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    NeedSomeHelp123's Avatar
    NeedSomeHelp123 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 17, 2012, 11:28 AM
    How to tell my boyfriend I have slept with someone else?
    Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 3 years until April, he decided to break up with me. He said he needed space and time for himself. However, 3 weeks later he had another girlfriend. I took this extremely badly and went out with friends partying a lot to try and take my mind off everything. I ended up having a one night stand with a man I met. Now my ex-boyfriend has came back to me and said he has left that woman and loves me and wants to be with me and now realises that he made a mistake.

    I truly believe that we are soul mates and I love him more than words can say. He asked if I had seen anyone else or had slept with anyone else through the time we had been apart and I immediately said no. I completely regret this now but at the time I could not face maybe losing him again.

    However we have been back together for a week now and I am starting to think about the one night stand and realise he needs to know. Also the man I had a one night stand with is friends with a couple of my boyfriends mates which makes me a fool for thinking I could try and forget it as it will most likely get back to him if I tell him or not.

    Please tell me how to deal with this? How do I tell him? Not only that I had a one night stand with a random man, but that I lied to him as well. Or do I tell him at all and hope he does not find out?

    HELP PLEASE!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Jul 17, 2012, 11:40 AM
    You tell the truth, and why you lied at first, and deal with the consequences. If you are really soulmates, he willunderstand. If he isn't a soulmate, best know that now, and if his friends know what you did, it will come out, and there will be even more hell to pay.

    Better from you, than them! Boggles my mind that you would take back a guy who left you and got another girl.
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
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    #3

    Jul 17, 2012, 11:46 AM
    Seriously... he took a break from you to go out with someone else and now you're feeling guilty for doing something while he was messing around with another girl? That's almost funny if you think about it.

    You were free to do what you wanted since he broke it off with you and you were no longer committed as obviously, he wasn't either. Why should you feel guilty for what you did?

    Tell him and if he doesn't like it, tell him to go back to that other girl who he broke up with you for... better yet, tell him you thought about this whole thing and don't like the idea that he did that to you and you can't trust him anymore so you're done with him.
    slapshot_oi's Avatar
    slapshot_oi Posts: 1,537, Reputation: 589
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    #4

    Jul 17, 2012, 12:03 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by NeedSomeHelp123 View Post
    Also the man I had a one night stand with is friends with a couple of my boyfriends mates which makes me a fool for thinking I could try and forget it as it will most likely get back to him if I tell him or not.
    Because of this, he probably will find out.

    If you do tell him, do it with confidence. You did nothing wrong, and, like talaniman said, if you are true soul mates, he'll understand. In truth, what you did while you two were single is none of his business in the first place.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #5

    Jul 17, 2012, 12:25 PM
    First he is a jerk for asking and most likely will try to turn this around to your fault, so be careful in that first week back. It is hard to go back together, esp if both have been with others.

    At this point you tell him the truth, the proper answer would have been none of his business what you did, since you were broken up
    NeedSomeHelp123's Avatar
    NeedSomeHelp123 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Jul 19, 2012, 09:21 AM
    Okay I did miss out some parts of this story. It wasn't plain and easy for him to get me back trust me. We may have started going out last week but he has been broken up with that woman for months now. This was not a quick decision I made and I most certainly am not that type to be walked over by men. And he really shouldn't have asked but it just came up in the conversation when we were talking about us. Thank you guys for your replies yous really helped!

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