and where I'm from, people's bodies don't mature as fast as they do here. So by looking at him, I figured he was my age or older.
About his parents, that's what I was planning to do but it is quite tricky.
We go to movies, the park and lunch on weekends since we're both pretty busy on week days.
And as for the perv part, I'd posted it elsewhere and someone was very rude. It was hurtful because I'm not like that.
Thanks again.

cdad · Sep 30, 2012, 11:45 AM

Originally Posted by Maya blue

Thank you :). I'm not from here and where I'm from, people's bodies don't mature as fast as they do here. So by looking at him, I figured he was my age or older.
About his parents, that's what I was planning to do but it is quite tricky.
We go to movies, the park and lunch on weekends since we're both pretty busy on week days.
And as for the perv part, I'd posted it elsewhere and someone was very rude. It was hurtful coz I'm not like that.
Thanx again.

What you have to try to understand is that as the "adult" in this situation there is so much that can go wrong. Even talking about certain feelings with him can present a problem. Also it is a legal midfield as has been said as there is so many laws you could be breaking knowing or unknowingly. This is one of those tie where your just going to have to put on your big girl pants and make some hard decisions. If your both truly serious then you both can wait. Please think about that.

ScottGem · Sep 30, 2012, 02:43 PM

Originally Posted by Maya blue

Thank you :). I'm not from here and where I'm from, people's bodies don't mature as fast as they do here. So by looking at him, I figured he was my age or older.
About his parents, that's what I was planning to do but it is quite tricky.
We go to movies, the park and lunch on weekends since we're both pretty busy on week days.
And as for the perv part, I'd posted it elsewhere and someone was very rude. It was hurtful coz I'm not like that.
Thanx again.

First, Where did you meet him? I would suspect that it was in a situation where you would expect the guys to be older. How did you find out his age? And had you started dating before you did?

Second, Here's a problem. Apparently you have continued to date him, even after knowing his age. As soon as you knew you needed to talk to his parents. How do you think his parents are going to react when they find you have been seeing him behind their backs?

What is "tricky" about it? You tell him next weekend you are coming to his house to talk to his parents. If his parents forbid the relationship you back off.

Finally, people will be rude. A 20 yr old having a romantic relationship with a 16 yr old is highly suspect. If you plan on continuing this (with parental consent) then be prepared for people being rude. And, frankly, I'm concerned that you haven't talked to his parents before going any further.

Maya blue · Oct 1, 2012, 02:56 PM

So, an update. We arranged a meeting with his parents and I got their consent :-). Yaaaaaaay! Now all I have to do is see how well we get along and exactly how well me mesh within the next two years and if all goes well, we can make it official. If it doesn't then I'm certain we'll still make amazing friends. Thanks a lot for the advice :-)

Cheers!

ScottGem · Oct 1, 2012, 03:01 PM

Good luck. You must have done a real good selling job on the 'rents.

Maya blue · Oct 1, 2012, 03:40 PM

You did tell me how to approach. Thank you. I'll see how it goes :)