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    Helpmeam17's Avatar
    Helpmeam17 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 29, 2012, 04:47 PM
    Faithfulness?
    So I got a call from my friend and she said she saw my boyfriend out with this girl. I knew he was going out with her but in a group not just alone with a girl. We've had some problems in the past with faithfulness but since then we've talked, and since then we've been going strong for almost a year. I even thought everything was perfect enough for me to give him my virginity. Was I stupid for giving it up? Do you think he's cheating on me with this girl? I need advice!!
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #2

    Jun 29, 2012, 05:12 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Helpmeam17 View Post
    So I got a call from my friend and she said she saw my boyfriend out with this girl. I knew he was going out with her but in a group not just alone with a girl. We've had some problems in the past with faithfulness but since then we've talked, and since then we've been going strong for almost a year. I even thought everything was perfect enough for me to give him my virginity. Was I stupid for giving it up? Do you think he's cheating on me with this girl? I need advice!!!
    I can't address your virginity - only you know if he was worthy.

    Then the question becomes do you believe him or your friend?

    Did the friend say he was alone with the girl? They weren't in a group, wandered off, something like that? Why does he go out with groups that include unattached females without you?
    Helpmeam17's Avatar
    Helpmeam17 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jun 29, 2012, 05:40 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    I can't address your virginity - only you know if he was worthy.

    Then the question becomes do you believe him or your friend?

    Did the friend say he was alone with the girl? They weren't in a group, wandered off, something like that? Why does he go out with groups that include unattached females without you?

    My friend said they were completely alone no one else near them. He's very social, which is how we met cause we both run in the jock cheerleader circle, but I'm not sure why he didn't invite me to go with him:/ he just said he was going to the fair with this girl and friends, and it turned out he only went with the girl.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #4

    Jun 29, 2012, 05:53 PM
    There is nothing more dangerous than believing second hand information.
    I'm not sure how total strangers online can know the truth.
    Bottom line, you have to ask him, and either believe him or not.
    It isn't easy of course - you can be a too trusting martyr, and you can be a suspicious accusing shrew. We all try our best to be something calm and rational and weigh what we hear, and make a decision based on what we hear, straight from the horse's mouth.
    Helpmeam17's Avatar
    Helpmeam17 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Jun 29, 2012, 05:58 PM
    More then anything I'm scared there might be something going on:/ being together for a year then letting it go down the tub would suck so much! I don't want it to end but I want trust:(
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #6

    Jun 29, 2012, 06:23 PM
    You can't make anyone be faithful to you - you need to look at this situation with very clear eyes.
    mrsDelgado90's Avatar
    mrsDelgado90 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Jun 29, 2012, 07:05 PM
    Bottom line if after a year of being together and there's a problem with trust then its pointless to carry on this way, you can always forgive but never forget and believe me you won't! I've done this a million times and it never works, sit and have a long talk with him, tell him how you feel and how hurt you are by even hearing this rumour! MAINLY! GET FACTS, PROOF AND EVIDENCE BEFORE JUMPING THE GUN!
    Helpmeam17's Avatar
    Helpmeam17 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Jun 30, 2012, 08:11 AM
    I think I got all the truth from him, when I asked him if he was with her behind me back, and he ignored me.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #9

    Jun 30, 2012, 09:05 AM
    Did you give up your virginity thinking that would make him faithful to you?
    If this guy has a history of being unfaithful, you need to rethink whether you want to be with him. This is too much drama and it is so not worth it.
    Helpmeam17's Avatar
    Helpmeam17 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Jun 30, 2012, 12:56 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    Did you give up your virginity thinking that would make him faithful to you?
    If this guy has a history of being unfaithful, you need to rethink whether or not you want to be with him. This is too much drama and it is so not worth it.
    I didn't give him my virginity cause I thought it would make him faithful. I did it cause for the longest time things were going great, and I thought it was the right thing to do. And it is too much drama for me or anyone, which is why after a year of falling head over heels in love with this guy I ended it
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #11

    Jun 30, 2012, 01:00 PM
    Good for you. That was smart.

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