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klarkin · Jul 23, 2012, 06:57 AM

I need help. I am a single mother that has never been married. Recently my sons grandpa and grandma on his fathers side have been having issues and/with me. Since the grandma refuses to believe anything I say, even though we have been close for 3.5 years it has me worried for my son to be over there. She is in denial about her adulterer husband and if she is in denial about that, then what else could she be in denial for? I KNOW she will probably have me taken to court and ask for visitation rights. Is that even possible? What if I wanted to leave the state? I don't want my son at her house, for one he is not blood related to his grandpa and two like I said she could be in denial about other things going on in that house. Can he be taken from me to visit her/them? How can I stop them from seeing my son? The father does not live there, and he barely sees his son anyway. Recently it started to be once a week at his parents house. I have always said the father can see our son, but now I just don't want it over there. Does anyone have any information that can help me.

GV70 · Jul 23, 2012, 07:48 AM

http://traversecityfamilylaw.com/Doc...VISITATION.pdf
That's the law.

klarkin · Jul 23, 2012, 09:31 AM

That site you provided was for Illinois, and I am not understanding your post.

dzzygirl · Jul 23, 2012, 03:09 PM

Originally Posted by klarkin

I need help. I am a single mother that has never been married. Recently my sons grandpa and grandma on his fathers side have been having issues and/with me. Since the grandma refuses to beleive anything i say, even though we have been close for 3.5 years it has me worried for my son to be over there. She is in denial about her adulterer husband and if she is in denial about that, then what else could she be in denial for? I KNOW she will prolly have me taken to court and ask for visitation rights. Is that even possible? What if i wanted to leave the state? I dont want my son at her house, for one he is not blood related to his grandpa and two liek i said she could be in denial about other things goin on in that house. Can he be taken from me to visit her/them? How can i stop them from seeing my son? The father does not live there, and he barely sees his son anyway. Recently it started to be once a week at his parents house. I have always said the father can see our son, but now i just dont want it over there. Does anyone have any information that can help me.

So just because she doesn't believe you makes her to be a bad grandparent? Why would you deny her the right to visitation with her grandson? Why would you deny your son love from his grandmother? I guess I don't understand where the harm is here. What makes her a bad enough grandmother to not see her precious grandson?

ScottGem · Jul 23, 2012, 03:15 PM

Originally Posted by dzzygirl

So just because she doesnt believe you makes her to be a bad grandparent? Why would you deny her the right to visitation with her grandson? Why would you deny your son love from his grandmother? I guess I dont understand where the harm is here. What makes her a bad enough grandmother to not see her precious grandson?

While I understand your response, this is the law forum. Answers here need to conform to statutory law. If you can't address the legal issues as, at least part, of your response, then please spare us your feelings.

GV70 · Jul 23, 2012, 08:09 PM

Originally Posted by klarkin

that site you provided was for Illinois, and I am not understanding your post.

My mistake!
http://www.lsc.state.oh.us/memberson...andparents.pdf

ScottGem · Jul 24, 2012, 03:52 AM

As the correct link GV posted says OH does grant grandparents rights.

As for your moving out of state, that depends on what court rulings there have been for custody and visitation with the father. If the grandmother does file in court, then you may be constrained from moving.

klarkin · Jul 24, 2012, 04:49 AM

Originally Posted by dzzygirl

So just because she doesnt believe you makes her to be a bad grandparent? Why would you deny her the right to visitation with her grandson? Why would you deny your son love from his grandmother? I guess I dont understand where the harm is here. What makes her a bad enough grandmother to not see her precious grandson?

If she's in denial about what her husband has done to me. How do I know the grandfather doenst do that to him. She could know that he's a child molester and just deny deny deny. There have been stories that granparents know the other grandparent is molesting their child/grandchild and they keep it covered. What if she knows and just hides/denies this.

klarkin · Jul 24, 2012, 04:52 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

As the correct link GV posted says OH does grant grandparents rights.

As for your moving out of state, that depends on what court rulings there have been for custody and visitation with the father. If the grandmother does file in court, then you may be constrained from moving.

There haven't bene any visitations set up though. The father never filed, although he might now. And the grandparnets have never filed, although they may do so today. If I left before they file, is that allowed?

ScottGem · Jul 24, 2012, 05:02 AM

First, you mentioned the grandmother's "adulterer" husband, but you didn't say anything about him doing something to you. That certainly plays a different light on things.

Absent a court order you are free to move. But its possible you could be ordered back. If they file and you don't appear to fight it, they could be granted custody/visitation by default. I would be more inclined to file for sole legal and physical custody before they do.

P.S. dzzygirl, is a grandmother who's grandchild is being withheld from her, so take what she says from that perspective.

klarkin · Jul 24, 2012, 05:11 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

First, you mentioned the grandmother's "adulterer" husband, but you didn't say anything about him doing something to you. That certainly plays a different light on things.

Absent a court order you are free to move. But its possible you could be ordered back. if they file and you don't appear to fight it, they could be granted custody/visitation by default. I would be more inclined to file for sole legal and physical custody before they do.

P.S. dzzygirl, is a grandmother who's grandchild is being withheld from her, so take what she says from that perspective.

Thank you for your information first of all. Now, how does that shed a new light on things? I don't have like a lot of proof of what he did. Just text messages saying he wants to... you know and things like that. The bad thing is. And I know this was sooo stupid. My old car was broken awhile ago and he's like a mechanic. He said he would only fix it if I sent him a "pic." my car would have cost thousands of dollars to repair. So, I did. I know. Stupidest thing to have done. But he blames (this is what he tells his wife) that if I didn't wear low cut tops and things he would have never tried to touch me. He's shoved me against walls, gone up my shirt, and I just freeze. I don't know what to do.
Are you sure I can leave the state if there's nothing court ordered? How do I fiel for sole legal/physically custody? If I did could I leave the state and never have to be around them again?
Thank you again.

ScottGem · Jul 24, 2012, 05:20 AM

His advances, whether you helped them along or not, were improper. That will have a bearing on a court's decision.

I'm not sure how you could pack up everything and leave on a day's notice. Another reason I'm inclined to fight it. You can check with your local Family Court for how to file. I might also look into support groups for single mothers. They can often offer legal advice even have someone to help prepare paperwork.

But if you can get sole custody, you can leave anytime you want.

klarkin · Jul 24, 2012, 05:24 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

His advances, whether you helped them along or not, were improper. That will have a bearing on a court's decision.

I'm not sure how you could pack up everything and leave on a day's notice. Another reason I'm inclined to fight it. You can check with your local Family Court for how to file. I might also look into support groups for single mothers. They can often offer legal advice even have someone to help prepare paperwork.

But if you can get sole custody, you can leave anytime you want.

Thank you so much. Literally, I am in tears with the information you have given me. Thank you. I just want my son. That's all. Im just afraid since one of the options to give grandparnets rights is "(3) when the child
is born to an unmarried woman. In such cases, a court may order reasonable
visitation if it is in the best interest of the child." My son does like to go there, but after thinking about everything. I just want my son. His dad has been absent most of his life, and his parents have helped me in the past, but I just want what's best for me and my son. I think the "best" is being with me, the mother. If I want to move, then why not. Like I said, the father is never around, just recently started seeign him once a week. I think its best that we start a new life soemwhere else. Thank you again though.

klarkin · Jul 24, 2012, 05:50 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

His advances, whether you helped them along or not, were improper. That will have a bearing on a court's decision.

I'm not sure how you could pack up everything and leave on a day's notice. Another reason I'm inclined to fight it. You can check with your local Family Court for how to file. I might also look into support groups for single mothers. They can often offer legal advice even have someone to help prepare paperwork.

But if you can get sole custody, you can leave anytime you want.

One more question, if you happen to know the answer. If I move first, and then the grandparents file for visitation, since I've already moved would that still be granted you think?

ScottGem · Jul 24, 2012, 05:59 AM

It could very well be granted, especially if you don't show at the hearing to explain why it shouldn't. Enforcing the order may be a different matter.

klarkin · Jul 24, 2012, 06:02 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

It could very well be granted, especially if you don't show at the hearing to explain why it shouldn't. Enforcing the order may be a different matter.

OK. I guess I don't know how to explain why he shouldn't have visitation with them. I mean, what Im saying is hard to prove. Plus the fact if they ask him, (my child) if he wants to go there, he will say yes. They let him do everything/anything. Hes like a king there. I just don't know how to prove that they are unfit grandparnets I guess. Thank you though.

ScottGem · Jul 24, 2012, 06:21 AM

Tell the truth. Tell them he asked for a "pic" as repayment for doing some repair work on your car. That he has made advances that were unwelcome.

Don't say they are unfit grandparents, but do say you are uncomfortable leaving your child with them.