[sawsall02]

I'm 44yrs. Old, married,and have a crush on a 15yr. Old girl, how do I stop loving her?

[Homegirl 50]

How does a grown married man have this happen? Is this the first teen you have had a crush on?
Go get some therapy and I hope you are staying away from this child.

[NeedKarma]

I notice that you are quite religious: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-...ml#post2786086

How does this fit into your religious views?

[sawsall02]

How does a grown married man have this happen? Is this the first teen you have had a crush on?
Go get some therapy and I hope you are staying away from this child.

You tell me? She's beautiful, intelligent, and shows me attention, my wife does not show me attention. This is the first time this has happened, I know she is a child. I don't see her much, and nothing sexual has came about. I'm not going to do anything stupid! She is very mature for her age. I can try and avoid her, but I still have thes feelings. Is this normal?

[sawsall02]

I notice that you are quite religious: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-...ml#post2786086

How does this fit into your religious views?

Yes, my thoughts are adulterous! I know I'm a sinner! But what do I do about these feelings?

[NeedKarma]

You tell me? She's beatiful, intelligent, and shows me attention, my wife does not show me attention. This is the first time this has happened, I know she is a child. I don't see her much, and nothing sexual has came about. I'm not going to do anything stupid! She is very mature for her age. I can try and avoid her, but I still have thes feelings. Is this normal?

Go for it and see what happens. Make sure you go through her parents first. Report back.

[NeedKarma]

Yes, my thoughts are adulterous! I know I'm a sinner! But what do I do about these feelings?

Then if you have no control over your feelings you may need to seek some professional psychological help.

[Homegirl 50]

You tell me? She's beautiful, intelligent, and shows me attention, my wife does not show me attention. This is the first time this has happened, I know she is a child. I don't see her much, and nothing sexual has came about. I'm not going to do anything stupid! She is very mature for her age. I can try and avoid her, but I still have thes feelings. Is this normal?

She is 15 and of course a teenager will show a grown man attention if he is fronting with her. You are already doing something stupid if you are around her enough to where she is showing you attention.
This not normal it is messed up. Get some counseling. For yourself and your marriage.

[Homegirl 50]

Yes, my thoughts are adulterous! I know I'm a sinner! But what do I do about these feelings?

They are not only adulterous they are sick. This a 15 year old not a grown woman.

[ScottGem]

I think the problem here is you are unhappy in your marriage so when a 15 yr old pays attention to you, you imagine all sorts of fantasies.

You get past this by dealing with your marriage. Work harder at it or end it and move on, but not to the 15 yr old.

[sawsall02]

They are not only adulterous they are sick. This a 15 year old not a grown woman.

How can I get answers that are not hatefilled? Hence the title "Forbidden Love". I realize she is not "legal"!! However, 100yrs. Ago a couple could wed at age 13. Even the Virgin Mary was around 14. Give me a break!!

[sawsall02]

I think the problem here is you are unhappy in your marriage so when a 15 yr old pays attention to you, you imagine all sorts of fantasies.

You get past this by dealing with your marriage. Work harder at it or end it and move on, but not to the 15 yr old.

Thank you Scott,
I have put so much into my mirriage, it's been tireing. We have had many counseling sessions, I give wholeheartedly, with nothing in return. I'm tired.
I will trudge on, for God's Glory. But, how can a man give everything, and honestly receive nothing. My wife refuses to submit to me, even though I love her dearly.

[Homegirl 50]

How can I get answers that are not hate filled? Hence the title "Forbidden Love". I realize she is not "legal"!!! However, 100yrs. ago a couple could wed at age 13. Even the Virgin Mary was around 14. Give me a break!!!

My answer was not hate filled. You say your thoughts are adulterous, don't sugar coat it, they are more than that.

[ScottGem]

But, how can a man give everything, and honestly recieve nothing. My wife refuses to submit to me, even though I love her dearly.

I believe it was Dear Abby, who had a measuring stick. She said, one needs to decide if they are better off with or without the person they are married to. Once that decision is made it becomes easier to decide where to proceed.

At 44 you are still at an age where you can find satisfaction with a marriage. So it may be time to move on.

And again, your fixation on this 15 yr old is not real it's a symptom of your marital issues. But it needs to be quashed. Yes a 100 years ago people married younger. But then people lived a lot longer too. So that can't be used as a justification. Times are very different.

[Homegirl 50]

Thank you Scott,
I have put so much into my mirriage, it's been tireing. We have had many counseling sessions, I give wholeheartedly, with nothing in return. I'm tired.
I will trudge on, for God's Glory. But, how can a man give everything, and honestly recieve nothing. My wife refuses to submit to me, even though I love her dearly.

In what way is your wife not submitting to you?
If things are so bad, why are you still in this marriage?

[Cat1864]

So what are the issues in your marriage?

I am going to be blunt.

The main 'problem' you have shared with us is that your wife doesn't shave her pubic area. If that is your main issue with her, then it puts your fascination with a 15 year old in a very different light.

It is also a bit worrisome that you talk about your wife 'not submitting to you'. Do you think a 15 year old would be more willing to 'submit' to what you want?

How do you know this child? Is she a neighbor? Friend of the family? Family member..

Stay away from the child. She probably isn't sending out the signals you want to think she is. She is more than likely just being friendly like many young females are. Anything beyond that is in your imagination.

When you have these thoughts, change them. Remind yourself they are inappropriate and give yourself a distraction. Think about your wife. Think about a hobby. Get involved in an activity that involves your brain. Do not dwell on the offending thoughts. Do not give them attention and they will fade away.

[Fr_Chuck]

Counseling, both for the marriage and for this unhealthy desire. It is one thing for a man to have a sexual fantasy for a few moments when a over mature young girl is noticed or perhaps when we misunderstand their attention. And to build up some desire.

And if you want to live in a place where the morals and society accept you owning a women or buying a 13 year old as a wife, then move there, This is not THERE and don't try to use another time when people seldom lived over 40 or 50 to justify what you even know is wrong.

You need to break any and every tie with this child, never see her, talk to her and leave it.

If you want to leave your wife, do so, and find a relationship with another adult.

Unless again you move to certain cultures, don't expect the wife to submit, marriage is a equal partnership

[sawsall02]

So what are the issues in your marriage?

I am going to be blunt.

The main 'problem' you have shared with us is that your wife doesn't shave her pubic area. If that is your main issue with her, then it puts your fascination with a 15 year old in a very different light.

It is also a bit worrisome that you talk about your wife 'not submitting to you'. Do you think a 15 year old would be more willing to 'submit' to what you want?

How do you know this child? Is she a neighbor? Friend of the family? Family member...?

Stay away from the child. She probably isn't sending out the signals you want to think she is. She is more than likely just being friendly like many young females are. Anything beyond that is in your imagination.

When you have these thoughts, change them. Remind yourself they are inappropriate and give yourself a distraction. Think about your wife. Think about a hobby. Get involved in an activity that involves your brain. Do not dwell on the offending thoughts. Do not give them attention and they will fade away.

Cat, I'm over the "shaving the pubic area" thing. When I say my wife won't submit to me, it is meaning in the bedroom. There are months that go by before she will have sex with me!
I will not give any clue's to who this girl may be, it is irrelevant. I'm just a stupid man with a fantasy.
I will try your advice, and think of other thing's other than her. As far as seeing her goes, it might be a month or so before I might see her again.
Thanks for the advice, all.

[sawsall02]

My answer was not hate filled. You say your thoughts are adulterous, don't sugar coat it, they are more than that.

"Those that are without sin, cast the first stone." John 8:7 (Paraphrased)

[Homegirl 50]

You are talking about lusting for a teenager. Deal with it!