Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    Fiddels's Avatar
    Fiddels Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #41

    Sep 11, 2012, 02:35 PM
    Okay fair enough.

    I live with my two brothers during the week, and on the weekend we go to our parent's house. Why would I want them to know I'm gay?

    -----

    Me and my younger brother*, my older brother stays here.


    Quote Originally Posted by Goldentetra View Post
    My friend is doing great. He's one of those effervescent people who really lives every ounce of life. Honestly his life is a giant party, I'm kinda jealous :)

    In my opinion, telling your friends your problems isn't selfish as long as you are there for them too. Obviously dumping everything on them and then leaving them when they need you isn't great.

    If you are feeling suicidal you should talk to someone, I don't know about peer as its a bit tough for some 15 year olds to respond the best to that (although better than nothing I think). See what the other say I'm no expert, just another human.

    Do you have any trusted adults in your life? There might be some phone life lines in your area where you could chat to someone about this if not.

    I can't emphasise enough how much being your age sucks but it gets so much better. I went away to uni and felt like a different person (I also wanted to kill myself but I didn't have half the problems you have to deal with.)

    You will meet someone like him, probably even better!
    Glad to hear that, I would be jealous too! :)

    And yeah the problem sharing is mutual, neither of us would dare just dumping all our problems without hearing out how they are first, it wouldn't be right.

    I don't feel I can trust anyone else really, not anyone else that would understand at least.

    Thank you Golden, it means a lot. :)
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
    Uber Member
     
    #42

    Sep 11, 2012, 02:44 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Goldentetra View Post
    You will meet someone like him, probably even better!

    Would you please add a word of caution about having sex under the age of consent?

    He's 15.
    Fiddels's Avatar
    Fiddels Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #43

    Sep 11, 2012, 02:55 PM
    No need for that. ;)
    Goldentetra's Avatar
    Goldentetra Posts: 23, Reputation: 3
    New Member
     
    #44

    Sep 11, 2012, 02:59 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    Would you please add a word of caution about having sex under the age of consent?

    He's 15.
    Sorry, I meant in the future, I didn't expect him to find someone straight away, and also you can have a relationship without sex :) I was thinking more about when he leaves home and can find more like minded people. School is a very strange environment.

    Fiddels, I hope your feeling a little better. Look after yourself, I mean it. I wouldn't tell the teacher about your feelings for him because it'll just end up in a big messy pile of mess. But I think you got that message already.

    Right, I'm off to bed, ciao for now.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
    Uber Member
     
    #45

    Sep 11, 2012, 03:19 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Fiddels View Post
    No need for that. ;)

    Would you answer how your friends know you are gay, have come out, but your brothers and parents don't?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #46

    Sep 11, 2012, 07:42 PM
    You do have a lot on your plate, and little help to guide you through the process of sorting things out. That's a shame sort of but understandable considering your age and lack of experience. I even can see that keeping yourself a secret is easier than coming out to people that may not understand you. Its truly scary I know.

    You definitely need a true older male you trust to talk to, but at this time one you are attracted to may not be the best choice. Maybe when you have gotten control of your emotions, and can stay within appropriate boundaries, he may be a reliable source of guidance, and advice.

    Until then... you have us! We may be tough, but fair!
    Fiddels's Avatar
    Fiddels Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #47

    Sep 11, 2012, 10:34 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    Would you answer how your friends know you are gay, have come out, but your brothers and parents don't?
    Told my friends, not my family.

    And tal, thank you. It's going to be difficult, but I will keep my emotions under control. :)
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #48

    Sep 11, 2012, 10:48 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Fiddels View Post
    Forgot to mention my parents are homophobes, and my dad has already threatened that if I ever came out he'd kill me, he's attacked me before so I want to avoid that route.
    What does this mean? He thinks you are gay but doesn't want you to admit it?
    C0bra_M3nace's Avatar
    C0bra_M3nace Posts: 1,296, Reputation: 223
    Ultra Member
     
    #49

    Sep 12, 2012, 03:44 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    What does this mean? He thinks you are gay but doesn't want you to admit it?
    My guess is that it's his fathers fear and he's openly expressing it towards him but it could mean he's suspicious.


    Quote Originally Posted by Fiddels
    "Told my friends, not my family."
    No Fiddels, what we don't understand is how you can tell your friends, having siblings around your age, and your siblings not hear about it? That part is not making sense.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
    Uber Member
     
    #50

    Sep 12, 2012, 05:59 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by C0bra_M3nace View Post
    My guess is that it's his fathers fear and he's openly expressing it towards him but it could mean he's suspicious.

    No Fiddels, what we don't understand is how you can tell your friends, having siblings around your age, and your siblings not hear about it? That part is not making sense.

    I've asked the same question two or three times - apparently OP has no answer.
    C0bra_M3nace's Avatar
    C0bra_M3nace Posts: 1,296, Reputation: 223
    Ultra Member
     
    #51

    Sep 12, 2012, 06:11 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    I've asked the same question two or three times - apparently OP has no answer.
    By we I meant you and I.

    I agree with you, I find it odd that all his friends know but no word has come of it to his siblings.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
    Uber Member
     
    #52

    Sep 12, 2012, 06:27 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by C0bra_M3nace View Post
    By we I meant you and I.

    I agree with you, I find it odd that all his friends know but no word has come of it to his siblings.

    I realized that - I just meant that despite the requests, he chose not to answer. No problem - and I'd still like to know.
    C0bra_M3nace's Avatar
    C0bra_M3nace Posts: 1,296, Reputation: 223
    Ultra Member
     
    #53

    Sep 12, 2012, 06:40 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    I realized that - I just meant that despite the requests, he chose not to answer. No problem - and I'd still like to know.


    He did somewhat answer, just not specifically.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fiddles
    Told my friends, not my family.
    Fiddels's Avatar
    Fiddels Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #54

    Sep 12, 2012, 08:30 AM
    Why would they know if I haven't told them? How is it odd?
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #55

    Sep 12, 2012, 08:41 AM
    I think parents and siblings know if you are gay. They may not want to admit or deal with it, but they know.
    You said yourself your father knows and forbids you to "come out".

    Just be very careful. This is not an easy life for a teen. But use your head. Don't let your emotions guide you. You can't speak or act on everything you feel.
    I wish you well.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #56

    Sep 12, 2012, 08:42 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Fiddels View Post
    Why would they know if I haven't told them? How is it odd?
    Does your father suspect you are gay?
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #57

    Sep 12, 2012, 08:45 AM
    He said in an earlier post " my dad has already threatened that if I ever came out he'd kill me, he's attacked me before so I want to avoid that route."
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
    Uber Member
     
    #58

    Sep 12, 2012, 08:46 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Fiddels View Post
    Why would they know if I haven't told them? How is it odd?

    Because you've come out to your friends - you don't think things of this nature filter down through families and friends?

    And, yes, I agree - your father very well may know and just doesn't want to hear the words.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #59

    Sep 12, 2012, 08:47 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    He said in an earlier post " my dad has already threatened that if I ever came out he'd kill me, he's attacked me before so I want to avoid that route."
    Yes, I know and I have quoted him, but am still waiting for his confirmation. Seems like the public affirmation is what his father fears. Then the father thinks that is a reflection on himself and his masculinity?
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
    Uber Member
     
    #60

    Sep 12, 2012, 09:26 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Yes, I know and I have quoted him, but am still waiting for his confirmation. Seems like the public affirmation is what his father fears. Then the father thinks that is a reflection on himself and his masculinity?

    I agree - the father may know. He just doesn't want to hear it.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

How attach boiler plate with boiler shell and how should be degree for welding plate [ 0 Answers ]

How is attach boiler plate with boiler shell and how should be ' v ' (degree) for welding

Boyfriend has a lot on his plate right now? [ 17 Answers ]

So I've been with my boyfriend for almost two weeks (I know it's not a long time). But after a little over a week I noticed he'd become distant and less affectionate. So I asked him about it. He is a cop and recently had to switch his schedule to 3rd shift. He said that he was stressed out because...

What type of plate boundary is parallel to the direction of the plate movement? [ 4 Answers ]

What type of plate boundary is parallel to the direction of the plate movement?

Decorative Swith Plate or Wall Plate and Switches [ 5 Answers ]

We're looking to replace our standard switch plates with "decorative" plates, mainly in the kitchen backsplash. We have seen plenty of options for the plates, from pewter to copper to nickel, etc. Are there options for the actual switches themselves? Can we get switches, such as simple light...

Old dog poops and pees a lot a lot a lot [ 4 Answers ]

I just rescued a very old dalmatian from my neighbors she has tumors all over Her body and she is very thin . I started her on good food. I feed her a cup in a half a day And water is always available. She poops so much 5 times a day? I keep my dogs in the sun room at night when we get up there...


View more questions Search