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Michelle79 · Jun 17, 2012, 10:29 AM

I am 20 and just moved out of my parents home because my mother is mentlly ill (and is too much for me and my sister to take care of.) And my father is a very mean, verbal and mental abuser. My sister who is 16, does not want to live with them because of these reasons. My parents home is not a stable environment for her. I would like for her to live with me. Is there anything I can do to get her?

JudyKayTee · Jun 17, 2012, 10:31 AM

Where?

You would have to apply for guardianship OR your parents would have to consent.

Are you self-supporting with your own place to live? If you just moved out your living conditions might not be suitable because it's so recent. You need to prove stability if you go to Court.

Michelle79 · Jun 17, 2012, 10:37 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Where?

You would have to apply for guardianship OR your parents would have to consent.

Are you self-supporting with your own place to live? If you just moved out your living conditions might not be suitable because it's so recent. You need to prove stability if you go to Court.

They would not give me there consent I would have to fight for her more or less. I just moved out about a month ago. I have a stable job. But I am living with my fiancées family till I can get my own house. Should I wait till then?

JudyKayTee · Jun 17, 2012, 10:46 AM

Yes. You have to prove you are stable, can support her, all of that. Of course, if she's in an abusive situation then Child Protective Services can step in. I don't know if you think that's the way to go at this point.

You might be better getting an apartment, being there for 6 months, then making a try at guardianship. I don't know how the Court would look on a boyfriend/girlfriend (engaged or not) scenario because the Court's concern is stability in her life. I know 50% of all marriages break up - I don't know what the percentage of relationships breaks up, but the Court would be concerned.

I don't like personal advice on these Boards BUT if there were more people like you out there, dedicated to family, trying to help your sister, the World would be a better place.

Michelle79 · Jun 17, 2012, 10:51 AM

Thank you, my sister means everything to me so I will do whatever I have to in order to help her. My relationship I have now I can put on hold put off I don't care. I do have a daughter that I am supporting, would that not show that I could support my sister as well. I don't want child services involed because I would be scared I would lose my sister to them.

ScottGem · Jun 17, 2012, 11:39 AM

Originally Posted by Michelle79

Thank you, my sister means everything to me so I will do whatever I have to in order to help her. My relationship I have now I can put on hold put off I dont care. I do have a daughter that I am supporting, would that not show that I could support my sister as well. I dont want child services involed because I would be scared I would lose my sister to them.

First you said fiancée, now you say you could put it on hold. Doesn't sound like a stable relationship.

Second you have your own child, actually a single mother at 20 is not going to inspire confidence in the courts.

The only way I see this happening is, if you get CPS involved indicating you want to foster your sister.

What I would suggest is that you get a friend who does not have a sister or child to ask a social worker for a confidential consultation. Arm her with details of your sister's home life and your situation. See what the social worker says about the situation and the possibility of fostering her.

JudyKayTee · Jun 17, 2012, 11:47 AM

Originally Posted by Michelle79

Thank you, my sister means everything to me so I will do whatever I have to in order to help her. My relationship I have now I can put on hold put off I dont care. I do have a daughter that I am supporting, would that not show that I could support my sister as well. I dont want child services involed because I would be scared I would lose my sister to them.

I wish you had posted this from the start. I see no hope in a guardianship right now. You have a child, you don't have a residence of your own. The Court WILL say if you can't put a roof over your child's head you cannot put one over your sister's head.

That may or may not be true.

Instead of showing that you support your daughter it actually shows the opposite. If you were renting from a stranger I would feel different about it.

And a fiancé and a child and no marriage is not going to make you sound either stable or like a good role model.

I'm not saying any of this is true - I'm saying what the Court just might say.