[bparkman2011]

I agree and she says there is a final decree, but she can not come up with it and I have searched OK data base for one and there is a docket, but the case was dismissed years ago. She had to provide a written statement and failed to do so, the case shows to have been dismissed. I can not find another case or where it was ever finalized. Can the state of OK garnish my wages if she was getting food stamps?

[Fr_Chuck]

Child support has nothing to do with divorce, ( although often done at same time) same with child custody

The state just as the father of the child, can garnish your wages, divorced or not divorced, for child support.

You can not just go remove your current marriage, you can file for an annullment based on the grounds you were married at the time it happened, but that is also confessing to a crime, so I am not sure I would do that.

You will need to hire an attorney or a legal researcher in the state and court where the divorce was to happen, they will need to review all of the actual records.

If there is no final divorce you will need to either, reopen or what ever is required to make it final.

Then you get remarried to your current wife.

If you find proof it is final, no issues

[JudyKayTee]

I agree and she says there is a final decree, but she can not come up with it and I have searched OK data base for one and there is a docket, but the case was dismissed years ago. She had to provide a written statement and failed to do so, the case shows to have been dismissed. I can not find another case or where it was ever finalized. Can the state of OK garnish my wages if she was getting food stamps?

Yes, the State which provided benefits to your children can garnish your wages in order to get repaid.

[bparkman2011]

What if she was convicted of food stamp fraud, and had to repay herself, what she received, can they still go after me

[Fr_Chuck]

We could play what if all day, so was she convicted of food stamp fraud ?

Thinking she was divorced will not be food stamp fraud.

You need to deal with the divorce, final answer, all other questions are mute
You owed child support since she had the kids, the divorce not being final will not change any child custody or support orders

[cdad]

What part of the divorce is it you believe is missing for it to be final? Is this the fault of the courts or one of the parties involved? There are legal means for turning the clock back but it has specific rules to go with it.

Do you know of what the last filings were in your case for divorce?

[bparkman2011]

Last thing on the docket shows order allowing counsel to withdraw, then case dismissed for lack of prosecution, and lastly crt orders dismissal of 10-1-02 set aside; PLF ordered to file a written statement w/in 30 days. Per Court order case imaged and destroyed.
She was the PLF and didn't follow through. However she was remarried in the same county the month prior to this dismissal...
I have no problem with taking care of my kids, and will continue to do so, but when I am accused of oweing $25,000 in back child support, it kind of gets me to wondering how in the world I could owe that much when I was NEVER ordered to pay in the first place.
She was on food stamps, however, SHE was charged with FRAUD and was ordered to pay it all back, but I am still paying for what she has already paid as well.
On top of all that my kids are now teenagers and their mother does NOT give them the child support. She is allowing my 16 year old to live with someone else, but refuses to help her financially, and the EX gets child support every other week in the amount of $800!

[cdad]

You need to find out to whom the child support is owed. If it is to the state they may cut you a deal and reduce the amount. If it is owed to the mother there will be no reduction.

You can ask your work for a copy of the order they had received and then backtrack from there. You should have received a copy when they started taking money from your check.

[AK lawyer]

Sorry, I just have read this two-page thread and there are so many issues:

• If, as it appears, the divorce case was dismissed for lack of prosecution, OP should ask to re-open the case and ask for an entry of a divorce decree nunc pro tunc (Latin for as of a prior date) dated 13 years ago.
  
• No, you don't have to divorce your present wife. Fr_Chuck's suggestion that you can get the present marriage anulled misses the pont: I assume you don't want to split the sheets with your present wife, right?
  
• Child support: you would have had to pay child support whether or not you were divorced, or still married but separated (which appears to be the case).

[ScottGem]

I agree with AK. You acted in good faith when you remarried. So I don't see any issue of bigamy, nor any need to void your current marriage.

You should be able to have the case reopened and a backdated order issued.

As to the support issue, who is telling you that there is back support? If an order og garnishment was issued and you have had the support deducted ever since how can there be arrears?

[cdad]

Sorry, I just have read this two-page thread and there are so many issues:

• If, as it appears, the divorce case was dismissed for lack of prosecution, OP should ask to re-open the case and ask for an entry of a divorce decree nunc pro tunc (Latin for as of a prior date) dated 13 years ago.
  
  

Nunc pro tunc may not apply in this case. It is normally used when there is a mistake made by the courts. That answer would need to come from a lawyer that can examine the case in closer degree.

Ref:


http://www.lectlaw.com/def2/n083.htm

[bparkman2011]

I live in Tx. My 16 year old daughter has been having problems with her mother for many years and has expressed interest in severing all ties to her.
The situation is difficult, as my 16 year old is living with her step-dad, or was her step-dad for many years. Recently her mother divorced him, but my daughter has been in his household for 13 or 14 years. She has gone to the same school all her life, and is a junior this year. She wishes to stay with her step dad to finish school, and as I get along with the step dad, would just like to see my daughter happy.
She had been told for several years a lot of lies about me, and I was unable to see my daughters for many years because of their mother and her lies. I am in constant contact with my daughters (17, 16, and 14)
My daughter has been subjected to things such as catching her mother in bed with 2 men, while she was married. She has been told that I never paid child support, to which I have documented proof otherwise. Her mother is unwilling to financially support her and has recently been physical with her, as she slapped my daughter twice in the face.
Is there a way she can divorce her mom, and my child support payments be paid directly to my daughter?

[JudyKayTee]

I live in Tx. My 16 year old daughter has been having problems with her mother for many years and has expressed interest in severing all ties to her.
The situation is difficult, as my 16 year old is living with her step-dad, or was her step-dad for many years. Recently her mother divorced him, but my daughter has been in his household for 13 or 14 years. She has gone to the same school all her life, and is a junior this year. She wishes to stay with her step dad to finish school, and as I get along with the step dad, would just like to see my daughter happy.
she had been told for several years alot of lies about me, and I was unable to see my daughters for many years because of thier mother and her lies. I am in constant contact with my daughters (17, 16, and 14)
My daughter has been subjected to things such as catching her mother in bed with 2 men, while she was married. She has been told that I never paid child support, to which I have documented proof otherwise. Her mother is unwilling to financially support her and has recently been physical with her, as she slapped my daughter twice in the face.
Is there a way she can divorce her mom, and my child support payments be paid directly to my daughter?

In a word - no, not without a Court action. If her stepfather can get custody or guardianship, then, yes, the payments would go to him.

It will not go directly to your daughter. Child support isn't just pocket money. It pays to keep a roof over her head, buy food, pay utilities.

If you are paying the mother and she is keeping the money, go back to Court and get the Order changed.

Where are your two other children living?

Is your other thread about you or a niece? https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...ns-699415.html

EDIT: My concern is your seven other threads regarding your marriage and child support. There are too many issues which are too entwined in order an otherwise "simple" question: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...s-660765.html; https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...t-673104.html; https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/childr...t-688559.html; https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/childr...p-688593.html; https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/divorc...e-689690.html; https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...l-692203.html; https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...ns-699415.html

[ScottGem]

I have merged all your threads into one. If you have any followups, please post a response to this thread.

As Judy noted, if your daughter is not in the custody of the mother, then you should be paying support to whoever has custody. But to change where support is being paid, you have to go back to court.

As for your daughter "divorcing her mother", its possible, but since she doesn't have far to go until 18, it would not be worth the time and effort. Once she is 18 you can decide to have nothing more to do with the mother.

[bparkman2011]

In a word - no, not without a Court action. If her stepfather can get custody or guardianship, then, yes, the payments would go to him.

It will not go directly to your daughter. Child support isn't just pocket money. It pays to keep a roof over her head, buy food, pay utilities.

If you are paying the mother and she is keeping the money, go back to Court and get the Order changed.

Where are your two other children living?

Is your other thread about you or a niece? https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...ns-699415.html

EDIT: My concern is your seven other threads regarding your marriage and child support. There are too many issues which are too entwined in order an otherwise "simple" question: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...s-660765.html; https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...t-673104.html; https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/childr...t-688559.html; https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/childr...p-688593.html; https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/divorc...e-689690.html; https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...l-692203.html; https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...ns-699415.html

There is a lot going on with my family, I agree. My question is simply what are my daughters options. My 17 year old lives with their mother, the 14 year old lives with the step dad as well.
Let me try to explain some of the threads. I have 5 daughters. 3 with my ex-wife, who told me our divorce was final, but as it turns out, it isn't. I have 2 other daughters from a different relationship. M, as I will call her is the mother of my 3 teenage daughters. M received food stamps years ago, and was convicted of food stamp fraud, as she and I were still married, even living together at the time. I was unaware of her getting food stamps, as really at the time we were having problems, but working on things. I had to go to court, I showed that she and I were married and living together, and she was restricted from getting food stamps or any other help of that nature. When she filed for food stamps is when my checks were being garnished. As it stands, I was never ordered to pay child support, only paying the state back for I guess, her use of the food stamps. But at the same time she was ordered to repay what she had received, in the fraud conviction, however, my checks are still being garnished.
My 16 and 14 year old both, do not wish live with her, as she is never home, has several different boyfriends and other issues that they do not wish to put up with any longer. They do not want to come to TX as they have lived their entire lives in that town and have gone to school there. They have had their step dad in their lives for 12-13 years, and wish to stay with him. Although it hurts me, that they do not wish to come live with me, I understand their reasons, and only want them to be happy and healthy.
I recently found out that M, has neglected to pay doctor bills which has limited my daughters medical attention. I called to get an appointment for my 16 year old, only to be told that she owed $100.00 before she could be seen. I paid that but there are many other issues. My 16 and 14 year old do not live with her, but she refuses to help them by giving them even a small portion of the child support. My 17 year old who lives with her has a full time job and is going to school and is just waiting it out till she is 18 which is only a few months away. My 16 year old will turn 17 in Feb.
I just would like to know what my options are, and know I need to obtain an attorney, but attorney fees are so expensive and I am in a financially difficult spot.
I keep insurance on all 5 of my daughters and pay well over $1200 a month in child support, not to mention house payment, car payment and the normal monthly bills.

[ScottGem]

Seems to me that your initial focus should be to have custody invested in the step father so that the child support can go to him. But since this involves two states and since he legally has no standing, I'm not sure how to go about that. I would have him consult an OK attorney as to what can be done, he can give the attorney your contact info and you can advise the attorney that you are agreeable to him having custody for the girl's sake.

You can ask for visitation as part of this proceeding. I would hope that your daughters, after seeing the efforts you are willing to take for their happiness, will be more amenable to spending time with you.