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brazilianbabe · Jun 25, 2012, 12:06 AM

Hello there!
I was just talking with my current boyfriend about our pasts and stuff.
He was a virgin when we met, but I wasn't. I had ONE boyfriend for 2 years some time ago. They don't know each other or anything.
So, as we were talking, and since we can always talk about anything, he asked me if I have ever given him a blowjob, and I said I did. After that he said he was a little bit disgusted and couldn't even say that he loves me properly.
I get that it is probably very hard for him to deal with it, but I want to help him get over this, how can I help him?

PS: he won't even kiss me now :(

J_9 · Jun 25, 2012, 12:11 AM

May I ask how old the two of you are? Our answers will be age specific.

brazilianbabe · Jun 25, 2012, 12:12 AM

I'm 20 and he is 21.

brazilianbabe · Jun 25, 2012, 12:13 AM

Originally Posted by J_9

May I ask how old the two of you are? Our answers will be age specific.

Sorry, I replied on the wrong place!
I am 19 and he is 21.

smoothy · Jun 25, 2012, 06:59 AM

You might want to reconsider him as being boyfriend material... sounds to me like he is seriously lacking in the maturity department. Among other reasons... what you did before you got together with a previous boyfriend is none of his business. And he is doing the equivalent of a three year old huffing, stomping their feet and throwing a tantrum.

Fr_Chuck · Jun 25, 2012, 07:23 AM

First it is best when talking to a new boyfriend or any next boyfriend, to really never talk about your sex life with another boyfriend

brazilianbabe · Jun 25, 2012, 07:47 AM

He asked me that specifically, why should I lie? I don't expect him to lie to me, specially about stuff like that...

smoothy · Jun 25, 2012, 07:52 AM

And you now see he is more of a boy than a man... emotionally.

brazilianbabe · Jun 25, 2012, 07:57 AM

Originally Posted by smoothy

And you now see he is more of a boy than a man...emotionally.

So what should I do now? Just dump him and go out looking for a man? Keep in mind that I love this person :(

smoothy · Jun 25, 2012, 08:10 AM

Originally Posted by brazilianbabe

So what should I do now? Just dump him and go out looking for a man? Keep in mind that I love this person :(

Well, pay a lot more attention to his other failings... I bet you are going to start seeing them now. A guy that fixates on stuff like that is going to be doing a lot of other stuff too...

Also... they are also going to be quick to nit-pick about other things that weren't done to their precise satisfaction, you just haven't had that happen you... yet.

Do those things and you might find the answer to that guestion yourself... what I think you should do... or what the rest of us think you should do... isn't going to matter until you can see what we see from the clarity of our positions... which lack the emotional component you have to see through.

brazilianbabe · Jun 25, 2012, 08:34 AM

Originally Posted by smoothy

Well, pay a lot more attention to his other failings...I bet you are going to start seeing them now. A guy that fixates on stuff like that is going to be doing a lot of other stuff too....

Also....they are also going to be quick to nit-pick about other things that weren't done to their precise satisfaction, you just haven't had that happen you...yet.

Do those things and you might find the answer to that guestion yourself...what I think you should do...or what the rest of us think you should do...isn't going to matter until you can see what we see from the clarity of our positions...which lack the emotional component you have to see through.

I see, thank you. Though I don't think I could actually do that, I understand that knowing about something like that might make you feel a little grossed out, but I want to help him get over this... Should I just wait until he realizes that my past is in my past and he is my present and hopefully future?

Fr_Chuck · Jun 25, 2012, 08:39 AM

If you ask him about his sexual past or he ask you, the answer is,

That is none of your business, You do not tell a new partner everything even if they ask, it is not lying it is that what happens with one couple is private.

smoothy · Jun 25, 2012, 08:46 AM

Originally Posted by brazilianbabe

I see, thank you. Though I don't think I could actually do that, I understand that knowing about something like that might make you feel a little grossed out, but I want to help him get over this.... Should I just wait until he realizes that my past is in my past and he is my present and hopefully future?

I'm not the kind that gets grossed out about that... actually, quite the opposite... I've dated a couple girls in the past... way in the past, that wouldn't do that among other things... I'm glad to be rid of them...

I'm one of the guys who would have marked a check mark in you positives collumn in my mental checklist.

You don't help him get over it... some people have such deeply rooted inhibitions... they never get over them.

brazilianbabe · Jun 25, 2012, 08:50 AM

Originally Posted by smoothy

I'm not the kind that gets grossed out about that....actually, quite the opposite....I've dated a couple girls in the past.....way in the past, that wouldn't do that amoung other things....I'm glad to be rid of them...

I'm one of the guys who would have marked a check mark in you positives collumn in my mental checklist.

You don't help him get over it....some people have such deeply rooted inhibitions...they never get over them.

Thank you!

slapshot_oi · Jun 25, 2012, 09:42 AM

Originally Posted by smoothy

You might want to reconsider him as being boyfriend material....sounds to me like he is seriously lacking in the maturity department.

On the money.

At 19, I had a conniption with my girlfriend when she told me she had a one-night stand. It hurt to know that her body was with someone else. Seven years later, I no longer ask about my girlfriends' sexual past nor do I reveal mine. It's information that will not benefit the relationship. My jealousy of sexual partners remains, but these days I take measures to prevent that from ever happening.

It all comes with maturity and learning what not to do. So again, smoothy's right.