[Wondergirl]

Is there a difference if he was a child molester and went after little kids, or "just" had sex with a young teen? He could have become an RSO had he been caught taking a leak in an alley. Seems like there should be levels of RSO.

[jenniepepsi]

Actually I have a problem with your post, not for the advice, sometimes taking things over does help. BUT, if there is a restraining order in place and they talk, they are breaking the law ( the restraining order ) So what you did was give advice that told them to break the law

I wasn't saying he should talk to the girl he raped at all. That would be a terrible idea. What I mean was finding out if there is a way to make it so that he can at least be around his current children that he had as an adult and married (assumable) man.

I just honestly do not believe that a teen who makes a stupid mistake, cannot be around his own children later in life.

[J_9]

Jennie, he apparently has custody of his children, the question is that he wants to be able to attend the school sponsored sporting events that his children participate in.

[jenniepepsi]

Jennie, he was 19, not a teen, but an adult.

An adult that preys on a 13 year old child is a pedophile. I'm sorry, but I have to agree with everyone else.

He made the choice 22 years ago to rape a child. Even if she consented she was only 13, she didn't have the legal right, or the maturity, to consent to sex. As a 19 year old man he knew right from wrong, and that sex with a child is wrong. If he didn't know that, that's a huge concern.

Like it or not this is not a case of a "stupid teen with another stupid teen". This is a case of an adult and a child.

I agree he was an adult.
But I don't see why he cannot be a part of his current children's lives. He wasn't molesting children. This girl very well could have been a freshman, and he a senior (granted, that's a huge stretch, she would have had to be ahead a year, and he would have been behind a year)

Its possible that they were peers, somehow.

I know its not a popular opinion, but I don't believe that young men under 21, who have sex with willing teen girls, should be labeled sex offenders (unless it was forceful rape)

But the laws are there for a reason, and I am glad for that. Just because I don't like the 'statutory' laws sometimes doesn't mean I don't respect those laws.

I just believe that there should be SOMETHING in place to make it possible for situations like this. Its been over 20 years, and he has children of his own now, that he can't be part of their daily functions because of a dumb (REALLY dumb) choice he made over 20 years ago.

I hope that makes more sense. I know I rambled a bit

[jenniepepsi]

Jennie, he apparently has custody of his children, the question is that he wants to be able to attend the school sponsored sporting events that his children participate in.

That's what I don't understand about the laws. If he is allowed to have his own children, why is he not allowed at his children's functions. Especially after 20 years, of a (presumably) law abiding life. And even more especially considering he was not convicted of child crimes, but of statutory rape. Which means he had sex with an albeit minor, but a WILLING minor.

[Alty]

thats what i dont understand about the laws. if he is allowed to have his own children, why is he not allowed at his childrens functions. especially after 20 years, of a (presumably) law abiding life. and even more especially considering he was not convicted of child crimes, but of statutory rape. which means he had sex with an albeit minor, but a WILLING minor.

You're doing a lot of assuming here Jennie.

We don't know that the 13 year old consented to sex. We only know that she hung out with the older crowd. That doesn't mean that she consented. We only have his word to go by.

Also, we don't know if he's led a law abiding life for the past 22 years. He may have custody of his children because his wife is dead, or a trainwreck. He may be the lesser of two evils. Not saying he is evil, but we don't know.

The only information we have is that he was convicted of a sexual offense of a minor child when he was 19, and as such is a registered sex offender.

He may very well be a great guy that made one very big mistake. He could be someone that shouldn't be around anyone's children, even his own. That's why there are courts that uphold the law. The judge seemed to think the offense was bad enough to make him an RSO. The judge had all the facts. We don't.

[Wondergirl]

The judge had all the facts. We don't.

And we don't know how tough the judge was or what his own experience with this type of thing was -- twenty-two years ago.

[Alty]

And we don't know how tough the judge was or what his own experience with this type of thing was -- twenty-two years ago.

Exactly.

We only know what the OP has told us, which isn't a lot.

We really don't know enough to say anything about the OP, or the situation.

We're all just going by our guts, our experience, and that's not fair to the OP, or anyone.

Even if he did come back to post, the judges ruling still stands unless he fights it.

[ScottGem]

Seems like there should be levels of RSO.

And there are. Most places have at least 3 tiers that rate the RSO's likelihood to repeat offend.

What it comes down to here is IF (and it's a big if) the OP can convince a court that he is no longer a danger to children, then he should be given some rights to support his children. For example, I can see him being allowed to attend a sporting event or school concert where there is a crowd. I don't see him being allowed to hang around the school yard.

So my advice to the OP is get a lawyer and try to convince a court. But only a court can override the restrictions placed on him.

[JudyKayTee]

I got custody of my 2 kids but I had to go through extensive psychological testing and 1,000,000 court proceedings the court system is made for the mother and children to always stay together in my case the mother was worthless and doing drugs even with my registration I was found to be a good father and was granted custody

On a totally different note - I doubt there were 1,000,000 court proceedings. I don't believe the court system is made for the mother.

After he legally raped the 13-year old he went on to have 3 children with a worthless drug abuser -

I question this person's common sense and judgment. We are hearing only what he WANTS us to hear - and that includes one million Court appearances.

[ScottGem]

I question this person's common sense and judgment. We are hearing only what he WANTS us to hear - and that includes one million Court appearances.

Yes I caught that exaggeration. And I think you are very right that we haven't heard the whole story.

Which is why only a court can rule on his ability to be near a school.