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    KimsterKimi's Avatar
    KimsterKimi Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 24, 2012, 11:30 PM
    Does this mean there is no chance?
    So me and my friend have been hanging out quite a bit. I've known her for a while now, and I told her how I felt about her and she didn't reply to me for 2 days until I initiated contact. We spoke on Saturday and fast forward to yesterday and she initiated contact with me and we spoke and then I asked her if everything was OK she said yes why? So I told her it just feels like I did something that I wasn't aware of. She replied to me that she understands my intentions are and goes on by say that she got uncomfortable when I told her how I felt and she said it makes her think I can't handle being friends so she told me to just slow it down and just stay friends. I have a feeling you guys will tell me something I don't want to hear but I don't even know what I should do. She's a friend and I asked 2 people and they told me just be friends with her. While the other says to walk away. What should I do?
    chrisbo147's Avatar
    chrisbo147 Posts: 20, Reputation: 2
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    #2

    Jul 25, 2012, 03:27 AM
    I would stay friends with her don't break it off just because she didn't want to be more than friends... just let her bide her time just don't mention it no more that you want to be more than just friends she's knows your interested and she will let you know somehow when she's ready
    KimsterKimi's Avatar
    KimsterKimi Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jul 25, 2012, 12:23 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by chrisbo147 View Post
    I would stay friends with her dont break it off just because she didnt want to be more than friends...just let her bide her time just dont mention it no more that you want to be more than just friends shes knows your interested and she will let you know somehow when shes ready

    So right now she's not ready yet?
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #4

    Jul 25, 2012, 12:46 PM
    If you honestly think you can be just friends, do it. If you can't, walk away. From what I'm reading, I don't think you are going to be happy with "just friends"
    KimsterKimi's Avatar
    KimsterKimi Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Jul 25, 2012, 01:13 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    If you honestly think you can be just friends, do it. If you can't, walk away. From what I'm reading, I don't think you are going to be happy with "just friends"
    Being friends with her is better than nothing and I care about her
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    Jul 25, 2012, 03:32 PM
    Settling for friendship when you want romance is a torture. Back away from the romance idea with her and seek it elsewhere or you will begin to think you have a chance for romance in the future and waste a lot of time and emotions on this false hope.

    Easier to be friends when you have a balanced life, and more options and opportunities for fun, dating, and romance with people with more potential.

    Friends doesn't mean spending all your time and energy on just her.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #7

    Jul 25, 2012, 07:43 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by KimsterKimi View Post
    being friends with her is better than nothing and i care about her
    You are sounding desperate and that is not attractive.
    You are setting yourself up for misery. Take a deep breath and walk away. You will survive.
    KimsterKimi's Avatar
    KimsterKimi Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Jul 25, 2012, 08:08 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    You are sounding desperate and that is not attractive.
    You are setting yourself up for misery. Take a deep breath and walk away. You will survive.
    I could work with being friends, its not a big deal.. besides I got to respect what she wants
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #9

    Jul 25, 2012, 08:12 PM
    If you can do that, cool!
    KimsterKimi's Avatar
    KimsterKimi Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Jul 26, 2012, 11:52 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Settling for friendship when you want romance is a torture. Back away from the romance idea with her and seek it elsewhere or you will begin to think you have a chance for romance in the future and waste a lot of time and emotions on this false hope.

    Easier to be friends when you have a balanced life, and more options and opportunities for fun, dating, and romance with people with more potential.

    Friends doesn't mean spending all your time and energy on just her.
    You know, I've learned to appriciate being friends with her and it's really cool, oddly the next day after she told me what she felt she asked me if I wanted to have dinner with her and then the next we hung out had lunch and spent the day together is weird but it's nice
    KimsterKimi's Avatar
    KimsterKimi Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Aug 1, 2012, 03:55 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by KimsterKimi View Post
    So me and my friend have been hanging out quite a bit. I've known her for a while now, and I told her how I felt about her and she didn't reply back to me for 2 days until I initiated contact. We spoke on Saturday and fast forward to yesterday and she initiated contact with me and we spoke and then I asked her if everything was ok she said yes why? So I told her it just feels like I did something that I wasn't aware of. She replied back to me that she understands my intentions are and goes on by say that she got uncomfortable when I told her how I felt and she said it makes her think I can't handle being friends so she told me to just slow it down and just stay friends. I have a feeling you guys will tell me something I don't want to hear but I don't even know what I should do. She's a friend and I asked 2 people and they told me just be friends with her. While the other says to walk away. What should I do?
    After she told me it made her uncomfortable and wanted me to slow down and be friends, the next night she asked me if I wanted to join her for dinner and then the next day we spent the day togther we had lunch and we hung out in the mall.. I mean how would I know if she wants to be more or is she just content in where we are or is she still getting to know me and my good and bad traits, it's confusing
    here2assist's Avatar
    here2assist Posts: 101, Reputation: 27
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    #12

    Aug 1, 2012, 04:16 PM
    I think if you stay friends with her you'll get your hopes up for something more. I'm here to tell you that I've had guy friends interested in me and the feeling was not mutual. It's highly likely that she won't just wake up and have romantic interest in you. Guys seem to think that just because a woman talks to you and wants to spend time with you she's interested. Nope, we're more complex creatures then that. Sorry...
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #13

    Aug 1, 2012, 04:19 PM
    Is she your only female friend Mr. I am always available?
    KimsterKimi's Avatar
    KimsterKimi Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
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    #14

    Aug 1, 2012, 04:27 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Is she your only female friend Mr. I am always available?
    I have quiet a bit of female friends

    Quote Originally Posted by here2assist View Post
    I think if you stay friends with her you'll get your hopes up for something more. I'm here to tell you that I've had guy friends interested in me and the feeling was not mutual. It's highly likely that she won't just wake up and have romantic interest in you. Guys seem to think that just because a woman talks to you and wants to spend time with you she's interested. Nope, we're more complex creatures then that. Sorry....
    If all she needs is time I'm cool, she actually asked me if she could look at my phone when she saw my background
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #15

    Aug 1, 2012, 04:38 PM
    I find it best to have fun and see what happens. That's what dating is about. Having fun getting to know each other. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but if you are worried about wasting your time, then your expectations are to high.

    Or you are spending too much time on one thing and neglecting your other fans.
    here2assist's Avatar
    here2assist Posts: 101, Reputation: 27
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    #16

    Aug 1, 2012, 04:41 PM
    I don't think she needs time. I think she only sees you as a friend. I've looked at my girlfriend's phones and it doesn't mean I'm going to become gay and interested in them. Not sure why you inserted that detail.

    There's so many women out there and I guarantee you'll meet one that piques your interest even more :-)
    KimsterKimi's Avatar
    KimsterKimi Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
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    #17

    Aug 1, 2012, 04:50 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by here2assist View Post
    I don't think she needs time. I think she only sees you as a friend. I've looked at my girlfriend's phones and it doesn't mean I'm going to become gay and interested in them. Not sure why you inserted that detail.

    There's so many women out there and I guarantee you'll meet one that piques your interest even more :-)
    Thanks, really appriciate it
    KimsterKimi's Avatar
    KimsterKimi Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
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    #18

    Aug 1, 2012, 04:53 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    I find it best to have fun and see what happens. Thats what dating is about. Having fun getting to know each other. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but if you are worried about wasting your time, then your expectations are to high.

    Or you are spending to much time on one thing and neglecting your other fans.
    I think for now I'll go with the flow, at the same time meet others
    lulu 98's Avatar
    lulu 98 Posts: 20, Reputation: 1
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    #19

    Aug 2, 2012, 03:36 AM
    I think you should stay friends with her. And if she doesn't feel the same right now or for a while then I guess you've got to move on
    KimsterKimi's Avatar
    KimsterKimi Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
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    #20

    Aug 3, 2012, 12:59 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by lulu 98 View Post
    i think you should stay friends with her. and if she doesn't feel the same right now or for a while then i guess you've gotta move on
    Thanks, but um before I told her how I felt, a month ago before she was going on vacation she took a picture of me on her Iphone, is that odd or that's just normal

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