[Ticean]

I have moved away from where I as a lone parent brought up my two children,now both adults.
Having found a loving husband who I and the kids both new for four years.
My son who is now 23 initially moved with me to our new area but couldn't settle,he moved back to our family home renting the property with two working friends.
He however having lost a job last year isn't finding a new job.I go back to visit every thre weeks, to encourage him but really now don't know what to do. I financially sub him,pay his car Ins,tax etc.I work 24 hour shifts and am getting shattered from tooing and froing,but I feel that I need to to do this to support him.
But am worried as he seems to have settled into living on benefits.
He is bright, has friends.However I wonder if I should move back,and get his friends to move out.
He says he will move out, if I do this.What do I do.

[Amyyforthestars]

I hate to say it but he's 23 there is no reason he shouldn't have a job and definitely no reason you should be supporting him.

He's renting your house, that's business, make sure he knows it clear that if he wants to continue renting your house you are not only his mother but you are also his landlord and that means you want to actually receive the monthly payment. If he has a problem with it tell him to move out.

It's not fair for you to support him. You did your motherly duty, you raised him. He had his chance to live with you he moved out, he has to pay the consiquences.

[Ticean]

I hate to say it but he's 23 there is no reason he shouldnt have a job and definitely no reason you should be supporting him.

He's renting your house, that's business, make sure he knows it clear that if he wants to continue renting your house you are not only his mother but you are also his landlord and that means you want to actually receive the monthly payment. If he has a problem with it tell him to move out.

It's not fair for you to support him. You did your motherly duty, you raised him. He had his chance to live with you he moved out, he has to pay the consiquences.

Hi,thank you for taking the time to answer. Its good to get other peoples pointof view to make sure that I'm being fair.Maybe firm but fair would be better.

[Amyyforthestars]

Hi,thankyou for taking the time to answer. Its jus good to get other peoples pointof view to make sure that im being fair.Maybe firm but fair would be better.

Go about it however you feel comfortable doing it, just make sure you're being fair to yourself. Don't let him take advantage of you. Good luck!

[mmresd]

I would recommend to stop giving him money so that he can learn what it is to be responsible and living on his own. You need to stop babying him if you really want him to mature.

[Fr_Chuck]

You don't move back home, you stop paying for his bills and start letting him do without if he does not work. You are allowing him to do nothing and enjoy watching TV and playing games while you work.

If he and room mates don't pay rent, you evict them, tough love.