[FlammableTacos]

So there is a girl I really like at school and I didn't know how to tell her I liked her so I wrote an anonymous letter and put it in her locker, she read it and now has the letter, she doesn't know who it came from, should I tell her it was me? I am very shy around girls and I have social anxiety disorder so talking to girls is very hard, also we are both in the 8th grade in middle school, she is very smart and pretty and plays Cello in Orchestra, I play Violin and we're both in the middle schools Orchestra, she is 12 and I'm 15, please help me with this, what should I do? Please answer with long paragraphs I really like her and want to be friends with her, and please take this seriously.

Thank you.

[Fr_Chuck]

No, you need to start talking or writing to girls your own age,

[bonita82]

She's 12 year's old let her do her homework. You will met girls your age plus dating girls your age may help you with your social anxiety disorder. You can still like her but please please just be her friend.

[FlammableTacos]

So she is 12 and I'm 15, I know it might sound awkward but she is really pretty, smart, and funny. I have an extremely hard time talking to girls so I really never have talked to a girl before, we're both in 8th grade and in Middle School.

What I'm asking is how could I tell her I like her? I've already written her a letter but I made it anonymous, I will tell her on Friday maybe, I have social anxiety disorder so it is very hard to talk to girls, I get very nervous.

... And NO I never failed any classes and she jumped ahead a few grades, my school before moving here to Washington was in Indiana and therefor they started a year before the Washington School District did.

[Wondergirl]

Have you really been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder and are on serious meds, or did you just pull that out of the air to say you are shy?

Smile when you say hi and let her do much of the talking. Ask leading questions like, "When did that happen?" and say things like, "Tell me more" and "Oh, wow!" Girls love guys who listen and encourage them to talk. She'll get it right away that you like her. You won't have to tell her.

[Alty]

You're only 12. At this age, before considering anything, you should talk to your parents and ask if you're even allowed to date. You'll need their permission to do so. If you talk to this girl, and she's receptive to your advances, you'll have to talk to your parents again and find out if they're okay with you dating a girl 3 years older than you. Her parents will have to agree too.

[Homegirl 50]

Alty she is 12 and he is 15.

I think she is too young to be talking to you. Her parents may not want her talking to boys and one who is 15 may be a real stretch.

[FlammableTacos]

So I'm 15, go to middle school and I'm in the 8th grade, I'm very shy around girls and talking in front of people like giving presentations for English, Science etc... and I've been diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder, thinking I would never find a girl friend I met this one girl who is very smart, she is 12 and is also in the 8th grade with me and we're both in the Orchestra, (she plays Cello and I play Violin)

I really like her and I wrote an anonymous letter to her saying I would want to be friends and I liked her, since it was anonymous she didn't know who wrote it until today when I told her, she didn't freak out and seemed really calm. She lives only 0.5 miles from where I live and I can easily bike down there to her house.

What I am asking is... is dating someone who is 3 years younger than you okay? I mean I don't want mean comments on here and I really would like to know. If you could be nice enough to reply with meaningful comments I would really appreciate it.

Thank you!

[J_9]

At your ages 3 years is really quite a big age gap.

At 12, she is going to need her parent's permission to date anyone, much less a 15 year old.

I can say that I never let my any of my children "date" when they were 12. It's just too young of an age to be trying to handle adult relationships.

[ScottGem]

First, please don't presume to dictate who can answer or how. When you post here you take what you get.

That being said, this is up to her parents. I agree with J_9 that 3 years is a wide gap at your ages. And that she is too young to date one on one. But it is up to her parents to decide.

[sgree175]

Hey good on you for facing up to the challenge of telling the truth about your feelings .Look at al the people who have an age difference for instance : ashton and demi, rich old guys and play boy bunnies . Just be sure that it is the right decision even ask her if it is OK to date her

[ScottGem]

.Look at al the people who have an age difference for instance : ashton and demi, rich old guys and play boy bunnies .

The difference there is that ashton and demi were both ADULTS when they started their relationship. At young ages that age difference matters a lot more and is a lot different.

And more important than asking her is asking her parents.

[joypulv]

You write well, you spell correctly, you have good sentence structure, your thoughts go down on paper better than many of the 40 year olds here, so how is it (if I may) that you are 15 and in the 8th grade, and she is 12 and in 8th too? I don't ask to be nosy or mean or off the subject, but to see how this all might tie in with you being interested in a girl in your class who is 3 years younger. 8th grade is usually 13-14.

[Homegirl 50]

Your girl friend, or it could have been you for all I know asked this question a couple of weeks ago.

12 is too young to date in my opinion and certainly not a 15 year old. Her parents have to be cool with this. I don't think that question was answered when this was asked before.

[emiboo8656]

I think its OK to date people who are younger than you if you look a your parents I'm sure there not the same age so if I were oyu I would go 4 it!

[Homegirl 50]

It's OK to date younger people if you are both at the age of consent or you both have the permission of your parents.
While 3 years is not a lot, there is a big difference between a 12 year old girl and a 15 year old boy.

[ScottGem]

i think its ok to date people who are younger than you if you look a your parents im sure there not the same age so if i were oyu i would go 4 it!!

But I'm reasonably sure his parents were both adults. No one is saying they need to be the same age. But when you are still minors, 2-3 years difference can make a big difference

[andrewjg]

Hey mate,

Good-on for facing up to your fears :), yes socially it is acceptable however not at your age (this is going by welsh standards). When I was in school not all that long ago (im 21) it was highly frowned upon if you liked anyone younger than you, even if its 2 years younger than you. Be careful buddy you don't want to get into situations like that at your age.
And believe me:-
Confidence Will Come!-with time
I could never talk to women or talk about things in-front of groups of people, now you can't shut me up :D

Hope this is of some help to you buddy,

Andy
_______________________
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[JudyKayTee]

Has it struck anyone that Ashton and Demi may not be good examples of how an age difference can work?

Same with Hugh Hefner and the latest cookie cutter girlfriend.

[Wondergirl]

And where is Ashton now?