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JubileeSasha · Aug 31, 2012, 04:32 PM

I'm 13 years old, and I've always been a fan of old Hindi films, right from the start. Around this time last year, I happened to be watching this movie, and I started to like the actor in it. The movie was shown again, and I watched it again. Then I went on Wikipedia and started watching his other movies, from the 50's and 60's. I was so happy... so happy. I would giggle and laugh and think of references to his films, and every afternoon, sit in front of the computer and lose myself in the world of the films.

But then on December 4, that fateful night, I was staying up late secretly, listening to his songs on my iPod. I fell asleep, and in the morning, I was greeted with the news that he was no more... and just the night before, I had been listening to his songs. For the next two months, every night I'd listen to his sad songs and cry myself to sleep. I knew he wasn't the... I... -sigh- I just knew that death might come, but it smacked me when I least expected it.

And now I think I'm crushing on him. Earlier it was more of a friend thing, really. I would send him Tweets and though he never saw them, I used to playfully reply to his tweets and talk out loud to the TV when watching his movies. I'd say, "Hey, D, (I told all my friends to call him D, the first letter of his name, because I was certain that they would mess up the pronunciation of his name) don't do that! Heeheehee, the girl's getting annoyed! Okay, now charm her! Yes! Epic dialogue!" and stuff like that.

Now I sort of... I don't know. It's a crush. I say, "I love you," to the computer screen and all... and I still cry sometimes while listening to his songs. And on the same note, I also get really upset when one of the older actors dies. About a month ago that happened. I burst into tears in front of everybody and I couldn't stop. Even when I got yelled at. I just kept crying and crying. So... what can I do to get over the grief? I still feel sad... and it's hollow and empty. I cannot believe that he is gone. I just cannot believe it. When I look at his songs and think of the fleeting encounters I had with his films in the past, and there's deep regret for not watching more of his films earlier.

And for D... is it wrong to be crushing on him? I remember on Valentines' Day, I wrote a letter to him. Like any other fan mail. And I hid it under my pillow. My grandma found it and told me, "He's dead. Don't write any letters." When I asked why, I just got a 'no'. So, yeah...

Homegirl 50 · Aug 31, 2012, 05:28 PM

Crushing on a dead person is OK I guess for a short while, all long as you realize he's dead and get over it. You are 13 after all.

Inso The Jester · Aug 31, 2012, 06:12 PM

Well instead of thinking of who passed away start thinking about who you have and what you can do
I think that you are a good person because you cried at the death of someone you never met so after some years I assure you that you will find a good person
But not now you are still young to be in a relationship focus on your books instead of love
Try reading any book, it does not have to do with school
It will take your mind off him

Inso The Jester · Aug 31, 2012, 06:28 PM

And you are sad about someone you don't know and somehow lost him
There are people who lost their whole family
Can you imagine how hard it is for them?
So thank god for what you have now

JudyKayTee · Sep 1, 2012, 05:17 AM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Crushing on a dead person is OK I guess for a short while, all long as you realize he's dead and get over it. You are 13 after all.

I see no problem unless/until this becomes an obsession - and that's a thin line.

I'm gathering this is not in the US?

JubileeSasha · Sep 1, 2012, 07:18 AM

Originally Posted by Inso The Jester

Well instead of thinking of who passed away start thinking about who you have and what you can do
i think that you are a good person because you cried at the death of someone you never met so after some years i assure you that you will find a good person
but not now you are still young to be in a relationship focus on your books instead of love
try reading any book, it does not have to do with school
it will take your mind off him

I know, one of my online friends gave me a hard time with crying over D. He said, "I just don't know why you are so sad over somebody you never even met." He doesn't understand how D just made his way into my heart as he did to all the other girls 50 years ago. His charm, his good looks, you know... I loved his movies so much, I still do, but it just feels different.

And as for relationships, I vehemently deny liking any boys. 'Cause I don't! I'd say out loud playfully, "If I have a boyfriend, he must be able to sing like D!" (I'm not really very serious about it, but it's fun to think about. Being romanced by your favorite actor, oh God! :D) I know I'm too young to be in a relationship and such.

Also, is it weird that I like to look around in the men's section and point and giggle at stuff that resembles what D wore in the movies?

JubileeSasha · Sep 1, 2012, 07:19 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

I see no problem unless/until this becomes an obsession - and that's a thin line.

I'm gathering this is not in the US?

My friend would casually say, "You're obsessed with D!" I don't know, is it an obsession if I ignore homework to play games and watch his movies? (I get the homework done in school though, and the teachers don't find out!)

And yeah, I'm in Florida, although I just moved from Singapore.

JudyKayTee · Sep 1, 2012, 07:27 AM

Originally Posted by JubileeSasha

Also, is it weird that I like to look around in the men's section and point and giggle at stuff that resembles what D wore in the movies?

Yes.

You sound very immature. I will guess you will have difficulty fitting in at school.

JubileeSasha · Sep 1, 2012, 07:37 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Yes.

You sound very immature. I will guess you will have difficulty fitting in at school.

Okay, okay, maybe I am. :P But my friends in school are okay. In school I keep my thoughts about D out of conversations (As I did in Singapore, because I got laughed at), although I do make references in my head and smile to myself.

JudyKayTee · Sep 1, 2012, 07:38 AM

Originally Posted by JubileeSasha

Okay, okay, maybe I am. :P But my friends in school are okay. In school I keep my thoughts about D out of conversations (As I did in Singapore, because I got laughed at), although I do make references in my head and smile to myself.

Which is also troublesome. You need to speak to someone.

JubileeSasha · Sep 1, 2012, 07:44 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Which is also troublesome. You need to speak to someone.

Speak to someone? About this?

JudyKayTee · Sep 1, 2012, 08:02 AM

Originally Posted by JubileeSasha

Speak to someone? About this?

Yes, a school counsellor, someone else. I would understand a "crush" on a live actor, singer, entertainer.

Writing letters to dead people? I think that's odd.

Homegirl 50 · Sep 1, 2012, 10:04 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

I see no problem unless/until this becomes an obsession - and that's a thin line.

I'm gathering this is not in the US?

I agree. A harmless crush and an obsession are two different things.