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    LissieLove's Avatar
    LissieLove Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 9, 2012, 07:39 PM
    What can I do to show my boyfriend I love him?
    Ok so in the past my boyfriend and I have had some issues. He has pointed out and seems to believe that I like attention from other people. When we first started dating I was unsure if I wanted to be in a relationship and so I was distancing myself, but not anymore. Anyway, he says he is waiting for me to think of a way to show him that I want only him. I have done many things: I tell him I love him every day, I never shy away from him when were together, I brag about him to everyone I know, for his birthday I got all of his friends together and preformed a song for him, I tell him how much I appreciate him.
    Long story short I love him to death but he still feels like I don't show it.
    I need some more romantic ideas; something that I can do in front of people to display that I am taken, like he wants.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #2

    Aug 9, 2012, 07:47 PM
    How old are you? Sounds like a case of infatuation... not love.

    Needing to prove and show someone else indicates a high level of immaturity and youth.

    Real love doesn't need to be shown or proven...


    The fact you feel a need to toss the word love around so much shows you haven't learned the true meaning of it yet.
    LissieLove's Avatar
    LissieLove Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Aug 9, 2012, 08:20 PM
    Beautiful. I am 23 and I have been in a relationship for my boyfriend for over 2 years; living together for a year and a half. We have wonderful relationship as is but he feels under appreciated and doesn't trust that I want to be with only him, even though I have put forth much effort to prove it is so

    Thanks for your help I'll be sure to check my age and maturity next time
    Quote Originally Posted by smoothy View Post
    How old are you? Sounds like a case of infatuation....not love.

    Needing to prove and show someone else indicates a high level of immaturity and youth.

    Real love doesn't need to be shown or proven....


    The fact you feel a need to toss the word love around so much shows you haven't learned the true meaning of it yet.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #4

    Aug 10, 2012, 04:38 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by LissieLove View Post
    Beautiful. I am 23 and I have been in a relationship for my boyfriend for over 2 years; living together for a year and a half. We have wonderful relationship as is but he feels under appreciated and doesn't trust that I want to be with only him, even though I have put forth much effort to prove it is so

    Thanks for your help I'll be sure to check my age and maturity next time
    OK.. that helps on the perspective. Big difference between teens and 20's you know.

    Listen. You shouldn't HAVE to be constantly having to prove yourself, or show to him what he should already know.

    You WILL get tired of this and burn out eventually... and a lot sooner than you might think.

    Sounds to me like he has issues... and I am a guy telling you this.

    If he needs constant reassuring and constant proof he's got bigger issues than can be addressed in a single thread.

    While you don't ignore the other person... if there is real love there on both sides neither party is going to be demanding or needing to be constantly shown or proven.

    It sounds to me like you both are in lust with each other and it hasn't matured into real love yet.

    Yes the two feel very much the same... but there are critical differeces. When two people are really in love... they know it and don't need to prove it. In lust you feel a need to prove it and if it stops you doubt their sincerity. Much like this. Also lust WILL fade, it always does as familiarity sets in. Love however grows during that time, if there is really anything there.

    My experiences with this... many relationships with women that while good in many cases... lacked that basic trust and mutual understanding... and when I finally met my wife, there was never this pressure to prove myself... or her to prove anything to me... we just knew in our hearts it was right. Been married to her 21 years now. And we still never need to prove anything to each other... no we never ignore each other... but we don't have to do backflips to prove anything to the other. And we never doubt each others feelings.

    If that doesn't make any sense, tell me and I can try and explain it differently. It's a hard concept to explain until you have experienced it yourself.

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